Who’s the President of the NBA?
That’s Mr. Bryant to youWith the election over with and Barack Obama already deciding who he wants in his cabinet, we were talking in the office today about who we’d elect as the President of the NBA.
While there were some obvious choices thrown out there (MJ, Magic and Bird), we decided to keep it current. And remember all you Euro-fiends, you have to be born on American soil.
President – Kobe Bryant
For the reigning MVP, the public approval ratings are high. With 55 electoral votes, winning the home crowd in California (where Kobe is equal to God) should be easy and allow him to focus on his campaign elsewhere.
Vice President – LeBron James
Sure the kid is young, but he has a global reach and a huge fan base. While he’s probably not ready to assume the role of Commander In Chief just yet, LeBron would make a great VP as he learns his role from the best in the League.
Secretary of Agriculture – Josh Howard
No explanation needed here. J-Ho has made it perfectly clear he knows what he’s doing when it comes to agriculture.
Secretary of the Interior – Shaquille O’Neal
When it comes to clogging up the paint, Shaq does it better than anyone. Of all the players in the League, you won’t find a guy who spends more time in the key.
Secretary of Justice – Ron Artest
After asking the NBA to review his preemptive technical foul the other night, Artest is taking a much more cordial approach to the League this year. If anyone has a bad rap it’s Ron-Ron, and he’s just looking for a little bit of justice.
Secretary of Defense – Dwight Howard
Although KG is the reigning Defensive Player of the Year, Dwight Howard is a beast. Averaging an NBA-best 14.5 boards and ridiculous 4.5 blocks per game, Superman gets it done.
Secretary of Energy – Nate Robinson
Playing the Leandro Barbosa-role in Mike D’Antoni’s system, Nate-Rob is frenetic on the court – always ready to come in off the bench and yoke on somebody.
Secretary of the Treasury – Bruce Bowen
I hate to say it, but with our current economic woes, we need someone who can handle the role when money is tight. Of everybody in the League, when I think of stingy, I think of Bruce.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs – Sam Cassell
With three rings under his belt, and the term “Assistant Coach” always being thrown around for the future, Sam I Am is perfect for this role.
Who would you say best fits these roles?
November 5th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
GEE...Oooh I can't believe it! says:
Foreign Affairs – Yao Ming
November 5th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
JDigiac says:
Good call considering they said gotta be born on American soil. So why not Tim Duncan for Foreign Affairs? Virgin Islands are US Soil correct? He’s got Tony Parker from France, Manu from Argentina, and plenty of other foreign players. He’s the right fit.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Homeless J says:
Wasn’t Kobe born and raised partially in Italy with his dad?
November 5th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
jason says:
chief of staff-gilbert arenas, to keep everyone loose
November 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
weezy f says:
luke ridnour for president!
November 5th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Drink the Haterade (KB24 Chip 09) says:
Kobe was born in America and lived in Italy
Kobe Bryant was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
November 5th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Haqq says:
President – Sam Mitchell…
We need a LEADER!
November 5th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
dagwaller says:
Secretary of D might be J Smoove by the end of the year.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Amar says:
First Lady — Sasha Vujačić
November 5th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Homeless J says:
My mistake. thanks for the correction.
How about Stephen Jackson for Secretary of the ATF (Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco)
November 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
E$ says:
Kobe is the Bill Clinton of the NBA….
November 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Homeless J says:
fuck. alcohol tobacco and firearms.
People, please feed the homeless. Their minds need the fuel.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
ratattack says:
president needs to be a killer speaker, so Lebron and Kobe are out lol
November 5th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
KT says:
LeBron is president. He is the chosen one. Eddy Curry is the oval office.
November 5th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Big T says:
@weezy
Luke Ridnour doesn’t fit into Aron’s scope on this post… he’s the wrong color.
November 5th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Drink the Haterade (KB24 Chip 09) says:
Big T–you must be racist… Only you could pull that out of the article. Nowhere in the article does it state you have to be black. If this was done in Magic’s Prime, then Larry would have been VP
November 5th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Spoiled says:
Marbury – Oval Public Relation…
November 5th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
123 says:
Big T’s gota point. Only time white players are mentioned on this site is as the butt of a joke, or when dudes start bitching about AI not being on the Redeem Team.
I’m starting to not feel very welcome here anymore.
November 5th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
weezy f says:
didnt mean to start a race war..just picked the weakest player i know haha
November 5th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Aron says:
@JT
“Eddy Curry is the oval office.” That’s hilarious!
November 5th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Big Shot BOB says:
Good 123 cause were tired of you being here…LOL
November 5th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
123 says:
Some points to back up my feelings:
1. This morning in the big Obama article someone said they cried like a bitch, but had hoped to scream loudly to piss off his white neighbors.
2. The whole David Lee will have friends if the Knicks trade for TMurph and Diener thing.
3. Someone calling Adam Morrison a ‘typical white boy player.’
4. Oscar de la Hinrich
5. Out of nowhere wondering why Hinrich and Ridnour were possibilities for Redeem Team when AI wasn’t.
6. The article lamenting the absence of Jason Richardson on Tv..and then mentioning that there were many Big 10 games on that featured Krabbenhoft, Diedler, and Rob Hummel..oddly enough all 3 are white players.
November 5th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Ross says:
Isiah Thomas for President. He’d get us out of this financial crisis.
November 5th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
jackass says:
first lady, oval office???? lol
November 5th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
N-Truh-Kit says:
why not CP3 for president? kobe doesn’t really “run” the offense of his team whereas CP3 does. i completely understand the reasoning for picking kobe and i’m not saying it’s a bad pick at all, but if we’re goin by strictly basketball terms i think a case could be made for Mr. Paul. jus my 2 cents
November 5th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Amar says:
one good reason why CP3 can’t be president . . . because Andrei will get Deron to be the head of Russia, and then we’d all be in deep shit because CP can’t stop Deron — if you’ve been following their head to head then you know this is true.
that’s why the pres has to be kobe. because i don’t wanna fucking learn russian.
November 5th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
N-Truh-Kit says:
haha
that’s assuming Deron would listen to Andrei, in which case i’d question D-Will’s mind set as well for listening to A GROWN ASS MAN who is known to throw temper tantrums.
and yes it’s true CP doesn’t have his best days against D-Will but itz not like CP doesn’t get his stats as well
November 5th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Gerard says:
Tell Kobe good luck campaigning in Colorado
November 6th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Amar says:
which coddled NBA star doesn’t have tantrums? like kobe ratting to the cops on Shaq, or telling people that he wants bynum traded on video during the off-season?
as far as CP getting his stats vs. deron — you mean like that game where he had 6 points? nice stats CP.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:36 am
William See says:
Donaghy for games and amusements board.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:25 am
ThisGuy says:
Sure Kobe would get Cali votes, but dont forget that Ohio, Pennsylvania and Colorado were among the “swing” states. Gotta imagine, Lebron would dominate Ohio. Kobe never got much love in Pennsylvanie, despite it being his home (im sure we all remember the boos). And I hate to drag it up for the millionth time, but I cant exaclty picture a lot of love from Colorado.
Well atleast this president would have already gotten his sex scandal out of the way.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:51 am
White Boy says:
123 has a point. Whats up with the racism dime???
The whole time you backed obama too, and killed mccain or palin.
Dont mind the backing, but accusing people of lying, then not mentioning when obama lies…
why the racism???
here is your boy lying…
The Chicago Sun reported on May 8, 2008 that FBI records showed that you had a significantly closer relationship with Tony Rezko than what you previously admitted. In the interview, you said that you only saw Mr. Rezko a couple of times a year. The FBI files showed that you saw him weekly While the issue of your relationship is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied
to America about it.
i got plenty more dime.
November 6th, 2008 at 6:56 am
JOROSS GONZALES says:
How about Kwame Brown for President?
November 6th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Kudabeen says:
Again people Racism and Prejudice are to different things.
Racism implies Racial Superiority…
Prejudice is Preference in relation to ones own Race/Cultural identity…
As far as mentioning White players in a post where people are going to pull for the most popular/talented players in the game. If you take the top 50 players in the league now, which white players crack that list? Unless you are claiming Argentinians, Spanish, German, etc players as white who would you pick of the top of your head? I have David Lee, Kirk, Nash, and after that I can’t come up with any off the top…
People are so quick to toss around the word Racism (Black and White) and they don’t even know what it means…
I do agree that white ball players are used as the butt of jokes, but I do remember glowing features on David Lee, Kirk Hinrich (when he was balling), JJ Redick was getting love. Kevin Love was getting love, Kaman when he was balling was getting love, Kapono was praised as he stroked up the league the past 3 years…it happens, but what white player should Dime be talking about in terms of popularity on the same level as:
Kobe, LeBron, CP3, Bosh, AI, Wade, McGrady, Baron, KG, Pierce, Dwight, Deron, Shaq, Rose, etc…
White players aren’t the only ones that get picked on…Eddy Curry catches it more than any white player…I don’t see it. Just saying call it what it is in the moment, don’t save up examples and then bundle them all together…Doesn’t help.
This is a BBall Blog. Most contents are in the context of BBall…If you are preceived as weak, lazy, over praised for unjustifiable reasons, people are going to call you out and cut on you…Ridnour couldn’t even start on his own team, but he was offered an Olympic tryout? Justify that? Forget Iverson, there are plenty of better ball handler/distributors in the league that were better, but why did luke get a look? Kirk Hinrich in my eyes is legit. He is the only player in the league that I’ve witnessed give guys like Wade a Problem defensively and on offense he holds his own.
I don’t see it, so I would say elaborate or call it what it is in the moment. Was the Olympic selection committee racist then?
Call it out in the moment is all I’m saying…If it was the reverse some would say we are just playing the race card and complaining…You could always take solace in the fact that the best players are black, but those cutting the check are white if you really want to racialize BBall hierarchy and fandom.
I guess I just don’t understand…
November 6th, 2008 at 10:31 am
White Boy says:
Explain how dime purposely points out the misprint on Palin website and accuses her of lying (multiple times) and mentions nothing of Obama lies. IF YOU A BASKEBALL WEBSITE STICK TO BASKETBALL. DONT BE POLITICAL.
Here is another lie.
In your 1st debate with John McCain, you said that you never said that you would meet with the leaders of Cuba, Venezuela, Iran, and North Korea without “preparations” at lower levels … Joe Biden repeated your words in his debate with Sarah Palin … while the video tape from your debate last February clearly shows that you answered “I would” to the question of meeting with those leaders within 12 months without “any” preconditions. While your judgment about meeting with enemies of the USA without pre-conditions is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America in the debate with McCain.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Amar says:
white boy, what are you trying to get? internal consistency? dime doesn’t report the news, dime is not a newspaper. dime is a magazine. it’s therefore not the news, but opinion.
do you see dime talking about each of the 30 teams everynight? equally? no. of course not. they talk about the teams/players that interest them. they will write 20+ articles a year about shoes but not many about raptors, or jazz, or kings, or whatever. it’s their call.
just like their decision to only write about the political p.o.v. that they share.
you’d have better luck preaching to the choir at “red state ballers” or some mag with that name. it’s not going to happen here.
life isn’t fair. I’d like dime to talk about the jazz more — but they don’t. you want them to be less subjective over Obama. also not going to happen.