Easy, breezy … ugly for Team V.I.

Game 2 of Team USA’s FIBA Americas tournament run — a.k.a. The Slaughtering until further notice — was way less interesting than the opener. While the Venezuela game was a rout, too, it was at least worth watching because it was the first time we’d seen the ’07 version of the U.S. squad together. Last night, against Team Virgin Islands, it was just a savaging that got boring quickly … Again, Team USA’s defense set the tone; they were up by almost 20 before you knew it simply because Carl Krauser and crew couldn’t even find (let alone make) an open shot inside of 30 feet for long stretches … And again, Kobe was the linchpin on D. Seriously, how frustrating must it be to have a motivated Mamba sticking you? If you can even get the ball in the first place, you either have to start out with your back up against the halfcourt line, or with your back turned to Kobe just to protect the ball. Meanwhile the best player in the world is in your jersey, all arms and quickness … Carmelo (22 pts) came out on fire, sticking a couple treys and dropping 17 points in the first half after scoring 17 total against Venezuela. If he can consistently hit his threes (like that ever happens with Team USA) he’s gonna be a serious problem against any level of international comp. In fact, in the office yesterday the question came up: Is ‘Melo Team USA’s most important player? After Tayshaun Prince, he’s the one guy who can guard opposing power forwards on the perimeter (a necessity in the international game) and his inside-outside offensive arsenal makes him the most versatile scorer on the U.S. roster … LeBron seems to be trying to outdo himself with every dunk in this tournament. The baseline tomahawk was especially nasty … With the game itself putting us to sleep, we started asking random things like:

* “Do Kobe and Mike Miller still have beef?”
* “Is Dwight Howard officially the most unreliable free throw shooter in the League now?”
* “Why is Amare‘s ‘earring tape’ in the middle of his ear and not on the lobe?”
* “Do the guys on the U.S. squad clown Mike Redd about his bald spot?”
* “How are Kobe and Jamaal Magloire the same age (29) when one of them plays like he’s 44?”

More interesting for us than USA/Virgin Islands was NBA TV’s replay of a ’96 Team USA waxing Team China. Check the roster: Barkley, Shaq, Stockton, Pippen, Admiral, Rock Richmond, GP, Penny, Grant Hill, Mailman, Reggie (with ridiculous-looking red goggles) and Hakeem. Watching Penny and Grant in their prime back then and thinking ahead to how they’ll both look this season made us feel old … The Wolves are going to try and grant Juwan Howard‘s trade request. You know it’s a very real possibility that Juwan, C-Webb and Jalen could all end up on the same team? That’d be a perfect way for them to go out … We love getting stuff in the mail. Yesterday we got some copies of Digger Phelps‘ new book, Undertaker’s Son. While the title alone is funny enough — imagine looking at Digger’s matching tie/highlighter get-up and humming the Undertaker’s entrance music at the same time — the quote on the cover was hilarious:

Thanks, Donald

What are the chances Trump actually read Digger’s book? We’ll say somewhere between “None” and “He doesn’t even know who Digger Phelps is.” … We’re out like Team V.I. …