It’s gonna be a long season for Mr. Foye
(Photo. Jeff Forney)

Preseason rankings are weird. In many cases (i.e., college football), they give certain teams advantages before one game has even been played, while knocking some teams out of the title race before the season even starts. On the other hand, it’s impossible not to be interested in seeing where your squad ranks before the action actually tips off. So we put together our first ‘07-08 NBA Hit List on the eve of the season:

30. Minnesota Timberwolves - It’s gonna be like Freshman Day 82 times over for this group. Since the front office clearly has no interest in winning now, we’d like to see if a Telfair/Foye backcourt could work long-term.

29. Sacramento Kings - Bibby’s out for two months and Orien Greene is taking his place. We can’t get it out of our mind how miserable this team looked last year, and it’s hard to say a college coach with little experience will turn that attitude around.

28. Indiana Pacers - Unless Granger and someone from the law firm of Murphy, Tinsley & Dunleavy has a monster season, J.O. will be sulking (and probably injured) by Christmas.

27. Philadelphia 76ers - Iguodala has a chance to break out like a young Vince Carter, with Andre Miller as his poor man’s J-Kidd. But there’s no RJ here, and the front court is laughable.

26. Los Angeles Clippers - We’d have them ranked lower (no Brand, no Livingston), but if Sam Cassell is playing, he won’t allow his team to stink too hard.

25. Seattle Supersonics - Durant will score. Wilcox will get some dunks. Jeff Green will do some of everything. And Seattle will give up 80 points a night in the paint alone.

24. Milwaukee Bucks - Remember, they were OK last year until Michael Redd got hurt and everyone else soon followed. Yi getting to start over Charlie V is all the evidence we need that someone was given a PT promise.

23. Memphis Grizzlies - Juan Carlos Navarro is the Jack Haley to Pau Gasol’s Dennis Rodman. Except Gasol isn’t a nutcase and Navarro can actually play.

22. Portland Trail Blazers - While everyone’s talking about how Greg Oden isn’t around, LaMarcus Aldridge will let ‘em know he is around. That SF job is just sitting there for someone (Martell Webster, Travis Outlaw, Darius Miles) to take and run with.

21. Charlotte Bobcats - The bench takes a hit with May and Morrison going down for the season, but they have a go-to scorer (J-Rich), a playmaker (Felton) and two defensive stalwarts (Wallace and Okafor) to build around.

20. Atlanta Hawks - Here’s Joe Johnson in Dime #37: “You can’t say we’re too young now. Everybody’s going into their fourth or fifth year or better, other than the rookies. It’s time to step up - the excuses are over.”

19. New Orleans Hornets - They’re biggest problem last year was injuries, and because of Peja’s bad back, N.O. didn’t have enough shooters. Enter Mo Pete and a (supposedly) healthy Peja, and a (supposedly) healthy David West, and they should be better. Now Chris Paul has some catching up to do with Deron Williams.

18. New York Knicks - Talent at every position, proven scorers, a coach the players like player for … Wait, didn’t we say the same thing last year?

17. Miami Heat - It wouldn’t be possible for an NBA team to look worse than the Heat looked this preseason; it was like a replay of the Kevin Edwards/Rory Sparrow bad ol’ days. But they still have Shaq to carry them while D-Wade is out, and Ricky Buckets will be glad to help.

16. Golden State Warriors - It all starts with Baron and his health. For some reason, GS just has one-hit wonder written all over them. Hopefully we’re wrong, though, ’cause we love Nellie Ball.

15. Los Angeles Lakers - Let’s say they keep Kobe for now. Team Drama will be OK with Mamba, a healthy Odom and an improving Bynum.

14. Toronto Raptors - What’s the over/under on number of games Chris Bosh plays this year? Seventy? Sixty? Bargnani is good, but he’s not good enough right now to make up for not having Bosh for extended stretches.

13. Orlando Magic - It’s been a rough start for Rashard Lewis in the preseason, but we think he’ll pull it together. If this were football, Stan Van Gundy could put J.J. Redick in on offense and replace him with Keith Bogans on defense. Unfortunately, whichever one of them is on the court, you’re suffering in one area.

12. New Jersey Nets - Kidd is arguably still in his prime, Vince is paid and happy, and RJ swears he’s gonna be better than ever. After that, though, this team is garbage.

11. Washington Wizards - It might take a while for Arenas to hit 100 percent, but Caron is ready to go, and Jamison’s got a full clip and an itchy trigger finger.

10. Cleveland Cavaliers - LeBron got better. Cleveland got worse.

9. Denver Nuggets - So long as the J.R. Smith saga doesn’t become a distraction and George Karl gets in one more year before inevitably irritating the entire team, they’ll be good to go. Anything they get out of K-Mart is a bonus.

8. Chicago Bulls - Some people have them winning the East even without getting Kobe in a trade. We wouldn’t go that far; the Bulls still need a low-post scorer. But it’ll be tough to score with Big Ben, Tyrus and Joakim patrolling the paint.

7. Detroit Pistons - If the NBA is fake, according to Rasheed, why would DavidVince McMahonStern keep allowing the Pistons to go deep into the playoffs?

6. Houston Rockets - T-Mac is on a mission. We’d assume Yao is, too. And that Scola guy is apparently pretty nice. The PG situation could get sticky, but if everyone keeps their egos in check, we like the changes of pace it offers.

5. Utah Jazz - Derek Fisher is out; Ronnie Brewer is in. The kid looked great in the preseason, and if he keeps it up when the games matter he’ll fill Utah’s biggest hole. The AK/Sloan situation is allegedly in good shape, but that blowup is always lurking.

4. Boston Celtics - Has any team in NBA history improved so greatly in the course of one offseason? KG can average 6-7 assists just on kick-outs to Ray and Pierce.

3. Phoenix Suns - Time is running out for Nash. They’ve got to at least make the Finals one of these years, right?

2. Dallas Mavericks - Don’t let the Warriors series make you forget how this squad stomped the League last year. If Dirk doesn’t come out this season like Schwarzenegger in the first Terminator, we’ll be very disappointed in him.

1. San Antonio Spurs - You gotta knock out the champ to take the crown.