Hoopla / May 2, 2008 / 10:30 am

Is There Any Way This is True?

By Dime Magazine

Read this story. It was sent to us this morning and looks to be from back in November. If it’s remotely true, it’s pretty funny.

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29 Responses to “Is There Any Way This is True?”

  1. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 am

    jason says:

    u guys have to show ur readers this…there was the jay-z diss…but a dc rapper has responded with a better track…a dis of lebron and jayz http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UfqLZGYiKA

  2. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:43 am

    yallallreadyknow says:

    i bet after them gatorade commercials, lashonda and her dmv girl wanna holla

  3. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:43 am

    The Jed says:

    So let me get this straight. Kevin Garnett, NBA Superstar, can take the time to go make sure his license is in check, but Christian Grant-Fields, Lifestyle Editor of Dime, still hasn’t found the time to get his license?

    That’s about right.

    Wait, did I just post this on the comments section for anyone to read? My bad Chris.

  4. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:44 am

    MoxWestCoastRep says:

    …Soooooo KG carries zero cash on him? Not sure I believe that. But its a funny story.
    I think we can all agree the DMV is a flippin nightmare. I try to avoid the DMV like the plague!!

  5. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 am

    james says:

    doesn’t the name of the website give it away? the news on there is as real as the news on The Onion.

  6. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Mister Sun says:

    Damn, if that ain’t funny, then i don’t know.
    thats always the most annoying, waiting at a dmv, a doctor or whatever
    my record is only 3 hours, makes you wanna riot

  7. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Mister Sun says:

    but if you look at this…http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2007/11/kobe-agrees-to-bulls-trade-only-if-he-gets-to-be-renamed-michael-jordan.html
    …you know its definitely untrue, but very funny regardless

  8. May 2nd, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Prof. TX says:

    I lived in Boston for a couple of years when I was teaching at BC, and Garnett’s experience is normal there. Those RMV offices are horrible.
    And how can you look at him and not think he’s 6′10″?

    No offense to anyone here who works in one of those places, but it seems like about 95% of those employees deserve to be using the special parking spaces.

  9. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Celts Fan says:

    EXACTLY Prof. TX.

    and if you’ve ever been to a DMV, you know it’s entirely possible this could be true. I love how we can spend a trillion dollars for Iraq but can’t get more than 1 friggin person at a time behind the counter at the DMV, and that person is almost always completely incompetant, not to mention the DMV is only open for short hours during work hours (like 9-4) and it’s always too busy to get there during a lunch, so you actually have to take time off from work to do that crap. Good times

  10. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am

    TWolves Convert says:

    What I want to know is if the chick who loaned him the $24 ever got her money back.

  11. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:34 am

    Brown says:

    I want to know what they actually measured Garnett at. Ain’t no way he’s only 6′10″. We’ll never know his true height, but that only really matters when he’s not his true size in video games.

    How hard is it for the NBA to measure guys and get the number right? They must have worked for the DMV before coming to the NBA.

  12. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Prof. TX says:

    From some stories I’ve heard, the NBA seems to take the team measurements. Duncan insists he’s 6′11″ because it helps classify him as a PF (somehow) and not a C where he’d have to face bigger guys and lose his precious starting spot on the all-star team. Olajuwon was really 6′11″ but got listed as 7′ pretty often to make it a more intimidating measure of a center.

    They did that in the movie Blue Chips. The players get their measurements hyped up during introductions to sound more impressive.

  13. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 am

    fiyaman says:

    Jason thanks for the link

    it sounds better than Jays track

  14. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 am

    fiyaman says:

    Unfortunately for Garnett, DMVs in Boston no longer carry magazines or books, due to rampant theft. “I am not sure how they roll in the twin cities,” said Roger Marshall, spokesperson for the Massachusetts DMV. “But here in the Commonwealth, we don’t want our DMVs to be like modern-day barbershops. We don’t want people hanging around and talking all day. Get in, get out, you know?”

    doesnt sound professional talking (story is fake)

  15. May 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am

    Austin Burton says:

    “Duncan insists he’s 6′11″ because it helps classify him as a PF (somehow) and not a C where he’d have to face bigger guys and lose his precious starting spot on the all-star team.”

    You’ve gotta be joking. Even if Duncan was 7-4, Popovich would play him at PF, which is why he’s classified as such on the All-Star ballot. On the flip side, if you’re 6-8 and play center (Ben Wallace), that’s what you’re classified as on the ballot.

  16. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Prof. TX says:

    When Duncan got listed as a C this year, were the Spurs really objecting because of a supposed interest in historical accuracy when people look back at that game, or were they upset that he’d get fewer votes than Yao in that category and thus not be a starter?
    It looked alot like Duncan saying “no fair, put me in a competition I can win.”

  17. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Christian Grant-Fields says:

    Dang Jed,
    Just put me on Front Street why don’t ya? Sheesh…where is the love?

  18. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    JHov says:

    You would think the DMV would treat KG a little better seeing as he’s their first legit chance in over a decade for a ring!

  19. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Austin Burton says:

    @Prof. TX — I highly doubt Duncan himself actually cares. One time I asked Duncan about the Basketball Hall of Fame and he responded with a shrug; what’s he care about All-Star Games? Now, do the Spurs as an organization care? Probably, ’cause it makes them look better if they have an All-Star starter. But either way, he should be on the ballot as a PF ’cause that’s his position, and it has nothing to do with being listed at 6-11 or 7-foot.

  20. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Sam says:

    Read the other stories in the site. It’s a satire site, the The Onion, but for sports.

  21. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    MJAX says:

    So nobody in DMV saw the commercial “I Remember” commercial?!!? or the Gatorade commercial they play every 19 minutes? Come on, are DMV people just not part of tv society in Boston?!
    How do you go home that day an tell your family or whoever that some tall guy, claiming he was 6′10 named Kevin Garnett came in your office and you basically gave him the run around and a number like all the rest. When the C’s win the title, no DMV employees allowed to the celebration!!!!

  22. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Prof. TX says:

    Austin,
    I guess the real issue is that writers need to put him in one category. You say he’s a PF, which is great, because you’ve made a decision. I personally think that what separates him from KG in the debate is that Duncan is a back-to-the-basket 7-footer and KG is not. KG fits the classic PF description but Duncan is the definition of center. The Spurs can list him at shooting guard if they want, but it doesn’t mean it has to make sense.
    I get sick of the ESPN articles where they rank him as the #1 PF and the #1 Center. Which is it? They also rank him as one of the best American players and the top foreign player. It can’t be both. By that logic, Michael Jordan is the best PG/SF/PF/C of all time anyway, because he’s the best player, right? The TD love at ESPN and Fox gets out of hand sometimes, giving him all sorts of accolades that he shouldn’t qualify for.
    Of course, maybe half of that is just Rosen looking for an excuse to write another Spurs tribute…

  23. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    GEE...BREAKOUT! Before ya get bumrushed... says:

    KG got to know the scallywags gone come out when they see that check! Come on.

    He tried himself doing that. Most everyone knows the DMV is a place you go when you got your patience level up real high lol.

    That is just like going to an HBCU or any College or University for that matter that doesn’t have it to the point where you can register for classes online or through the phone.

    You have to get your patience level up and stand in a longggggggg (longer than a welfare line) line. You are seriously playing yaself if you think you just going to be in and out.

  24. May 2nd, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    JA says:

    Position eligibility is rather annoying at times. Is Duncan a PF or a Center? Is Garnett a PF or a SF (as KG has eligibility at SF for some reason)?

    Is it how you play on offence? Is it who you guard on defence? For a center, is it the person taking the jump ball? - as there are a few centers that rarely take the jump.

    Duncan seems like a center to me. He plays a lot in the post. He guards the other team’s center a lot. He’s bigger (6-11, 260) than both of his team’s other “centers” in Oberto (6-10, 245) and Kurt Thomas (6-9, 235). And I can’t say for sure, but I think he takes the opening tip for his team each game doesn’t he?

  25. May 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Ross says:

    I think the “Celtics sign E.T. to make Cassell comfortable” is more likely to be true than this one. You’d think KG would just renew it online like everyone else does.

  26. May 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    daquest?on says:

    man if i was that girl that loaned him 24 dollars id be mofo u make one million dollars a week f u and ur cheap ass … ne ways i think its fake

  27. May 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Jeffrey says:

    Now that’s funny.

  28. May 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    GEE...BREAKOUT! Before ya get bumrushed... says:

    KG could have just used the picture you all used for this article DIME.

  29. May 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Bust Jlaze says:

    this isn’t real…

    “I am not sure how they roll in the twin cities,” said Roger Marshall, spokesperson for the Massachusetts DMV. “But here in the Commonwealth, we don’t want our DMVs to be like modern-day barbershops. We don’t want people hanging around and talking all day. Get in, get out, you know?”

    SPOKESPERSON FOR THE DMV? C’mon….

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