CONTEST NOTE: Fellas, one more week to win, check the details of the contest below and enter in the comments section.
I talk a ton of smack on the court. I’ll talk about your momma. I’ll talk about your game (or lack thereof). I’ll talk about what you’re wearing. I’ll say anything to get in your head or to fire up myself or my teammates. Giving you buckets and then letting you know about it is what gets me up in the morning.
Talking trash has never been so easy thanks to the new Reebok ATR Talkin’ Krazy. If you don’t know, here’s the deal: The outer part of the Talkin’ Krazy is made of dry-erase material and the shoes come with a washable pen. The entire body of the sneaker is up for grabs for talking trash. And you can easily erase and change it as you go. The problem is, I need some new material.
In the comments section of this post, drop us the best line of trash talk you’ve ever said on the court. GOTTA KEEP IT CLEAN. We’ll give the best line a free Reebok Gift Bag filled with a Jason Terry-autographed basketball, a pair of Talkin’ Krazy kicks, a $100 Champs Sports gift card, and a 1-Year Dime subscription.
So hit us your best lines. The contest runs from today through the 20th. And if you don’t win, you can still pick up your pair of Talkin’ Krazy kicks at Champs Sports.
Related posts:
October 6th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Rain Dance says:
This past summer this dude was destroying me the entire game and talking a mile a minute. Everytime I shot the ball, the kid would pull out the along came polly and yell out, “Let it rain!” And then laugh at me. The worst part is that I couldn’t talk back because I couldn’t hit crap. I think to start the 2nd half, the kid had like 18 to my 2 and I was like 1 for 9. 2 minutes left, i still had 2 and was like 1 for 15 and everyone on the other team was calling me rain man. But my boys are playing it tough and we’re right down to the wire down 2. no time left and somehow the ball swings to me. I bury the three, run over to the other teams bench, screaming “RAIN DANCE!”
GREAT MEMORY.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:51 am
iain. says:
Christian, be honest are RBK breaking you off for trying to make these ugly kicks relevant?
If i was someone who liked to talk trash about what the other dude is wearing, these would be the first thing i’d rip on. lol..
October 6th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Sambuu says:
i’m one of those “ball don’t lie” guys…
October 6th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Patrick says:
CGF, sorry man but I gotta agree with post 2. These shoes suck and if someone was wearing em you wipe it off with your foot. It’s dry erase marker.
so how much they payin you?
October 6th, 2008 at 9:20 am
GEE...You to old for that! says:
To me worst thing you can do is talk to the teammates of a dude you killing.
Say after you have dropped bout 20 to his 0, finally running back down the court go “Wait, Wait, Wait! Do you all wanna pick over, or want us to drop a man so it will be even, y’all AIN’T NEVA GONE WIN with this dude?!?!” Then before you all start the game back up you gotta keep askin his teammates “Naw I’m for real, or y’all wanna count his shots for like extra points if he make one?” Just keep asking questions to his teammates the whole game lol.
Straight humiliating!
PC I like the shoes, even if you don’t rock em on the court they creative none the less.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:25 am
ER says:
in 9th grade we were up 20 on some team, i got fouled trying to break a trap, and the other team started complaining, and one kid came up to me and said i was a baby or somethin like that, i just said “take a look at the scoreboard, dumb A.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
josh tha roc says:
My favourite was years ago i was playin and a dude from the other team was at the line, so as the guy is about to shoot my brother yells “Shoot it, your open”. The bloke bricked. I still hear people using it round here.
RIP J.L
October 6th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Rob says:
One time last season, against a team we’ve had a rivalry with for seasons, the game was close & was at their gym… this team is real annoying, i mean, it’s basically just a bunch of p*ssies who try to play dirty but start whining everytime you hit/foul them back. i’m a center so this started to piss me off, cause i received a couple cheap fouls. also, their center thought it was funny to make like a cashregister-sound everytime he scored… at the end of the game, my team was up by like 7 points with couple seconds left…our ball, shotclock was running out so our guard had to shoot it, he bricks it, the ball goes out of bounds, i try to save it and just unwind a one armed baseballpass right into my oponent’s crotch…”katsjing”
maybe cheap, but felt fine at the moment, getting the W and that was funny, even his own bench was laughing with him
October 6th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Jkill says:
I was killn this dude and he literally looked like he was about to cry. Every basket i made, i got in his ear and yelled “waaaaaaaah” like a baby.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Coop says:
haha once again CGF and I differ wildly; I can’t stand trash talk, I think it has no place in any game and I think anyone who does that is weak.
Sorry dude
October 6th, 2008 at 10:08 am
PWeezy says:
My good friend and I play for different teams in league ball and one time he thought he had an open lay up but i sprinted down court and spike that ball hard…as we were running back to other end of the court he was like dood you should have let me have that lay up in, my girl was in the stands. I laugh at him and said “all is fair in love and basketball” my team lost by 10 pts in the end and he got the girl i just got the memory LOL
WEEEEZZZY
October 6th, 2008 at 10:12 am
rkirby says:
i like to pull the jordan, tell the comp how i’m gonna score on ‘em: “i’m gonna fake right, go left, and hit this jumper in your eye”. then, i execute and look at the hopeless expression on their face lol
October 6th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Matt says:
I pump faked a guy so bad that I told him to go pick up his jock strap.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:28 am
ryan rhodes says:
right before they shoot say ” dont be a hero” hahaha
October 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am
SWAT says:
Ok this may not be appropriate but my boys and i still laugh about this. We were playing in “Hoop it up” a couple of years ago and this 1 cat was gettin buckets on my boy. The squad’s colors were purple and gold and dude was a major KOBE fan. Now mind you, this was a couple of years ago during Kobe’s trial in colorado and his name was mud everywhere. Well i switched up on D bcuz my shot was dumpster juice that day and i wanted to d his ass up anyway. so i started telling this cat “So how does it feel to support a rapist?” and things like that…really that was the easiest thing i said to him…it got so so much worse. Bottom line i got in dude’s head so much he wanted to box by the end of the game…lol good times. We won but lost in the semis. Still it was worth it.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:44 am
MoxWestCoastRep says:
We were playing this team and the guy I was guarding shot an air ball 3 to start the game. I was in his head bad about it. He didnt get the ball the next few times down and I kept telling him “they know not to give you the ball….they dont want to see an airball again….you might as well go check out cause your team aint giving you the ball”
So homeboy finally gets the ball under the basket, I go for the steal and miss so he has a wide open lay up. Guess what happens next? Our super athletic big man throws his sh*t in the stands!!! It was soooooo hard, the whole gym was ooooohing and aaaaaaahing. I ALMOST felt bad for the dude. Honest to god, he checked out the game picked up his bag and left the gym. Yikes.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Drink the Haterade (KB24 Chip 09) says:
I like to taunt the other coaches… Last year I had my best squad by far. Athletic and smart. My center could jump out of the building and my shooting guard was the smartest kid I had ever coached. So we just start games and play slow for a min, and then boom we’d full court press the other team. We would get steal after steal and my center would be putting in the lay ups.But about the fifth game into the season I saw just how good my two guard was. We started the game with a full court press and every time we got the steal the team we kick it out to him for a three, after about four of these I yelled across the scorers table to the other coach ” You really don’t want to leave that guy open…” You wanna just call it game or do you think your guys could actually play some “D”
October 6th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Tony B says:
Some lines:
-Why don’t we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless so maybe your mother will have a place to stay (taken from White Men Can’t Jump)
-Your defense is offensive
-Get off your knees, ’cause you’re blowing this game.
-Stop shooting! the backboard has feelings too
-Save your breath, you’ll need it to inflate your date later
-You want me to break your ankles so you have an excuse?
And the all time greatest:
-Your mom goes to college (Napoleon Dynamite)
October 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am
x0t says:
talk about my momma? to win a stupid basketball game? symptom of a devolving and infantilizing culture…respect your opponent, respect yourself. but hey I dont mind trash talkers…they get my a game and they usually dont want to see that…kicks are f___ wack too
October 6th, 2008 at 11:43 am
control says:
I was playing in the Hoop it up against Ivan Chiriaev (over hyped potential draft pick a few years ago, 7′2 “point guard”). This was just after he was talking mad smack about joining the NBA and being an elite point guard. There were ALOT of people watching this game, and I had to guard him (my teammates are all 6′). Before the game started he was talking some crazy Russian smack, mixed in with some broken English on how he is going to take it easy on me, etc. I got my girl to fire up my laptop, pair it with my phone and get online to babelfish.
Ivan’s coach him kept yelling at him to back me into the paint and work me inside. After I blocked him twice, and stole the ball once, he turned into Vince Carter and started jacking 20 foot fade aways. He wouldn’t shut up, even though he was 1-7, and now shooting 30 foot jump shots. I subbed off for a second and looked up a few phrases in Russian (my girl being Yugo helped me with pronunciation). He scored twice while I was out, so I came back in and let him know, in Russian, what his mother and I were doing last nite, etc. Before I was done, he was just jacking 30-32ft shots (actually made two).
After we won the game, he wouldn’t look at me, or shake my hand. He started yelling some more crazy Russian stuff as I was walking away. I thought he was going to go Rocky 4 on me, but he had enough people holding him back so he didn’t get hurt. Funny thing was, it was the only game we won, and I think they were probably the best team.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Brown says:
Call me old school, but I let my game do the talking. Sometimes I’m loud, sometimes I’m quiet.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
jonny taise says:
wow. what silly things you guys say to your opponents! these previous ‘trash-talk’ lines are weak!
“don’t be a hero”??!! come on!!!
at least the “shoot it- your open” comment was a little funny!
October 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Celts Fan says:
You really want to use the shoes right? Keep the entire front blank, write on the back of one shoe, “All you’ll see” and “all day” on the other.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
ill Da Grouch says:
Well this isnt what i said to someone but was said to me. it was a tournament n we were playing the host team. we played them a week before n that day i had my dude on lock. well we’re up three about a minute left n my man has the ball. so i figure its time for me to win this game with some lockdown D.
The best thing i can think of to say is ” where are you going, where are you going”
his response
“your moms house” then burns me for an easy lay-up. We lost by four in the end.
But if i had those shoes i’d prolly write
“why r u lookin here, the joke is in ur game”
October 6th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
nick says:
@control
that Ivan Chiriaev kid was always garbage, only reason he ever had a chance to think he could go pro was because he was 7′2 living in canada. I remember watching him play in hs, dude was at least 6 inches taller then the next guy and he was still going like 1-10. But in a hoop it up tourney i would think he would be good, guess not. but not suprised by it.
October 6th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
alex says:
- You can’t score on me! I play D like a G!
sorry thats i got
October 6th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
dh says:
i’ve used this one a couple times, only for the game winning shot though… (i took it from good will hunting)
i ask “do you like apples?”
they answer “huh, what? sure, i guess”
drill the shot and say “how do you like them apples!”
October 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
mfmv19 says:
hey CGF tell the man he’s playin like kobe… COBY KARL!
October 6th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
David Brandon says:
im kinda w/ brown on this one…if i’m not takin you too serious, then i’ma talk at you. but if its real, i’m way more focused and i’ll shut up. lol
October 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
rootsradical says:
trash talking is corny…..unless you guys are in grade 6, the mom jokes aren’t funny. sorry to break it to you.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
QuEsT??? says:
i dont really trash talk unless someone starts talking first. here are some of my lines…. do u want some pancakes? cuz im gonna go Prince on ur ass, u might want to purify urself in the waters of lake minetonka after this.(reference to dave chappelle) U need to see a doctor? Why? To fix ur jumper(the last one was a little lame)
October 6th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
NC says:
Your girlfriend is just like your jumpshot. Ugly.
October 6th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
KAKE JELLY says:
best line everrrrr:
“Blind squirrel finds a nut every once in awhile.”
October 6th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
The saint says:
R.I.P ur jumpshot
October 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
QuEsT??? says:
when im dropping buckets and im on my zone, everytime i make a jump shot i say some random think like computer blue, im hungry or ur mom is ugly, or i would date ur sis and then when running back to defent i keep eye contact with him and do that jordan dumb look like i dont know why i just keep making shots. ive got a lot more but i cant say them cuz u said to keep them clean.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
2 Easy says:
This happened to my boy actually, we were ballin and hes a bigger dude so he was playin d inside and the dude was beastin him and after one jumper dude turns to him and goes, “You a pop tart sweetheart!”
October 6th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
2 Easy says:
whoops forgot to finish, and my boy goes “wats that mean” and dude goes “hard and crusty on the outside but fruit filled on the inside”
October 7th, 2008 at 1:35 am
E Sung says:
When your playing pick up, having fun and playing to have a good time and then random guys get super serious and start talking trash i like throw out this one.. “hey where’s the banner?” reminding guys that their dumb for taking random pick up games so serious.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:46 am
j from la says:
i remember back in high school i used to play everyday at pantera park which is in diamond bar california. the park is mixed in terms of race but everyone can hoop. well one day i was waitin for my next game and these dudes was playin one on one. one dude kept getting ripped and he was asian who drove a rice rocket. i was gettin to him and callin him a turnover waitin to happen because he sucked. he was dribblin the ball off his foot and he was jus sad. i told his ass that he should be an extra in the fast and furious, and that dont step on the court unless u can hoop. dude was ballin in some skin tightlevi’s and air max 95’s the funniest shit ive ever seen on a court.
October 7th, 2008 at 3:35 am
knocks says:
“I’m droppin’ dimes like a Special Ed cashier.”
October 7th, 2008 at 6:43 am
bill says:
the collective lameness of these posts is mind boggling.
i cant believe some of you chumps think those stories are worth sharing
you all sound like morons
shoot it you’re open is the only remotely funny one
October 7th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Jordan Jones says:
“I got more buckets than a walmart with holes in the ceiling”
October 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Jordan Jones says:
In da hood when we’re whooping a dude on the court we’ll say were molesting him, cuz we gettin all up in dat ______!
October 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Jordan Jones says:
In da hood when we’re whooping a dude on the court we’ll say were molesting him, cuz we gettin all up in dat ______!
October 7th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Jordan Jones says:
So then I might say “I’m gettin in dat like Chris Stokes”(B2K) or “I’m gettin in dat like Michael Jackson in Neverland.” and if I’m just draining buckets on a team, i’ll say “Evacuate the court, this is Katrina all over again.”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Danilo says:
“Your dad works at a circus. Your mother drives a truck without using a shirt. ‘Nough said.”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 am
M says:
Not much of a trashtalker but I do let people know if they let me open and I shoot it in their faces. Some Americans called me Nowitzki when he was still considered a winner, I can shoot and run.
Also, I yell “SHOO” if someone is defending me when Im running the break. When I get stealed I ofc pretend I had sneezed.
It sometimes works tho, which should tell you plenty about the opposition Im facing atm.
M.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Spliff 2 My Lou says:
I’m not really that much of a trash talker. I prefer to play entirely silent. I think that it can be quite intimidating when somebody talks trash all game to me but I remain silent with this look on my face like I’m not all there or I’ve done time or something (it helps when you have your arms covered in prison looking tats). Sometimes I mumble to myself like I’m crazy. You wouldnt believe it but it can be quite effective. It doesn’t stop fools from trash talking entirely but they usually stop talking to me.
On a side note, my boy who is a defensive lineman would often throw up while in his 3-point stance during a game. He wouldnt do it on purpose but it would just happen. The offensive lineman wouldn’t want to even touch him much less block him with vomit hanging from his facemask and on his jersey. Not necessarily trash talking but believe me that would shut up the opposition every time.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Jay G says:
You know playing pick up ball you always got dudes with a little game and then he has a “cheerleader”, the homeboy with the pom pom running his mouth. You let em know “you’re garbage and your homeboy is trash…….Ya’ll like some garbage pail kids in here”
October 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Brad says:
Whenever I play a new gym, I always wear shorts with zipped pockets and carry several giant walnuts. After I pull a sick move on multiple players (cross them over and dunk it, etc), I quickly unzip the pockets and pour our 4 giant walnuts on the court and stop the game.
“HOLD THE GAME HOLD THE GAME… somebody dropped their nuts on the floor!”
October 7th, 2008 at 10:59 am
harms says:
The trash talk is worse than kicks and Reebok hasn’t been relevant since the Iverson Question.
I’d rather ball in a pair of Chucks than them BS sneaks.
October 7th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Mrbball says:
I was going to post but this crap is horrible.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Ike says:
After unleashing a steady flow of buckets on all three opponents in a pick up game.. I would continually yell, “I think its hot over here.. wait nope.. right here!” while continuing to wet each j..gets the opponents mad, ur teammates pumped up.. and the crowd laughing
October 7th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
ALF says:
Why does everybody leave this long-ass stories on this bulletin? Follow the Dime rules…”give us your best line” not your most senseless story.
Here’s my line:
“You could build a house with that shot”
October 7th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
jmcglone says:
told my man as he was heading to the line, team down by 4, that the only thing he needed to remember was that
“everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die”
he bricked 1 of 2 and we beat germantown academy –thanks ryan ayers !!
October 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Jeffrey says:
I hit a guy with a crossover so bad, he basically destroyed his knee on the hard concrete. After I scored, I said “It looks like I just ended your career. Oh Well”
October 7th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Billy Sunday says:
playing pick up this dude hit a game winner…..i told him he was lucky and he should buy a lotto ticket
other lines i use
ya’ll jv players
i yell ‘get your wet whipes out’ when i shoot jumpers
if i dunk on someone i tell em they just got baptised
October 7th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Justin Solomon says:
When a dude is bricking pretty bad, I will say “Brick City Mashin”, a reference to a Redman track from like ‘98. For some reason it just sounds better than yelling “Brick!” or speaking about building a house with missed shots. If I am clowing with my boys, I might even make gorilla noises and jump around. Fans of the Funk Doc know what I mean.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Marco Rafael says:
Mine is
“IF YOU CAN READ THIS PLEASE KINDLY PICK YOURSELF UP OFF THE FLOOR”
October 8th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Section says:
1994 playing in a tournament at El Reno Federal Prison. One the players from the prison team said that I thought I was Jordan…my reply “I’m the closest thing to Jordan you will ever see in person”. I wasn’t thinking at the time that I was playing in a Federal prison against the prison team…could have gotten ugly in there. They were cool though and…actually appreciated the trash talk.
October 8th, 2008 at 3:51 am
Three Stacks says:
Marco, you carry signs with you when you play ball or something? Or do you write that across your chest before you start your game?
Mine was:
“Bring your girl over here. I’ll make her wet in front of your face just like that last jumper.”
The girl in question was in the audience, and I yelled it extra loud. She was an acquaintance, she and I had dated briefly, and he was a good friend of mine. Dude gets real sensitive on the court, and threw a ball at my head.
I tried for so long not to mention the fact that I’d slept with her first, but that was just too good of an opportunity. Both of them got UPSET.
October 8th, 2008 at 6:00 am
sans says:
I don’t talk on the court…not anymore. When I was younger, you couldn’t dribble against me, and I would let you know that, being real encouraging, saying “C’mon man, you can do it…i’m pretty sure you’ll make it to the halfcourt line this time…” and ish like that, while ripping a guy four or five times in the first, taking his pride with me. It’s a skill that got me into HS ball. But, at that point I’d stopperd talking. Too many stupid T’s, and my Dad, my coach, yelling at me to shut the f up.
Anyway, I’m playing at River City, outside of Cleveland, and I killed a kid running point. Embarrased him in front of sixty people waiting to play. I can’t shoot; but I stripped him 3 times in the first game for breakaway layups, and caught two passes for reverses, scoring 5 of 7 for my squad. An hour later he makes it back to winners court, and I hit a couple 2’s and my team took his. Third time around, I pulled some ridiculous Dream-ish on him (and at 5′9″ that’s some ish) until I got him to jump completely behind me on my third fake (in one pivot) while I sunk an easy 12 footer. I blew him a kiss and smiled, because, I owned this kid.
He comes dribbling down court, trying to call something out. He directing someone with his off-hand, drawing my attention. I go for the ball. He throws the ball way behind him and suckerpunches me with his closed (right) off hand. Now, out of nowhere, I’m in a fight with a really pissed off kid. It got broken up, and I threw some knees so everyone called me Hood (Boyz in the Hood reference–the fight on the chainlink) for the rest of the summer, but I will never forget the look on the kid’s face, the disdained shock, from when I blew him that kiss. He was my bitch. He knew it. Tried to fight his way out of it, but I owned him that day.
He went home seething about my little white ass. That sucker-punching MF probaly stil hates me.
I hope he reads this.
October 8th, 2008 at 6:02 am
sans says:
I owned you. And was silent about it.
October 8th, 2008 at 7:31 am
SickHopz says:
there was this one time when in high school when we were playing championship game at school and everybody was watching… me and my 2 buddies were seniors and top dogs of the schools varsity team.. there was this one junior who got cocky after making 2 three point shots, so me being the competitor that i was, marked him on d… he was going on fastbreak and i was waiting for him under the basket, he tried to lay it up in my face style but i blocked it nasty(blocked the ball by sticking it against the board and then clipped it). i was like ” kid you still got a lot to it.. i own this court, this school, this crowd and i own you.” the crowd went wild.. then i posterized him the next quarter with two handed in your face dunk, then i did the gun with my hand and took it to his forehead and said ” i still own you……… kid”
i was mean big time…..
October 8th, 2008 at 7:41 am
SickHopz says:
i crossed kid so bad that i told his sister who was also watching to go and tell their mom that his brother just broke his ankle… i then jeered him by saying a prolonged “sorry”…
October 8th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Bron42 AkA Your Moms Best Friend says:
Plain and simple. Gettin a T in a summer league for my lil “they need to bring back slavery, cuz i’m owning your whole team comment. I’am call you toby” Gem. Not only was it retarded since i’m black and he was white, but also since I WAS owning them, and had 26 at half time.
A close second was tearin my backups ACL during practice on a closeout drill (I hated the kid anyway, F’N big headed transfer) off a A.I type crossover. So I get the ball on the wing, He comes up guns blazin choppin his feet and I just give him the basic between the legs and quick front cross over. You’d think he stepped on a land mine. He goes down, I get the open lane to dunk it. I come back hes on the grown holding his knee. As a reflex I get all hyped with some “see, I told you, you couldn’t guard me. Get to the back of the line bitch” to which all he could say was no “no no, there was dust on the floor, omg, omg” To this day he still hears about it on facebook and I’m waitin for my chance to make a sneaker commercial in his likeness if i ever can. NBAtv or nike, gimme a call.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:33 am
JA says:
Dime, u ain’t got no game man. I would cross all ya crew up all’ day long!
October 8th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Celts Fan says:
My first post was how you should actually use the shoes. In terms of trash talking, I like to keep it good natured (I’m a pretty sedate, laid-back person, not looking to turn a fun game of ball into a fight) but I’m a big fan of crossing guys up and hitting ‘em with a, “Gotcha!” as I’m going by them.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Andy says:
I made the mistake of playing a pick up game with a guy about 30 years older than me.
I let him take it out first and give him PLENTY of room. Boom. He hits an open three (we were playing 1s and 2s, so it counted for two points). I start to think, “This guy might not be so bad.” He then tells me that he played college basketball. (NOTE: I didn’t even play in high school.) The fear of getting smoked by a guy 30 years older than me runs through my head. I get the ball and cross him up for an easy bucket. Now that I’m scarred for losing to this Medicare recipient, I decide to get all Gary Payton like on defense. I stop him and he starts complaining that it was a foul. I just laugh it off and hit a three in his face. From here on out, this adult diaper wearer complained the whole time. In the process of laying 13 straight points on this guy he continued to say I didn’t play the “right” way. I retaliated by calling him Bob Cousy, Henry Iba, George Mikan, James Naismith, and every other old school name that came to my mind. Eventually he had enough and was going to leave.
As he’s leaving I ask, “Do you want any cheese to go with that whine?”
October 8th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Marco Rafael says:
“Three Stacks says:
Marco, you carry signs with you when you play ball or something? Or do you write that across your chest before you start your game?”
que?
October 8th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Sam I Am says:
“If it touched rim ; it should’ve gone in”
October 8th, 2008 at 10:49 am
TK says:
Tonight you’re name is Lehman, ’cause you’re going downnnnnnnn.
October 8th, 2008 at 11:01 am
manifest says:
- you gotta pay tuition to guard me son
- i also call big men who play soft or out on the perimeter either Charmin or Q-Tip and start singin “Vivrant thing” or random Qtip verses in their ear while i’m guardin them.
October 8th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Prescott says:
When I am on fire and hitting my 3’s. I like to say 3’s please before it goes in. Or I yell “SHowing H’Town the love they deserve, I call that my NASA shot” And when a guy is really talking noise to me at the end when my team wins I extend my hand and say thanks for coming out tip your waiter on the way out while they are walking to the sidelines. Kills them every time
October 8th, 2008 at 11:36 am
isotope says:
lol @ people making up stories and trying to live out their hoop fantasies at Dime’s expense.
I trash-talk (usually when my game is trash) but it comes naturally and spontaneously.
October 8th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Timmy says:
One of my boys is a little on the hefty side (I swear he would take down Kobayashi) but he can ball.. he was tearing it up a few months back dropping dimes and raining 3 balls from all over.. some fool yelled out ‘yo why are you so fat?’.. he simply looked over at the dude and said ’cause every time I fuck your lady she gives up a little taffi too’.. enough said..
send that subsciption my way dime!
October 8th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Brado says:
I don’t do as much talking as I do ass grabbing! Dudes get distracted easy because most athletes are crazy homophobes. Also, I talk to them about my erectile dysfunction - anything to confuse them and get their mind in “my gutter”!
October 8th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Rico says:
During my high school championship game I was tearing it up - shooting 100% and crowning fools left and right…I started running my mouth sayin things like “I’m the bomb, like vietnam - this is a war you can’t win….bitch!” and “my shot is wet like pickle juice…..bitch!” and “like hammer - you can’t touch this…..bitch!” and “I own you like george bush owns america….bitch!”. It was crazy sick nobody knew how to resond, they were dumbfounded. We won by the way for like 90 points to 23.
October 8th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
wowzers says:
i was jacking 3s like baron davis but making them like reggie miller so this one kid started whining how it wasn’t fair. so i said the following
“*ring ring* hey kid! that was your mom calling, she said to stop borrowing her tampons and get your own!”
kid turned red as a tomato
October 8th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Three Stacks says:
@ Marco
Just wondering how you tell someone to read something while you’re on the court, unless you have a sign prepared.
October 9th, 2008 at 12:20 am
William says:
“What the F.. are those you’re wearing?!”
October 9th, 2008 at 12:53 am
rkirby says:
you dropped something on the court…your dignity…
do you want me to sign the ball for you right noe or after the game?
two of the best i’ve used lls
October 9th, 2008 at 12:54 am
rkirby says:
*now
October 12th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Izzie says:
You’re still frozen in the Ice Age.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
GEE...slide it under the door! says:
One time this dude on my squad had on some wal-mart shorts.
Unfortunately for him, another cat on the other team recognized that they were from Wal-Mart and it went like this.
Before the game.
Opponent: Hey?!? Ain’t them Wal-Mart shorts?
Teammate: (Says nothing trying walk other way ignoring dude)
Opponent: Hell yea! We went to the store and got my lil brotha some of them (laughing hysterically).
Opponent: (To everyone on the court) HEY THIS DUDE GOT ON WAL-MART SHORTS! (Everyone is either laughing or grinning)
Teammate: Man get the $%#$ on dude.
Opponent: Hell naw! (Pointing at his shorts) For real dude you got on Wal-Mart shorts! (following him around pointing at them still and laughing) My lil brotha be rocking them joints!
Finally the game started and during the whooooleee game, dude on the other team was singing repeatedly “Wal-Mart Shorts, Wal-Mart Shorts” Junk became funny as hell.
He would hit a shot on dude and be like “WAL-MART!” or when dude was about to shoot he would yell “Oh no Wal-Mart’s shootin!” Whole game was hard to play cause it was so funny.
So basically find something wack about what your opponents wearing and make that his nickname and clown him the whole game.
Classic.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Sweet English says:
Simple:
‘A’yo son….
Are those Starburys?’
October 14th, 2008 at 10:46 am
loganlight says:
I was playing in our city league last year and SG on the other team was having an awful night. Nothing was falling… and he’s usually pretty decent, just an off night.
After numerous shot attempts and going about 1-12, I was guarding him and said:
“If I let you score, will you go home?”
It was great timing, everyone in the small crowd and even his teammates started to laugh.
LL
October 14th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Sweet English says:
Ha Ha @ logan Light that one killed it
October 14th, 2008 at 10:58 am
shake&bake says:
If I’m going at a guy all game, I’ll tell the guys on his team, while the guy guarding me is close, that they should really consider having someone else guard me because what they’re doing now isn’t working.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Sweet English says:
Shake and Bake, your trash talk is advising the other team on how to play a better defensive set up?
‘Yo guys! you should run a 2-3 Zone to take advantage of your height in the back court!’
You tell ‘em Shake.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Sam I Am says:
LOL last night we went to run ball…and my boys were playin these asian youngn’s…
my boy crossed out the other dude and I just stood up and was like…”DAMN ! He just took your virginity son.”
IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY
October 14th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Sweet English says:
oh and btw, this is some horrible, horrible trash talk.
@ Whoever has said ‘I had the crowd laughing’:
First: Dude, how loud were you shouting for the crowd to hear you? Who hollers trash talk that loud?
Second: They are laughing at your AWFUL attempts at talking trash. I would just laugh at ANY of these posts if someone said them to me. Let your game speak fellas.
Heres a list of some of the worst so far people:
1: Brad, Post 50. What a load of utter BS. No one would have a clue what you were talking about, it sounds like something Flip from Above The Rim would say and you would get LAUGHED off the court for putting that much effort into Trash talk. Are you retarded? Your nuts would literally get stepped on.
2. 2Easy. Post 36 and 37. That may be the LEAST offensive thing that i have EVER heard. Hard and crusty on the outside? what does that even mean? Do they live in Pompey?
3. Izzie. Post 84. What are you, like 12 years old?
4. All the posts where you have CLEARLY made up stories that are way too long.
Sponsored Posts SUCK. Dime, bring your A-Game
October 14th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Sweet English says:
Finally, best trash line ever (From White Men Can’t Jump so i aint taking credit for it, send that subscription to Wesley Snipes Dime.)
‘ A few more bricks like that and we can bulid a homeless shelter for yo mamma.’
October 14th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Sam I Am says:
lol a classic or two…
“I’ma beat you like you stole something”
“The move I’ma pull on you is illegal in 27 states.”
October 14th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Sam I Am says:
lol Sweet English is mean today…
Someone must’ve snatched his soul on the court one day with a block in his face
October 14th, 2008 at 11:28 am
lee says:
I’m English and spend a bit of time out in LA. I managed to drop a guy (which is rare !!) and hit the jump shot.
I just said to him .. “Do you want to sub out for a minute to think about what just happened or are you OK”
One of his team mates hear it and started ripping on his guy .. “Man, you just got trashed by Simon Cowl”
I’ve given up talking trash out in America !!!!
October 14th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Sweet English says:
Sam your not far off i had an AWFUL game last week i was DUD. i went like 1-6 from the field. Worst game this season i just stopped shooting after that.
BUT that aint the reason for any of this anger. My anger is directed towards the straight up bull on this post and Dime getting ever closer to selling out…
October 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Sam I Am says:
@ Sweet English…
ahh sad but true
October 14th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Sweet English says:
Mainly the bulls**t on this Post though.
Dime do a great job, always bring out a sick mag, always on top of ‘ish in the league, and sell like 8 issues for the price of a gallon of fuel. They gotta make money somewhere i suppose.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Drink the Haterade (KB24 Chip 09) says:
IAN Saya “lol @ people making up stories and trying to live out their hoop fantasies at Dime’s expense.”
@ Sweet English you forgot to mention Rico #78… Shooting 100% Just samshing dudes left and right and won the game like 90-23?
If that had happened you would have remembered the score.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
AY says:
one time i was playing with a friend that i knew pretty well and he was really dialed in, just kicking my ass. He was wearing these ugly ass new shoes so i said “Imagine how badly you would be killing me if you were wearing men’s basketball shoes”; it totally threw him off.
After the game he ran over as i was going to my car, and in a hushed voice, asked me “i messed up and bought these online; is it that obvious?” It only hurts if you’re right.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
it ain't easy being green says:
I was playin in a pickup game in the park around the corner from the crib. I was cherrypickin 1 play cuz dude who was shootin had a trash jumpshot. There was 1 sorry man back on D after I got the outlet. I crossed him up real quick ( whitch don’t happen often ) and drove in 4 an uncontested layup. As I did that, dudes shoe actually came off. The court itself is surrounded by a fence. I ran over to him quick as I could, grabbed the shoe and chucked it over the fence. What made it funny was that they were the Jordan 22s soon as they dropped. I said something along the lines of “look at you, all that $$$ on shoes. You should of splurged on better laced…. ……or some D” luckily I knew the dude real well or ida probably got snuffed.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
doc says:
THIS DUDE FORM MY HOOD HAD THIS SEXY SISTER NAMED DANISHA.HE SAID I COULDNT PUT THE BALL IN THE HOLE SO I REPLIED ONLY HOLE I CAN GO IN BETTER IS YA SIS.SO EVERYTIME I PUT THE BALL IN THE HOLE I SAID SOMETHING LIKE.YOU LIKE THAT DA.TAKE IT GIRL.SHIT LIKE THAT.BASICALLY WE ENDED UP FIGHTING AFTER THE GAME BECAUSE I HAD LIKE 40.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Sweet English says:
and it continues…
October 14th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
GEE...you smell that? says:
(Sorry ladies no offense on this one although some will prolly be taken)
One of my favorites is simply calling a dude a girl before the game and during and after.
Specially a dude I might be guardin, when everyone is asking who you got on D? So I point to dude and say I’ll get her. Course they already offended.
So all during game, I’m like calling out stuff dude is doing like he a girl. “She gone pick you on ya left”, “Her shot is off”, “She fouled me” and “It was out on her”
I’m tellin you dudes get heated fa real.
October 14th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
JarrJohnson says:
@ Sweet English
“2. 2Easy. Post 36 and 37. That may be the LEAST offensive thing that i have EVER heard. Hard and crusty on the outside? what does that even mean? Do they live in Pompey?”
LMAO!!
You win!
October 15th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Marco Rafael says:
I actually want those Rbk Shoes especially the all white ones anyway here’s some more…
“CHALLENGE ME, AND YOUR PANTS WILL DO THE OBAMA, YEAH IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE”
“Looks like you have great fashion sense, i saw you wearing the hardwood after i dropped you”
“I crossed you so bad, you knees became your ankles”
“You were set up, i saw your homies calling 911 before i even dribbled”
“I am a Delorean, and your ankles just got sent back in time”
October 15th, 2008 at 1:54 am
house says:
MY JUMPERS LIKE YOUR GIRL……..WET!
October 15th, 2008 at 5:48 am
Sweet English says:
Just to let everyone know, when someone is on the opposite team is wearin these Talkin’ Krappy joints, u don’t need to talk trash.
I actually had a run against a team last night, and two of the guys were wearin the white and red pairs. One guy had CLEARLY spent about half an hour pre game graffiting his team logo and name on the shoe.
Lined up at the Key for a free throw.
Bend. Wipe.
he was GUTTED.
October 15th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
malik says:
Hey Aian, were you not hugged enough as a kid or somethin?????? Reebok has had a tough run but these are sick. Who else is comin up with creative stuff these days. Seriously, go hug someone. You need it.
October 15th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Jerrott says:
come get it.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Sweet English says:
*Few more bricks like that and we can build a homeless shelter for yo MOMMA.
October 16th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Will says:
This means something to me and nobody will understand but , oh well. Back in the day in the Jack (Jackson,MS), we used to smack the board because we couldn’t dunk as shorties. We used to say, “Get up sissy!”, as we smacked the board.Believe me, it was the ultimate form of disrespect!
Ok, now Cat Hunter (Lindsey Hunter/Pistons/JState) used to come through and give people the business regularly.One time , another prominent player who will remain unnamed was trying to guard Cat. Cat was making him dance as he crossed him continually, so he was off balance and dancing, when Cat stopped on a dime and said, “Stand up young n-word” as he dropped the trey ball in his mouth.Dude came back at him, and Cat ripped him,crossed over half court, dropped another trey ball and said “You my b-word!”That’s my b-word!” Just a good trash talk story..
Anyway, any of the following can be heard in the Jack:
“You don’t want this trouble!”
“All Day!”
Here is my entry though:
“Put a can on ‘em!” (Meaning he is garrrrrrbage!)
October 20th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
RICHARD CARPENTER says:
YO MAMA SHINE MY SHOES.
October 21st, 2008 at 7:33 am
Marco Rafael says:
so who won?
October 26th, 2008 at 6:37 am
kevan kardjo says:
When I shoot a 3 you can’t stop me, when I drive to the basket you will get your ass kicked….
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
that's whats up says:
to post 116
I’ve taken shits that were more interesting than you are