Smack / Nov 6, 2008 / 3:50 am

S.T.A.T. Geek

Amare StoudemireAmare Stoudemire, Dime #14

Wednesday was a night of explosions in the NBA. It started in Indiana, where the Pacers were controlling the Suns for about 34 and a half minutes before Amare Stoudemire finally became too much for them to handle. In between punishing every big man the Pacers had to the tune of 41 points through three quarters (we think we saw him dunk on Mark Pope one time), STAT turned into a PG late in the third, twice leading the fast break and dishing out a pair of assists to put Phoenix over the hump. The Suns were pulling away in the fourth when Amare dunked on Jeff Foster so hard that Foster might have lost some hair in the process (the second Biz Markie-ugly dunk Amare had on Foster during the game), and as Amare was giving Foster the cold-as-ice step-over, Travis Diener tried to discreetly give him an elbow to the ribs, but Amare went tumbling into the baseline cameras. Total acting job, and even though Amare was smiling and laughing the entire time, the refs bought it and slapped Diener with a tech that basically ended Indiana’s rally … Later on, with Amare stuck on 49 points (his career-high is 50) and the game out of reach, the Pacers weren’t gonna let him hit the magic number. They intentionally fouled twice in the final 25 seconds and sent other Suns to the line rather than let Amare get the ball one more time. Amare added 11 boards, six assists and five steals to his tally, and all this in a game where Steve Nash (7 pts, 6 asts) was pretty quiet and Shaq (3 pts, 6 rebs) was getting in the way more than anything … (When the Pacers were winning, Troy Murphy was killing. He rained four threes in the first half, but then he all of a sudden lost his range and was missing everything the rest of the way. Air-balls, cringe-worthy bricks, barely catching iron — Troy went from looking like a left-handed Larry Bird to a White Mike Conley in no time) … The second big-time performance came via LeBron James, who gave the Bulls 41 points, nine boards, six assists and four steals. ‘Bron is usually good for an Amare-like overpowering gun show, but last night he was real smooth about his, kissing shots off the glass and sticking fadeaways and circus layups. He was so good, Stu Scott broke the ESPN studio record by saying “ridiculous” 85 times during the night, dropping “sick-nasty” 24 times, and throwing in “re-dunk-ulous” three times. Big night for Stu … And then there was Tony Parker. In a double-OT win over the Wolves, TP scored 55 points (22-for-36 FG’s, 2-for-3 from deep, 9-for-10 FT’s) and handed out 10 assists. That means he was responsible for at least 75 points, plus Parker nailed a buzzer-beater to force the second OT. And you know what it was, too: floaters, layups, mid-range, basically from 18 feet and in, he owned the court. In one night, TP may have ended Randy Foye’s career as a relevant player and destroyed the notion that Corey Brewer is a great defender … And why exactly were the Spurs being taken to two overtimes by the Wolves? It wasn’t just because Al Jefferson (30 pts, 14 rebs) and Mike Miller (25 pts) went nuts. Yesterday we diagnosed San Antonio’s biggest problems during their Manu-less rough start, and what it boils down to is the role players aren’t producing. Last night was a good example. While Roger Mason stepped up and delivered 26 points, it was up to Parker and Tim Duncan (30 pts, 16 rebs) to do everything else. There was a time when a combined 85-point outing from two Spurs meant the team would have won by at least a dub … Still waiting for Allen Iverson to suit up — he was with the Pistons in Toronto, but couldn’t play since Chauncey Billups hadn’t yet had his Nuggets physical — Detroit quietly knocked the Raptors from the ranks of the unbeaten. Tayshaun Prince scored 27 in the win, while Rip Hamilton added 22 … The Hornets also suffered their first loss, at home and at the hands of the Hawks. Josh Smith bolstered his ‘09 Defensive Player of the Year resume, notching 11 boards, three blocks and two steals (plus 11 points) while helping hold the high-octane Hornets to just 79 points. Joe Johnson scored 24 to lead ATL, and Flip Murray was big off the bench with 14 points while taking Mike Bibby’s minutes in some key spots. Dominique Wilkins, doing color for the Hawks broadcast, blurted out after one Flip bucket, “Who said he was a two-guard? He’s a point!” Well, the fact that Flip looks for his own shot every single time he touches the ball is a good indicator that he’s a two, but who are we to argue with ‘Nique? … Speaking of, Kings announcer Jerry Reynolds was talking about O.J. Mayo possibly moving to point guard: “He has all of the skills, but to play point guard you have to, you know, pass the ball sometimes.” O.J. had 28 points and zero dimes in Memphis’ loss, while Kevin Martin gave him a hot 33 and damn near fouled the rookie out in the third quarter … Some of the Dime crew was at MSG for Knicks/Bobcats, which was marked by the crowd booing Larry Brown louder than they used to boo Isiah, an appearance by none other than The G.O.A.T. himself, and — well, do you really care who won? … How did you think Carmelo was gonna play without A.I., without Chauncey, against the Warriors at their place, and after he’d vowed earlier in the day to score 44 in honor of Barack Obama? All things considered, ‘Melo jacking “only” 30 shots was being conservative, and he finished short of his goal (28 pts) in the loss … When did Kenyon Martin get that lip-print tat behind his ear? Is that what’s hot on the streets now? Did Trina have something to do with that? … There were like eight or nine “Play of the Night”-caliber dunks in this one, but Dahntay Jones was outdoing everyone. He threw down a nasty one on Andris Biedrins in the first half, then in the second he got out on the break and tried to make Kelenna Azubuike’s famous, but Kelenna got up and blocked him at the rim. It was the greatest non-dunk since Dwight Howard’s Superman cram, and the best one we’ve seen in a game since Greg Oden tried to bury Jeff Green alive in the ‘07 Final Four … So we finally got to see the Clippers at full strength, and all we know is they’re still not in the same class with the Lakers. Baron, Camby and everyone else was in action (though Camby didn’t play much due to foul trouble), and the Clips hung in there for a while, but eventually got blasted during a 22-0 Lakers run in the fourth quarter. Kobe (27 pts) was giving Cat Mobley severe buckets at will early on, but the decisive run was a result of everyone sticking threes and the bigs dominating the glass. Bynum and Gasol out-boarded Camby and Kaman 28-18. Still waiting for something to convince us that the Lake Show isn’t the team to beat right now … We’re out like the Lakers/Clips “rivalry” …

62 Responses to “S.T.A.T. Geek”

  1. nola says:

    first!

  2. YW says:

    first

  3. sans says:

    STAT saved my fantasy team with that line tonight…

  4. sans says:

    Damn, I gotta stop reading the entire blog before posting, to put down small ridiculous sentiments that everyone says for one small vindicating moment of being first for the first time in their damn lives.

    Alright, FED…so the Hawks do look good right now, but you’re trippin when it comes down to Title Contention.

    On the flip side, maybe the Hornets aren’t as legit as everyone’s been hyping them up to be.

    Oh yeah–Austin Burton, have fun taking your victory lap, putting TP’s name into every “best” list you can think of for the past 2 years. You were right. Frenchy has some legit skills. He’s playing mean, like his wife tripled in size after they said their “I dos” or some ish…oh wait…

  5. Wes says:

    Amare was huge - time to do it every night!

    http://www.squidoo.com/AmareStoudemire

  6. the_don_mega says:

    was Melo trying to honor Woodrow Wilson????

  7. sans says:

    Dime, I am beginning to feel that yall really don’t care about the Jazz at all. I’m not even a fan of theirs, but no mention at all when they beat the Blazers? I know, I know, big nights from Bron, STAT, TP and all but, c’mon, one sentence would be cool.

  8. Atom says:

    “Stu Scott broke the ESPN studio record by saying “ridiculous” 85 times during the night, dropping “sick-nasty” 24 times, and throwing in “re-dunk-ulous” three times. Big night for Stu … ”

    Priceless. Did u catch that stooge singing? I wanted to reach through the T.V. and slap him like his momma.

  9. Gary says:

    how is dwade not getting any love? you see the line he busted last night? isn’t Amare suppose to be concentrating on defense? isn’t LeBron suppose to play like this with all the hype he gets? Parker’s performance is legit, but DAYAM . . . hope your ankles aren’t broken from jumpin off the D-Wagon so damn fast! . . . I’m not even that huge of a fan of DWade, but I respect the game . . c’mon dime . .

  10. solomon says:

    what’s more priceless?

    “Troy went from looking like a left-handed Larry Bird to a White Mike Conley in no time”

    even figuratively, that’d perhaps be the greatest single game drop-off in professional sports history

    we’re out like mayo’s assists stat

  11. smity far away says:

    @ don mega

    “was Melo trying to honor Woodrow Wilson????”

    lol. nice.

  12. F.L.A.S.H. says:

    gotta show some love to chris bosh too, dude was KILLING whoever detroit thew at him in the fourth, too bad for some reason they stopped giving him the ball and ended up losing….

  13. ab_40 says:

    you know why they don’t mention the jazz? because even with deron williams they are borring and they know that with the boozer/okur inside tandem they’ll never win a title. Deron Williams is a killer though and that they’re going undefeated without him this far is preaty impresive but still. And NO has problems with teams that are more athletic then ‘em especialy without ty chandler. How about Beasley outplaying Brand that’s preaty nice although haslem probably guarded brand for most of the night.

  14. Korady says:

    @ The Nique quote

    Maybe it was a pun on the word point, as in “he just scored 2 points” as oppose to a literal meaning of him being a point guard. Just saying

    Oh, and just thought I’d say I played on bigger courts in middle school then this Will Smith/Allen Payne shootout I just saw

  15. sans says:

    Boring and undefeated.

    Yeah, but if Be-Easy was guarding Dalembeast he did an even better job against a player way bigger than him, only allowing 2 pts against the offensively confused Canadian vet. Pretty soon Beastly is gonna tear the Beast off of Sad Sam’s nickname…

    How about Chalmers getting 9 steals tonight?

  16. White Boy says:

    Read the Presidential column where dime is racist….

    123 has a point. Whats up with the racism dime???

    The whole time you backed obama too, and killed mccain or palin.

    Dont mind the backing, but accusing people of lying, then not mentioning when obama lies…

    why the racism???

    here is your boy lying…

    The Chicago Sun reported on May 8, 2008 that FBI records showed that you had a significantly closer relationship with Tony Rezko than what you previously admitted. In the interview, you said that you only saw Mr. Rezko a couple of times a year. The FBI files showed that you saw him weekly While the issue of your relationship is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied
    to America about it.

    i got plenty more dime

  17. Ashlov says:

    In less notable news, Mario Chalmers had 9 steals last night, breaking Tim Hardaway’s record of 8. Sick.

  18. QQ says:

    Melo’s a bitch.

  19. John says:

    No mention for Miami 20 piece on the project semi-finals conference Sixers ? Not even a line ???

  20. s says:

    Amare is THE beast. Those dunks were freakin sick - the defenders may as well have not been there.

  21. yeah yeah says:

    hey dime..Did Dahntay Jones really threw down a nasty one on Andris Biedrins? Or did Biedrins let him go up uncontested and then he threw up a nasty dunk? Seems like dime likes to bend the truth abit here…i remember last week (or so) them bending the story about RJ being pushed by hinrich for some reason…i could go back and find the proof, but whatever..

  22. dagwaller says:

    Nice smack today fellas.

  23. Chaos says:

    STAT was an animal last night. every pacer got baptized in the worse way possible. and why aint d-wade getting love. he was killing everyone in front of him last night

  24. Spliff 2 My Lou says:

    White Boy sounds bitter. Get over it.

  25. rangerjohn says:

    for the record i am not “white boy” still trying to stire the pot

  26. that's whats up says:

    a lotta cry babies bitchin’ this mornin’.
    are you girls drinking cranberry juice too?

    man, TP dropping the double-nickel was sick. Stat killed too. but the facts are those games came against the Pacers and the Wolves, not exactly defensive powerhouses. Nine steals, now that’s sick. When Chalmers was still on the board and Popovich didn’t pick him I almost passed out. regrets

  27. Prof. TX says:

    I finally got my fantasy draft right this year, having Parker and Amare has been so good to my numbers. It’s payback for all the heat I took in my league last year after picking Arenas.

  28. doc says:

    Yeah get over it whiteboy.How lame is blaming dime that your loser ass candidate got his ass handed to him.Tell Mcain to get in a airplane and go crash somewhere.It was videogame numbers all night last night.And until Bron lose 4 out of 7 he is the team to beat.

  29. E$ says:

    Are we still laughing @ the HAWKS?? I like the dunk Amare got late in the game & then got pushed down by the backup PG for the Pacers

  30. BKhoops says:

    Dime I must say I’m disappointed you guys aren’t showing my team and my fav player (D Wade) any love…wassup with that? And they 20 pieced not the wolves or the bobcats…the Sixers!!! C’mon man.

  31. Diego says:

    Yeah, Hawks! Clear-cut wins over the Magic and Hornets on the road; a home win over Philly. Screw you Bill Simmons, punk ass! 3-0.

    Last night Marvin trippling his 3-point production for all of last year in one night! If Flip keeps flipping ‘em in, it’s alright with me. (Bibby is still weak link in team.) Your Fantasy Doc will come around sooner or later re. Flip.

    CP just disappeared in the 4th quarter last night, and Byron Scott was looking down his bench for Pargo, to no avail! Don’t bank on NO winning a chip.

  32. Tom S. says:

    The Bulls have the worst collection of big men in the game and way too many guards. What a dysfunctional team.

  33. K Dizzle says:

    Gotta say I’m pretty happy with the steady beatdowns the Lakers been puttin on all comers. Maybe the Hornets aren’t that bad, maybe the Hawks are just legit now. Good to see. Finally, I don’t know if I’m happier that it took TP’s career game in double overtime to win or that it was the Wolves that actually took em to 2 ots.

  34. Amar says:

    oh yeah dime . . . in other news the Utah Jazz (still w/o deron) beat up on one of everyone’s fav hype teams (portland), with a come from behind victory. down the stretch AK47 was owning Roy, drawing fouls on him on one end, and locking him down on the other for turn overs. the best thing about AK is when he’s doing his job right there’s nothing to show for it on the boxscore. with the game close and blazers looking for a score out of a timeout they couldn’t get the ball to their All-Star because Andrei was on him like old on mccaine.

    it’s okay. you guys will write about the jazz later this season, in that thing called the playoffs.

  35. Amar says:

    @ #24 — no, white boy sounds like a closet racist who wants to dig up trouble because he’s not down with a soul president.

  36. Amar says:

    Dime — don’t hate, Melo is a big woodrow wilson fan too!

  37. White Boy says:

    Explain how dime purposely points out the misprint on Palin website and accuses her of lying (multiple times) and mentions nothing of Obama lies. IF YOU A BASKEBALL WEBSITE STICK TO BASKETBALL. DONT BE POLITICAL.

    Here is another lie.

    In your 1st debate with John McCain, you said that you never said that you would meet with the leaders of Cuba, Venezuela, Iran, and North Korea without “preparations” at lower levels … Joe Biden repeated your words in his debate with Sarah Palin … while the video tape from your debate last February clearly shows that you answered “I would” to the question of meeting with those leaders within 12 months without “any” preconditions. While your judgment about meeting with enemies of the USA without pre-conditions is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America in the debate with McCain.

  38. weezy f says:

    get the fuck over it mccain lost!

  39. Amar says:

    can we keep the political talk to only one thread please? if not, then i’m just going to repost my rebuttal here:

    white boy, what are you trying to get? internal consistency? dime doesn’t report the news, dime is not a newspaper. dime is a magazine. it’s therefore not the news, but opinion.

    do you see dime talking about each of the 30 teams everynight? equally? no. of course not. they talk about the teams/players that interest them. they will write 20+ articles a year about shoes but not many about raptors, or jazz, or kings, or whatever. it’s their call.

    just like their decision to only write about the political p.o.v. that they share.

    you’d have better luck preaching to the choir at “red state ballers” or some mag with that name. it’s not going to happen here.

    life isn’t fair. I’d like dime to talk about the jazz more — but they don’t. you want them to be less subjective over Obama. also not going to happen.

  40. GEE...Big Brotha Almightyyyy! says:

    Houston Up and Obama for yo mama!

    So if you are a chef stick to cooking?
    If you are a thug stick to thuggin?
    If you are a firefighter stick to fighting fires?
    If you are a crack head stick to smokin rocks?
    No, the world can stand to get and be more political.

    There are plenty of other mags that “Get Political” as well, so don’t single out Dime.

    The nation just got political and voted Obama all ova you!

    As far as lying and I aint saying anyone (McCain or Obama) has or has not but, let he who has not ever lied, be the first to cut his computer off for the rest of the day.

    Anyway I am most def. on my wish list of someone scoring 70 or more points this year. Who would have thought that Parker would have been the first to lay it down. Got to give him his.

    Stat should have about 10, 30 or more 45-50 ish games.

    Atlanta Hawks??? What?! Now just think if they had a real coach.

    I said Melo should just concentrate on the win lol. Dummy.

    Oh yea and I need someone to drop 10 threes in a game this year and do it over 50%, forgot to add that to the wish list.

    Ball was just great last night and so far this season. For real this might top last year quickly.

  41. Jim says:

    Yeah, Dime’s 7 million readers were the difference in the election, chump.

    And rangerjohn: we know you have more stones than that, don’t sweat it.

  42. control says:

    STFU White Boy. Go grab a bottle and drink your sorrows away.

  43. weezy f says:

    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=b-yJBsjatW0

  44. that's whats up says:

    I think it’s more like White Power Boy.

    Go cry your tears into one of McCain’s Depends diapers you little bitch. This is for hoops

  45. Amar says:

    probably the best solution to all of this is just to tune out white power ranger boy.

  46. Desrat says:

    Poor White Boy. He is just mad cause Dime got their shit together and got off the Fox network.

    Dime, ya’ll rock. I think it is good of ya’ll to take a stance. Dime is not a political rag, it is for hoops. It would be like asking an uneducated governor to be vice president to ask some basket ball reporters to cover the entire gambit of political reporting. Non of the bigger networks can do that, and Dime does a great job at bringing the NBA reports to us.

    Out like the Neoconservative/bible-thumping collation that was the GOP

  47. Amar says:

    jazz aren’t the top team Dave, but they’ve beaten all of the same teams the lakers have, and both have identical records (4-0). one wonders how good the lakers would be w/o kobe . . .

  48. that's whats up says:

    DIME just needs clarification:
    The Utah Jazz are NOT a WNBA team.

    Now they’ll start mentioning them.

    (sorry, still bitter from the Karl Malone elbow to D-Rob - that was some dirty ish)

  49. parinaz suns says:

    thats scary for the spurs it took that much out of parker for them to win against the t-wolves. their fans are in for one crappy season at least until ginosley gets back.

    STAT for mvp. worst part of living in ny is having the major downgrade of having only the knicks/nets to watch on a regular basis instead of the suns.

  50. Amar says:

    as bad as it is for jazz fans, it must be worse for sactown kings fans, i think the monarchs get more mention here than the kings do.

    Dave — I have no life. i post here from my phone at work all year round. i’m sure that’ll all change when i have kids, but right now no kids, so i have free time.

  51. D.H. says:

    The Jazz are still unbeaten without Deron. Thats something to think about.

  52. Brown says:

    Fuck off White Boy. This is a basketball website, so stick to basketball.

    A career night for Brandan Wright last night - 18 and 13. I hope he keeps it up. We need a big man who can actually play, not useless Al Harrington.

    Bosh was playing like a man posessed. He was destroying every defender the Pistons put on him, then they stopped feeding him. Their perimeter players are stuck in a jump-shot mentality and that killed them at the end of the game.

  53. doc says:

    Yeah Dave because making people who make the most money pay the most taxes is so lame.Complaining wont help because the man you picked LOST.Man up,suck it up,and put your hands together for your new leader.A BLACK MAN!

  54. Amar says:

    david stern is black?

  55. doc says:

    Amar u silly as shit.lol

  56. Carlos Quintana says:

    Yeah, I got on here to see if there was any word on my beloved Jazzerinos. Too bad they’re too boring. Small market and all. Woe is me.

  57. that's whats up says:

    doc…..please don’t read 61

  58. Amar says:

    everyone, please don’t read #61

  59. GEE...Big Brotha Almightyyyy! says:

    It’s to late I read it!!!

    ARRRGHH MY EYESSSS!

  60. w says:

    Dave obviously likes the way everything’s been the past 8 years.

  61. SayItIsntSo says:

    Will people STFU about the Presidential race. McCain lost!! Just shut up and get over it. Forget what race a person is..the Republican party is broken and they need to sit out at least two terms and get their own party together befor they talk about running this country again, period. Bush has screwed this country up on historic proportions. He mess up so bad that he made it hard for a white man to run for President.

    As far as the word “socialism” being thrown around. Go get a mind of your own and quit spouting off talking points that McCain/Palin (two idiots that seem to know nothing about the economy) have given you. All Obama plans on doing is rolling back the Bush tax cuts, thats it! Progressive taxes are always a ridistribution of wealth, its just who you want to ridistruibute the wealth to. McCain himself said that Bushs tax cuts were irresponsible a few years ago (go check YouTube). People crying “socialism” sound like a bunch of damn idiots. You cant cry “socialism” when the government just issued the biggest bailout in the history of our nation (800 billiob dollars) to nationalize the banks under the REPUBLICAN administration, so why the hell are people crying about Obama again? If you dont like socialism, then hand over that SOCIAL security card (and the taxes you get from it)..unemployment is a form of “socialism”, in which thanks to the economy thousands of people need after losing their jobs. You cant expect to keep things the same and have a different result… I guess some of you would rather just have the government continue to sit on their hands (like they’ve been doing), keep all the tax codes the same (that have not been working) and expect a different result? This nation could be a second world country in a few years the way we are going. People need to use some commen sense..we are in two wars, in debt with other countries (along with ourselves) and have tons of things to pay for. Who do people think is going to pay for all this? Give me a break. Peoples taxes are going to get raised because we have been put in a situation in which we have no choice. McCain planned on doubling down on the same Bush tax cuts..thats retarded! The last time there had been that much money being redistributed to the upper 1% of the nation was during the great depression..yet this fool wants to double down on the same tax cuts that contributed to this mess…he would have driven us strait off a cliff. And you people are mad at Obama? GTFOH!

    Seriously, enough already with this nonsense. My parents will be in the tax range in which Obama plans on rolling back the tax cuts on, and they could care less. Some of you people kill me having a damn caniption fit over a funky 3% tax raise. The main people complaining probably dont even make enough money to even be effected, will probably benefit off his tax cuts. Damn, im tired of hearing about this mess. This has nothing to do with race, Obama was not responsible for this mess..all he did was run for the Presidency..Bush is the one who got this country into this and Obama is trying to begin to get us out the best way he can…Thats it, if you want to be mad at anyone..BE MAD AT BUSH!! Im sure Warren Buffet and all these other top economic advisers (along with magazines like the Economist and the Financial Times) would not endorse a “socialist”.

    And by the way..there is no other state that benefits more from “socialistic activities” then Alaska. When Alaska taxes the “big bad” oil companies, Its governer gives a $1000+ check to all its citizens. Who is the Governer of Alaska? Oh thats right..Sarah Palin is, imagine that. She was also quoted saying that she likes to “Spread the Wealth” when need be. Now I dont want to call her or McCain HYPOCRITES..but that word does seem to be floating around now doesnt it?

    Oh yeah..and Amare is a BEAST :)

  62. that's whats up says:

    is 800 billiob a lot of monbey???

    lmfao !!!!!!

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