“If Caron Butler is done, the Wizards are done.” That’s what we said about Washington in our latest NBA Hit List, but we didn’t think the sans-Butler squad would look as terrible as they did last night, getting 20-pieced by the Bobcats. Gerald Wallace — who would have been Caron’s defensive assignment — spent the night in the lane, putting up 34 points and 14 boards … In the first half, Adam Morrison threw a lob for Wallace that hit the backboard, bounced off Darius Songaila’s shoulder and off-glass for a bucket. Wallace got credit for the points, and the tape was sent to Marv Albert and Frank Layden for the long-awaited next volume of Dazzling Dunks & Basketball Bloopers … Who was that guy in the gold uni wearing a wig of dreads and an Etan Thomas mask? He was kind of a beast, going for 17 points, 14 boards and 2 blocks … The Wizards’ loss opened the door for the Heat to take the lead in the Southeast Division by beating the Raptors. Shaq had 16 points and 12 boards. Both sides were doing almost everything they could to lose the game. Miami led by 10 going in, but everyone went cold while the Raps fought to draw within three. We know Bargnani and Garbajosa are out, but was T.J. Ford really the best choice to take the potentially game-tying three? He was 2-for-13 on the night, and, you know, he’s T.J. Ford. Juan Dixon and Mo Pete were available … We saw some footage of Miami practice, and D-Wade isn’t wearing the QB jersey … In the women’s NCAA title game, Candace Parker scored 17 and nabbed Final Four MOP in leading Tennessee to the championship over Rutgers. This one was never really that close. Rutgers has talent, but they weren’t ready to hang with an older, hungrier Lady Vols squad. Has it really been nine years since Pat Summitt last lifted the trophy? Doesn’t seem that long, does it? … Great sequence in the second half when UT’s 5-foot-2 Shannon Bobbitt (who looks like Frodo Baggins next to the 6-foot-4 Parker — but whose handle is straight lethal) hit a series of treys during a big Lady Vols run and the cameras showed Scarlet Knights coach C. Vivian Stringer and an assistant on the bench just shaking their heads in disbelief … Kia Vaughn had 20 and 10 for Rutgers … Candace Parker’s boyfriend is Shelden Williams? Why? … After the Pistons disposed of the Pacers, NBATV’s Jim Spnarkel dropped this line in the studio show: “You get the impression [the Pistons] really don’t give a — um, they really don’t care who scores the points.” That was followed up by an excruciating satellite interview with Jason Maxiell. We’re not blaming the studio guys for the interview, though. Max was showing less personality than a paper plate … Playing without Dirk (food poisoning), the Mavs managed to get past the Kings on the road. Josh Howard picked up the slack with 29 points, Jason Terry had 27 and Jerry Stackhouse had 23 plus a dagger fadeaway over Ron Artest from the foul line — Dirk’s pet shot. Most of Howard’s buckets came against Artest, too, but Ron-Ron was at least doing his thing on offense (25 pts). Artest was hitting the J, crossing cats up, moving without the rock, and one time he chased down a loose ball, shed J-Ho and sent him flying, and got the breakaway dunk. Late in the fourth, though, Artest had two straight possessions where he tried to post up and got swatted by Erick Dampier … The Suns were at full strength, but got a battle from the Grizzlies before pulling out a five-point win. Steve Nash handed out 17 dimes … The Lakers play-by-play guy after Kobe stuck a turnaround J in J.R. Smith’s grill: “37 points for the best in the game.” Someone check the tapes and see if the announcers in Cleveland, Miami, San Antonio, Dallas, Phoenix, Houston, Minnesota and Washington are doing the same thing … Kobe finished with 39 in the loss, while Carmelo dropped 31 as he tries to keep in the in scoring race. ‘Melo had a sick reverse baseline cram on Andrew Bynum, and a big tip dunk late in the fourth. Marcus Camby (21 pts, 20 rebs, 6 blks) and Lamar Odom (17 pts, 14 rebs, 12 asts) also had monster stat lines … LeBron was back from the knee tendinitis that kept him out against Boston the other day, and he had the Minnesota crowd going. With the Wolves turning out their typical sorry showing (except for KG, who had 22 and 12 boards), the fans finally woke up in the second half when LeBron (31 pts, 12 rebs) threw down a tomahawk on the break, caught an alley from Larry Hughes and finished real strong, and capped it off with a breakaway windmill … After the third dunk, the Cavs play-by-play guy said, “All the way with LBJ.” That sounds like either a super-corny game show or an awful idea for a reality show … Without his nemesis Ray Allen in the way, Bruce Bowen knocked down six threes in a Spurs rout over the Sonics. With or without Ray, there’s really no worse matchup between two teams in the League than Spurs/Sonics. Seriously. In the four times they played this year, San Antonio won by 20, 31, 41 and 19 points … We’re out like Maxiell’s personality …
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April 4th, 2007 at 7:20 am
Jan says:
Looked up Shelden Williams’ stat line after I read the thing about him and Candance. The Pic on his NBA Player profile is one of the funniest I’ve ever seen - it covers quite some sections of the arena and includes a total of propably 8 spectators
April 4th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Kudaben says:
Sheldon Williams?!?!? Get the #*&% out of here!
I was just talking with my friend about Women basketball players and who they date, while playing one on one, which led to a convo about Candice Parker looking like a streched Beyonce and who could we see her with in The League…Sheldon Williams?!?!? He wasn’t even on the radar.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:12 am
PR says:
What’s with all the hate towards Sheldon? I mean it’s fine to hate because he played at Duke & all but cause of Candance? I guess he does have “game” after all.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:36 am
bucketz says:
sheldon williams got a 5-head and some googly eyes..thas where the hates commin from
April 4th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Phil B says:
You know that Simpsons episode with Ken Griffey Jr. and he drinks the giant serum and his head grows really big? That’s Sheldon Williams.
April 4th, 2007 at 11:32 am
jon GM says:
I know candice and anthony from HS. She always said she wanted to sleep with Brian Scalabrine. What a downgrade huh?
April 4th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Eddie Greens says:
sheldon williams = mongoloid
April 4th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
J Rog says:
Yep I knew about this, funny thing is I saw them together at
church in Knoxville. That’s when I knew they were dating, it’s kinda like a Jay-Z / Beyonce thing though…can’t hate the playa
April 4th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Big Aaron says:
Phil B: Shelden is exactly like that. It’s uncanny! Dude just wasn’t blessed in the looks department. Fair play to him for bagging Candace though. She’s hot.
April 4th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
justin says:
“37 points for the best in the game.” Maybe if you are talking about the best as far as not getting his teammates involved and taking bad shots. The guy has never won a playoff series without Shaq so just give it up. Stats don’t equal greatness if you take 30 shots a game and your team is barely over .500.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
RandomTask says:
“All the way with LBJ.” - that’s an old school presidential campaign tagline for Lyndon B. Johnson. Cavs play-by-play dude is showing his age there (only way I know this is cuz my G-Pa gave me an original button from that campaign).