Can you come up with a basketball reality TV show?
Gil TV?So I’m watching some crap on TV last night and I see a commercial for some new level of crap: “Hole in a Wall.”
Now, I lost faith in the creativity of reality-show producers around the time when three different networks had versions of karaoke/”Do You Know The Words?”-type shows on at the same time, but “Hole in a Wall” sets a new standard of ridiculousness. The idea (surely ripped from British or Japanese TV) is that you stand on a platform as a wall with a oddly-shaped hole in it comes moving towards you. Before it gets there, you have to contort your body to fit the hole as it passes you by, otherwise it’ll knock you into a pool of water under the platform. Stupid, I know. But at least seeing that gave me some motivation to dig through my desk and dust off the sitcom pilot I started working on long ago. Compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on TV lately, my show will be Masterpiece Theater (starring Brian Hooks).
Since the reality TV genre has obviously run out of ideas, it got me thinking: What is the best (or worst) basketball-themed reality show you can come up with?
Is it simply following someone like Gilbert Arenas or Paul Pierce around all day? Maybe it’s the “DeShawn Stevenson Dorm Room Variety Hour.” Or the always-entertaining, “Are You Smarter Than Rick Sund?”
When I was in college, a basketball player who was in one of my Communications classes had a summer internship at FOXSports, and while there pitched an idea for a show called “America’s Next Top Draft Pick,” where aspiring pro ballplayers competed in various challenges — everything from three-point shooting to beating back groupies and financial sharks — for the ultimate prize of an NBA tryout.
That’s not a bad idea. Definitely worth watching more than someone trying to fit through a hole in a wall.
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August 25th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Bond says:
I say put all the 1st round draft picks in a house for a month leading up to the draft and sit back and watch the drama.
August 25th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Skeets says:
Gil’s new reality show episodes have already been “leaked” online …
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Gilbert-Arenas-new-reality-show-episodes-leaked?urn=nba,102890
August 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
alaskan_fire_dragon says:
Retired players try to become analysts and get tormented… i mean mentored by none other than Bill Walton and Doug Collins
August 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Brian Scalabrine says:
Anytning with me in it
people will watch
i’m a freakin nba champ
August 25th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
shake&bake says:
Lock Ron Artest and Bill Walton in a room and see what happens. Or have a competitive eating contest with Tractor Traylor, Shawn Kemp, and Oliver Miller.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Celts Fan says:
It’s called “I Ate That.” You pick 3 NBA players (former Trail Blazers would be good bets,) put them in a small room alone, and give them a nice, fat, perfectly rolled L and a table full of junk food from 7-11. Doritos, Funyons, Skittles, pretzel sticks, shnoz berries – everything. They then have 1 hour to smoke and eat as much as they want. After they’re done, they have to dunk a ball, measure their vert, and have an entire conversation with Dikembe Mutumbo without asking him to repeat anything. Eddy Curry would not be permitted to play to ensure competitive balance.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
loc says:
“The Odd Couple”
Yao Ming and Ron Artest star in this reality show featuring all of the houston rockets. They share a 2 bedroom condo and wackiness ensues. THe catch phrase of Rick Adelman yelling “Ron-Ronnnnnnnnnnnn” dons millions of chinese made t-shirts.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
MoxWestCoastRep says:
Laker girl try out house. Boom.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
ERIC says:
@ CELTS FAN
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD FUNNY IDEA
August 25th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Blue says:
@ celts fan…
damn, that’s some way out shit…you’re high right now aren’t you? haha…i’m kidding man, that was some funny stuff.
i say you have lebron and deshawn stevenson in a steel cage match with tag-team partners soulja boy and jay-z.
before the main event though, you should have a bunch of bare asses sticking out from behind a curtain and have kobe lick each one and see if he can tell which one is shaq’s.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
JHov says:
SlamBall to me always seemed kinda staged..like most reality shows! A bball version of American Gladiators!
August 25th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Kermit the Washington says:
How bout this…
Doug Christie and his wife, like a reality show about their lives behind the scenes and stuff…I GUARANTEE that would be a huge hit!
August 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
bsteezy3 says:
The Basketball reality show has already been done…like 10+ years ago: HOOP DREAMS
August 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Saku 39 says:
Anything with Isiah.
It would have been great TV to watch the backroom meetings before the Zach trade was made.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Mike says:
Pretty simple idea: Hoop Dreams – the TV show.
Take 3 or 4 high school ballers and follow them around for a year.
The only issue is they would have to spend a year in college/overseas before entering the draft.
Actually, if they would do the show about prospects going overseas (like that Brandon Jennings guy) and show what their experience is like. They could end the show with a live draft day event.
I’d watch either of those shows.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Ansonious says:
After watching what Deshawn Stevenson acting like a twelve year old with that R&B video, I think that guy is a ready made reality show, and just think all you need to do is just add water(or bullshit take your pick.) And Brian Scalabrine please your lucky that your team has the star power to win a championship. Trust me it had nothing to do with you douche bag.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
loganlight says:
I wouldn’t watch:
ANYTHING that headlined Bruce Bowen or Manu Ginobli…
I would watch:
Anything that followed D Wade or Kobe in their work out routine…
What I WANT to watch:
Honestly, I would like to see the stories of players OFF the courts. And not your big name stars. Guys like Udonis Haslem and Dorrell Wright… I want to see what guys do outside of the gym.
There are far too many good guys that I think are absolute pricks because of how they play. So, I say shed some light on the matter.
LL
August 25th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Brado says:
“Where’s the love?” featuring John Amechei. They can have him approach current and past NBA players and pose uncofortable questions.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Michorizo says:
We bring in 20 of Shawn Kemp’s kids for 20 days and every day he can eliminate one. He can do various things with all of them (like go get ice cream, ride bicycles, snort coke, read stories, play sports) and the one he loves least that day, he sends home to with their baby’s mommas. Whoever wins gets all their child support payments paid in full up to the current date.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Ansonious says:
@Michorizo you win that sounds like a hit or at least a good you tube show lol ha ha ha ha
August 25th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Tha Boddy says:
lol @ Brado
How bout a show called Teabaggathon(Pause) staring Shawn Bradley that would be a hit and he would go nuts (pause)hahaha
August 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
doc says:
Pick 20 old teamates from the NBA and tape them as they search the globe for Bison Dele.Call it Lets Find Bison.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Celts Fan says:
nice Doc, at least I’ll have someone to join me in hell for my Carlton Dotson joke last week…
August 25th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
AB_40 says:
the lamest? follow the great former college players of the year adam morrison and jj redick around so they can show other stuff then make money while sitting on the bench as a ‘shooter’.
The best would be putting ron artest and stephen jackson together in a house for 2 months in the middle of las vegas
August 25th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
T Dubbs says:
A “G’s to Gents” NBA edition, with Doug Collins tutoring all the thugs.
August 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Jay G says:
Grab 5 infamous ref haters/hotheads (rodman,madmax,van exel, sprewel, etc) and have a crash course on refereeing and turn em lose. Could you imagine vernon maxwell getting yelled at by someone in the crowd or on the bench?!?!?!?!?!?!
August 25th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
marcus the great says:
yo that Kemp shit had me lol’n at work
August 25th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
VQueezie says:
LOL i couldnt imagine trying to talk to Dikembe while high LMAO..id just laugh the entire time
August 25th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
A-Slam says:
“Too illegit to quit” you get guys like Shawn Kemp, Ralph Sampson, etc. To participate in different Basketball competitions. But here’s the twist, they have to team up with their illegitimate kids and whoever wins doesn’t have to pay child support.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Homeless J says:
Get a camera on Demetrius “Hook” Mitchell as he scours East Oakland for a bag of crack, interviews for Fortune 500 jobs, and operates an ice cream truck in a neighborhood full of children.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
dagwaller says:
Hahahaha, glad that I looked at the link to this page – Dime had it right, doc and Michorizo are going straight to hell.
Keon Clark, Vin Baker, and Charles Barkley ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWQsIGOJACQ ) hang out; intoxication ensues.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
tommy the cat says:
Honestly, you could do some amazing reality-TV stuff with basketball (or any other sport). 24-hour camera access at a summer basketball camp/league would be highly educational. Getting cameras into a basketball-oriented prep “school” for a season would also be amazing. Regrettably, because none of these ideas involve brain-dead games and gimicks (or voting), they’ll never happen, but you could have actual reality, as opposed to the lame, staged “reality” of reality-TV.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
justice says:
follow random older broads that smashed old nba players like magic (no Pun), wilt, kareem etc while they tell their story’s about inside these guys lives, embarrasing bedroom ish etc and get a look into their lives now, and follow new golddiggers coming into the game that a trying to get with nba players as they go to clubs, flash tits etc…
August 25th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Austin Burton says:
I want to see what goes on at those Chinese basketball academies. That could be an interesting/frightening show.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
sans says:
I like Doc’s idea, classic. By the by, a better show would be to have a new illegitimate Kemp show up, but hide the kid in a sea of posers (20 of them) and if Kemp can correctly identify the child he actually created, then all his child support is cleared up. Period. Just get a bunch of groupies, may that he never slept with, and see if he can remember who he crushed and who he didn’t.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
K.i.n.G. says:
Keys to the VIP: NBA edition, i wanna see who got REAL GAME in the club, not on the court lol. Only restricted to nba players who get no air time, so bitches can’t know that dude b in the nba getting that money
August 25th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
daquest?on says:
well this is my idea. u do a real world type reality show with rasheed wallace (playing the role of the oppressed black man) ron artest (playing the role of the clinically insane, imma stab u at any minute,guy) shane battier (playing the role of the weird white/gay guy thats always in the house and really doesnt belong there), Deshawn steveson (playing the role of the dude that always gets drunk and into trouble at the clubs), Brian Scalabrine( playing the role of the annoying white guy, who talks alot but really is a bitch and always ends up crying). U put them in a house at an undisclosed ghetto, and stock pile the house with alcohol and weed, and watch how they react. I would pay to watch that show.Just imagine all of them saying during the intro “this is the story of 6 people picked to live in a house…”
August 25th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
daquest?on says:
5*
August 25th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
rodnets says:
Here is some:
“First Round Busts” A reality showing a top ten pick with all the fuzz and hype that was created in college years and then failing to reach the NBA star level and where did he get and what is he doing now. Sam Bowie owning a car wash cars or selling ties, Derrick Colemans Store, or a forecast of Yi’s Food Palace in a couple of years.
“Pimp my ride” With Stephon, traveling with a Van accross the States with a hidden camera in the hottest springbreak spots..thats it. The soundtrack is Billy Ocean Get Out of my dreams get into my car song.
“The Knick Man Show” A camera following a die hard knicks fan going to matches, in draft day, in friends gatherings being the main focus of mocking and being in the worse place to be.
Peace
August 26th, 2008 at 3:52 am
josh tha roc says:
We got that hole in the wall stupid ish starting over here too……it comes from a mad funny japanese show where they do all kinds of crazy stuff which is dubbed over by some english dudes who dont really have a clue whats going on..its pretty hilarious….. ok what about the ‘Nick Van Exel Work out show’ – you get some highly touted prospects and see who can dog it the most in some important workouts for GM’s (who are unaware of whats going on) and see who can drafted the lowest…then see who can dig them selves out of hole of second round obscurity the best.
August 26th, 2008 at 7:12 am
rodnets says:
The NBA Apprentice. Comish Stern gets groups of 5 GMs actually at work with dubious reputation, 5 Mad Owners and 5 misbehaved players.
All of them get toghether in special training made by stern like adapting to the dress code, moving their team to awkward locations and to select the worse players at the nba mock draft. At the end of each show one of them is fired. Imagine David Stern in a room surrounded by Sir Charles and Mark Cuban saying “You are fired”