Secondhand Lions
Paul Pierce, Dime #5While the NFL took care of its playoff positioning and wrapped up its regular season on Sunday, the NBA had its own football theme going. For starters, the Celtics made the Kings look like the Detroit Lions, running through them like fresh prison fish in a 108-63 clinic. If you wanted to sum up Boston’s early-season success over the course of just one game, all you needed to do was watch what they did yesterday: Kevin Garnett (21 pts, 11 rebs) torturing Mikki Moore on the block; Paul Pierce scoring at will against John Salmons; Ray Allen dialed in and hardly missing anything (19 pts, 7-for-8 FG’s); Rajon Rondo and KG showing on multiple occasions why they might be the League’s best alley-oop combo; the role players (Powe, House, T-Allen, etc.) doing their damage when called upon; and the defense not allowing anything (Kings shot 28% FGA)… What crime against basketball did Shelden Williams commit that he can barely sniff the court even when his team is getting 40-pieced? Meanwhile, Doc Rivers decided to taunt karma by having the Big Three in the game late in the second half despite the lopsided score. Fortunately for him, no one got hurt … The Maloofs and Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson honored Michael Phelps during the game. Phelps must be on some kind of “40 Games in 40 Nights” tour, ’cause we’ve already seen him more than Craig Sager this year … Staying with the football theme, Carmelo returned to the scene of the NBA’s most infamous backpedal, suiting up against the Knicks at MSG. Without the distraction of Mardy Collins‘ oh-so-slap-able face, ‘Melo focused long enough to drop 32 points in a win. Simply put, not a single player on New York’s roster could check ‘Melo 1-on-1, and whatever alternative defenses they threw at him were rendered useless … The “A” and “B” to Carmelo’s 2003 Draft class “C” (or “D” defending on how you feel about Chris Bosh) went head-to-head yesterday, with LeBron posting 33 points and nine dimes to D-Wade‘s 29 and eight, and the Cavs running their home record to 16-0. ‘Bron and Wade are two of the few players in the League who can drop jaws with layups instead of dunks; check the reverse LeBron made in the first quarter that was reminiscent of Dwight Howard‘s first dunk from the ’08 Dunk Contest, where almost his entire body was behind the backboard …
Kobe Bryant (photo. Chris Sembrot)The Lakers hung 130 points on the Warriors, who apparently forgot everything they did right defensively against the Celtics the other night and just got reamed. While the Warriors did prevent Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol from having career games — which opposing big men usually do against GS — this time they let the Lakers’ backcourt take target practice. Kobe scored 31, Derek Fisher had 19, and Sasha Vujacic added 17 … We know GS is in bad shape and has some significant injuries, but since when did Nellie decide a large portion of his offensive game plan should revolve around force-feeding Andris Biedrins in the post? Bad enough that Biedrins (8 pts, 17 rebs) struggles to even catch the ball, let alone go 1-on-4 against L.A.’s zone, but he has hardly any post moves and won’t even hit his free throws if he gets sent to the line … Of course the Pacers had a decent lead at halftime against the Hornets, and of course they ended up taking the L. Tied up in the final seconds, Chris Paul (19 pts, 12 asts, 3 stls) dribbled all over the place — much more entertaining then watching somebody slow-dribble the clock down to three seconds before making a move — and finally drew a double team along the baseline that allowed him to hit David West for a 17-footer on the wing with 2.5 remaining for the game-winner. Out of timeouts, all Indy could get was a half-court heave from Jarrett Jack that had no chance. Troy Murphy gets the Rasheed Wallace-Leaving-Robert Horry-Open Memorial Goat Award for chasing CP and leaving West open in one of the few places you CANNOT leave him open … In the aftermath of Sunday’s NFL games, we’re kind of interested to see where ESPN will go from here. Without T.O., Pacman, Romo, Chad Johnson or Brett Favre to talk about, will they have to resort to showing actual highlights? … We’re out like the Cowboys …
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December 29th, 2008 at 5:39 am
Duke says:
Way to go Cowboys!
December 29th, 2008 at 5:43 am
BRUCE says:
Way to go Lions!……..MEOW!!!
December 29th, 2008 at 5:43 am
Coon Guy says:
niggers
December 29th, 2008 at 5:49 am
UncheckedAggression says:
The Celtics dominated, but I wouldn’t say that PP was scoring at will on Salmons. In fact, there have been lots of nights this year that Pierce has had trouble getting the ball in the hole. On the other hand, every shot that Shuttlesworth takes looks like it’s going in. He and Garnett went 17 for 19!
December 29th, 2008 at 6:03 am
Coon Guy says:
monkeys
December 29th, 2008 at 6:04 am
P says:
Eagles got it done….After the Lakers don’t think its that much seperation btw teams in the west…
December 29th, 2008 at 6:08 am
K Dizzle says:
lol @ “Without T.O., Pacman, Romo, Chad Johnson or Brett Favre to talk about, will they have to resort to showing actual highlights? ”
on a side note, I’m gonna pretend to be classy so please remove post # 3
thank you
December 29th, 2008 at 6:26 am
My 2 Cents says:
Way to go Jets!!!
December 29th, 2008 at 6:28 am
YOUNGFED....I used to have that work"..."Naw Just kidding"..."Or maybe not?" says:
0-16 What Nukka What!!!!
DETROIT ALL DAY!!!!…….still
YOUNGFED BANGER OF THE DAY: Lil Wayne “My N*gga”
http://www.thefader.com/articles/2008/8/13/freeload-who-is-kidd-kidd
December 29th, 2008 at 6:32 am
Hi, Jurg from Denmark says:
well hi from jurg today.
and thank you to dime for another fantastic copy of smack today. so much funny things.
and please a question to mr austin burton. many times when jurgo came to dimemag.com there was some good video like with mr corey maggente in his fast yellow car and big house. and i see one with mr richard jefferson where he play snooker and i can imagine give his boner to some girls in his apartment. or some men because not to sure with jefferson when he talks. like vladamir bolcic. my friend and he has a birthday on new year day and it will be glamarous. and hi hi to vlade.
and my question is please is this videos still on dimemag.com. because not in video link.
and to person at number 3, you are racist and i don’t like you. and now you know.
this has been your jurg from denmark. hi.
December 29th, 2008 at 6:55 am
jayslay says:
#3-????wtf?????
way to go cowboys…they have reminded everyone that u cant buy happiness lol….
the celtic game was an embarrassment for the queens…and the coach must like candise parker so he not gon play sheldin wiliams…..that will show her…lol
December 29th, 2008 at 7:06 am
sans says:
it will be a crime against humanity if Shelden ever creates a kid with Candace. On another note, I had no idea Anthony Parker was Candace’s brother. How often do you think he got lit up by his sister in the backyard?
December 29th, 2008 at 7:16 am
chiaki says:
i think coon guy have some personal issues..
December 29th, 2008 at 8:20 am
QQ says:
Celtics were taking out their frustrations by destroying the hapless Kings. Cold blooded.
And, pretty good Week 17 action in the NFL.
I’m picking the Vikings to win it all.
December 29th, 2008 at 8:27 am
that's whats up says:
Spurs are leading their division and have the 5th best record in the League.
What can you say now?
December 29th, 2008 at 8:45 am
smity far away says:
“whatever alternative defenses they threw at him were rendered useless”
i got confused when i read that cause i thought you all were talking about Dantoni’s knicks at first…
December 29th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Optimus Prizime says:
and i see one with mr richard jefferson where he play snooker and i can imagine give his boner to some girls in his apartment. or some men because not to sure with jefferson when he talks. like vladamir bolcic.
Bahahahahahaha maybe the funniest comment I’ve ever seen. And who the hell is Vladamir Bolocic?
December 29th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Kudabeen says:
sans:
I’m go with zero times Anthony Parker got lit up by Baby Sis…It is crazy they are are both almost the same height though…Any If Sheldon spawns with Candace…Damn that…The fact that it is a possibility for him to I’m sure eases a lot of his frustration of not playing…
Chris Paul’s pass to D West to win was one of the sickest and most improbable passes I’ve ever seen…They were both on the base line and CP3 was doubled in the corner and he made this side bounce back past to West. He had to put some serious english on the ball to get it to him…Just nasty…
December 29th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Tbone says:
20 bucks says “Coon Guy” is just Richard Wellner, posting once again, just under a different name.
I knew he wouldn’t be gone for long
December 29th, 2008 at 10:12 am
On the Rize says:
Haha. Paul Pierce goes 3-11 and Dime calls it “scoring at will” and puts up a picture of him at the top of the page. With press coverage like that, no wonder his head’s all swoll and he thinks he’s the best player in the league.
December 29th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Patrick says:
Does anyone else hope that Jurg is really Tyrone?
December 29th, 2008 at 10:18 am
vinny says:
as a jets and knicks fan can i plese have a moment of silence!! WTF!!
December 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am
vinny says:
i have to agree with Tbone- i think thats dick to!
December 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am
jl90 says:
yo sactown was getting beaten so bad the lakers announcers were making fun of it during their game.
best part of the sacramento-boston game was where they cut to kevin martin on the bench and he looked completely blank.
December 29th, 2008 at 10:24 am
that's whats up says:
haha at Patrick – post 21.
True Danes Never Lie.
December 29th, 2008 at 10:35 am
BROGDEN says:
If anyone was scoring at will, it was KG or Ray (but you mentioned him)
Scored at will?
“At Will” is being used TOO loosely Smack!
Way too loose…
December 29th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Chaos says:
As a redskins fan, i thoroughly enjoyed the asskicking that the cowboys got. it was christmas all over again. like watching quinton “rampage” jackson knockout wanderlei silva
if anyone missed the heat-cavs game missed out on one of the best games of the day
December 29th, 2008 at 11:37 am
JCARR says:
Go Giants!
December 29th, 2008 at 11:38 am
MSkittle says:
Shelden Williams’ crime= Marrying Candace Parker
December 29th, 2008 at 11:48 am
BROGDEN says:
MO and DELONTE = LEBRON’S BEST FRIENDS NOW
Crazy! 3 of my fave players on the same squad…THE BASKETBALL GODS LOVE ME.
Saw that game Chaos, it’s obvious Lebron’s got two guards he trusts in crucial junctures of the game. Obvious.
Mo keeps the banger in the tuck. Delonte, ice water in his veins.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
GEE...Now yo party wasn't jumpin and yo dj was weak! says:
Houston Up!
Can any team really beat Boston in a 7 game series?
I’m feeling like you got to do some goonish activity to get KG or Paul ejected.
I feel like LeBron is really trying to get Clev. a championship so he will feel better once he leaves. Sort of a hey I did my part now you all can’t say nothin when I’m out.
Detroit just ain’t what they used to be.
Atlanta has all the tools to do it….except a coach. Kill the head and the body will die. Atl’s head is already dead.
Out West
While other teams seek a Championship, Houston just wants that first round. If and when Houston gets out that first round, it’s gonna be a lot of babies being made in Houston on that fateful night.
Lakers really want it, but no one on the team seems to match Kobe in confidence, and you have to think another vanishing act will take place from either Pau or Odom at a critical moment, thus resultin in Kobe callin it a night on the last game so critics can continually go nuts.
Are the Suns the Atl. of West? All the tools but coaching the weakness. Time and foul trouble will reveal all with them.
The Nuggs have hope but then too they have George Karl…enough said.
San An, is what Detroit wants to be. That old team that can get it done. Only diff. is that San. An. can actually get it done. Everyone knows they got the formula but Manu has to be the real question mark.
Utah great team that will pick and roll themselves to a playoff spot and leaving as usual. I know people don’t want to face this uncomfy truth, but it’s time for a new system or new coach.
Portland needs homecourt, but still they can match any team, and have all their bases covered. If you have a team in the West pray they don’t get Portland.
Commence!
December 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
BxBaller says:
Jets CHOKED, and Mangini is out of a job. http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80dbc8c8&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true
The Knicks are a joke. They have no go to guy to close out games. At least when Crawford & Z-Bo were their, you knew one of those guys could possibly get you a bucket or go the foul line, but now who do they have? As much as I like Nate, he’s not a guy who should taking as many shots as he did in the 4th yesterday. If only the Knicks had a former all-star on their roster somewhere….
December 30th, 2008 at 12:54 am
doc says:
How about them Eagles.Ant Parker will bust that bitch Candace ass just like Sheldon do on a nightly basis.