Fantasy Basketball
Brandon Roy, Dime #24Playing against the Warriors is like being a kid in the driveway (or the playground, or on that telephone-pole plastic crate, etc.), pretending to be your basketball idol. As the Blazers rained a barrage of buckets on Golden State’s stop-and-stare defense last night, Steve Blake was looking like Steve Nash (crossovers, fake passes into layups, automatic threes), Rudy Fernandez looked like a hybrid Drazen/Manu, Nic Batum flashed his Young Grant Hill, LaMarcus Aldridge resembled Young Rasheed (LA was even rocking the headband, the first time we’ve noticed him doing that), and Travis Outlaw looked like what Darius Miles was supposed to be; less real-life version and more The Perfect Score version. As for Brandon Roy — making his return after missing a week or so with a hamstring injury — he kind of low-keyed it, going Steve Smith-style (19 pts, 6 rebs, 5 asts) before flipping through the MJ playbook for a second. In the fourth quarter, B-Roy caught an inbounds alley-oop where he skied like Mike in Game 1 of the ’92 Finals. Portland fans know what play we’re taking about … Don’t leave the Warriors out, though. Corey Maggette (25 pts) had his Juwanna Mann-in-the-first-hour game working; every time you looked up, he was shooting the ball … Can you tell most of the Warriors hate playing with each other? Midway through the fourth, Jamal Crawford found Ronny Turiaf underneath for a dunk that cut Portland’s lead to eight. After the Blazers called timeout, no one so much as looked at Ronny as he ran toward the bench. He ended up yelling “HEY! HEY! HEY!” at everyone and making them give him dap on their way to the huddle. Man, such chemistry with this group, and it’s only gonna get better when Monta Ellis comes back and not only needs his 15-18 shots a game, but will also have some teammates still bitter at him for sinking Golden State’s season before it ever started … A few minutes after the Turiaf play, the Warriors had cut the lead to five. LaMarcus (26 pts, 7 rebs, 5 asts) decided he wanted to be Tim Duncan instead of ‘Sheed, breaking out some joystick moves on Turiaf but air-balling a hook shot. Golden opportunity for the Warriors to make a move, but of course Crawford comes down, doesn’t pass to anybody and jacks a fadeaway, which turns into B-Roy getting an and-one on the other end. That was pretty much your ballgame … The Pistons apparently got caught in a letdown game. After Friday’s emotional down-to-the-wire win over the Nuggets, last night they seemed flat in Utah. Allen Iverson struggled (4-13 FG’s), newly-healthy ‘Sheed was quiet (8 pts), and even Tayshaun Prince and Rodney Stuckey — Detroit’s best players over the last couple weeks — weren’t anything to write home about … The Jazz didn’t have nearly as tough a time as they did in that double-OT thriller earlier this season; this time they picked Detroit apart inside and out in one of those typical games you see when a team is on the last day of a cross-country road trip …
Tracy McGrady (photo. Marc Morrison)No joke, the Rockets should really consider doing with T-Mac what Phoenix does with Shaq: sitting out one-half of their back-to-backs, even taking some nights off against sorry opponents here and there. After McGrady scored 26 on the Thunder on Friday, Houston didn’t need him (or Ron Artest) last night with the Knicks in town. After all, why risk Mac getting hurt chasing Wilson Chandler around and avoiding collisions with an out-of-control Baby Diesel Nate Robinson? … Did you see the play where Al Harrington put up a shot in the lane that took an ugly bounce off the glass and somehow ended up (almost) looking like a planned alley-oop for David Lee to finish? Fitting that the only time Harrington picks up an assist is when he’s really trying to shoot … Kevin McHale got ejected in the first quarter of Wolves/Bucks — nothing to be ashamed about; we couldn’t make it through much of the game either — and Minnesota still pulled out the win. We’ll let you draw your own conclusions there … Speaking of checking out, what happened to Gerald Wallace? In 20 minutes of burn against the Wizards, he had zero points on zero shots. No injury involved; Charlotte’s best all-around player was just completely uninvolved in the offense. We know Caron Butler is a solid defender and all, but he’s not that good. Crash just seems mentally out of it … The Bobcats won anyway, sparked by Ray Felton (9 pts, 11 asts) after he came back from injuring his ankle early in the second half when he stepped on a baseline cameraman. It was just like Mateen Cleaves in the 2000 NCAA championship game, only with 1/12th the drama and intrigue … We’re out like McHale …
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January 11th, 2009 at 7:25 am
rodnets says:
another solid performance by Scola 18-11. I know its the knicks, but you should be more aware of the kid.
I assume you don´t say this because his name is not arenas, stephen jackson or booyachick. by the way, watching sheryl miller yesterday i saw she is more man that sasha is.
peace
January 11th, 2009 at 7:25 am
AB_40 says:
No joke, the Rockets should really consider dong with T-Mac what Phoenix does with Shaq: sitting out one-half of their back-to-backs, even taking some nights off against sorry opponents here and there”
I posted that on here about a month ago maybe even further back. Kinda weak hehe.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:32 am
knoc says:
just trade tmac instead.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Hi, Jurg from Denmark says:
hi hi from jurg.
and thank you again for fantastic episode of smack. just so much fun everyday. and big hi hi to mr austin burton and all improtant decision maker at dime and mr aron philip. can i say a very good member of the dime team. and funny. with some good posts.
and is it just me or does anyone think mr jianlian Yi will beat out keven garnett for all star game. big jurgo hopes so badly that it happen. i think kg is bigger problem with bad attitude that the nba has. and now you know i think that. and especially you celtsfan who always says good things about celtics.
and this has been the great dane. hi hi.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Hi, Jurg from Denmark says:
yes yes
and i must say again that mr dodge taylor could be happy today because australia best ever player mr andrew bogut come back from injury. and a big special hello to any person from australia nd sorry again for saying bad things about your country in one of my many posts before crhistmas.
goodbye today. from jurg.
January 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
that's whats up says:
didn’t Jordan make the move against the Lakers in the Finals?
or do I need a drag and a cup of joe before trying to remember?
January 11th, 2009 at 9:05 am
that's whats up says:
nice picture of T-Mac.
The photographer Marc Morrison probably said “okay, T, try to look hard, like your mad at the world…….okay, that’s not working….. just make a face like you just pissed your pants” – got it!
January 11th, 2009 at 9:10 am
doc says:
Jordan made a move in every finals game he ever played in.But today its all about the E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!
January 11th, 2009 at 9:35 am
steven says:
Smack nice job on the Blazer references- even dusting off Smith. LA isn’t as talented as Rasheed, but I think he has more drive or is it just lack-of-focus for Rasheed? He always looked high in Portland, but now that Mighty Mouse isn’t his teammate…
January 11th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Ansonious says:
I’m still in shock that Arizona beat Carolina yesterday
January 11th, 2009 at 10:04 am
alf (from melmak) says:
its been weeks since i have been here. missed this stuff. like i always said, work is a four letter word.
anyway, watched the jazz game earlier and two things were evident — d-will still does not have the speed and explosiveness back and the jazz team is really deep.
i hate playing the what “if” scenario but can anyone just imagine what the jazz record would be had everyone been healthy from the start?
hope i can post more often now or i would give my meal allowance to the next girl who gives her contact details to me here.
January 11th, 2009 at 10:09 am
LAballer says:
“and Travis Outlaw looked like what Darius Miles was supposed to be; less real-life version and more The Perfect Score version.” lol..that movie was just playing on like the USA channel or something..he is a horrible actor as well..and Ronny looked sad as hell when they played the Lakers last..you think he wishes he was back with them?
real quick..i dont know if there any any wolves fans here but did mchale actually trade away oj mayo and brandon roy for foye and love? why does he still have a job? imagine that backcourt with jefferson in the middle..not a bad young core at all..at least he isnt isiah..
January 11th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Luigi says:
u gotta crank that
Were out like the oldies. Jake n Kerry
January 11th, 2009 at 10:18 am
vinny says:
houston played in philly tues- boston wed- ok friday and saturday night completely have more energy than the knicks- man how th f.. do you lose to the rockets-and artest and tracey dont play and get outrebounded 60-38.
its really hard to be a knick fan. GO GIANTS!!!!
January 11th, 2009 at 10:26 am
JCARR says:
GIANTS!!
January 11th, 2009 at 11:53 am
goonther says:
Its the iggles all day today – I guarantee eli will crumble to the field and cry just like r-homo
January 11th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Amar says:
love how when utah wins its just because of the sched. look it up, when was the last time detroit beat the jazz, 2003?
January 11th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
BEdger says:
So I guess nobody wants to talk about how unathletic Brandon Roy is….thought so
January 11th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
RonNation says:
koufous underrated rookie
January 11th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Celts Fan says:
@Jurg – I said we DONE already man and that KGs antics are kind of childish (but admittedly entertaining as hell to me anywya.) My only thing is that it’s not just “guys half his size” and bullshit like that and that I’d rather win without class than lose with it.
January 11th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
reskiLLa says:
I can’t believe you dropped that “perfect score” reference. Did anyone actually see that movie? BRUTAL. Honestly, the only thing funnier than d-miles acting, was that stoner kid. He stole the show.
January 11th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
RonNation says:
Dime forgot to note Kwame “Stone Hands” Brown was in action tonight.
At one point in time he fumbled the basketball 3 times in a 20 second stretch.
l0l
January 11th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
j says:
Homer blazer here, thanks for all the love at the top, though your way overhyped and completely wrong on some of the comparisons, still appreciate the love. Aldridge was wering the headband because he was elbowed in the ear against the pistons and got a cut and infection, so he has to keep sweat out of it. remember, just like in seattle nate has a rule of no headbands.
January 11th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Kudabeen says:
Eli already made one great play for the Eagles…I’m liking the way he is looking so far…The Birds haven’t looked great so far, but still have a lead…Come on Eli…Make another big play for us…
January 11th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Ju ju says:
Yeah. Portland’s future is BRIGHT
D-miles better not fucking play another two games or there goes 18 million on the blazers salary cap. That tall stack-a-shit doesn’t even deserve to be in the nba.
January 11th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Kudabeen says:
He just got a 10 day from the Griz, so the 2 games look like a done deal…
January 11th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Amar says:
lmao @ ohio state centers . . . check out gerg oden and kosta koufos
oden plays 22.8 mpg. kosta plays 13.2 mpg. so oden plays about 10 mpg more.
oden is 8.0 ppg (52.7 fg%, 63.7 ft%), 0.7 apg, 0.4 spg, 1.1 bpg
koufos, who doesn’t start and again, gets 10 mpg less is at: 5.4 ppg (50.7 fg%, 75.7 ft%), 0.5 apg, 0.3 spg, 0.8 bpg
the only huge difference (between one of them being a 19 year old white boy from ohio and the other being a middle aged black man) is in rebounding where oden owns (7 to 3.3) a significant advantage. funny rookie seasons for these two guys from the same school . . .
January 11th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Amar says:
sorry, gerg = greg . . .
January 11th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Ju ju says:
Don’t get me wrong, the darius can play basketball… but he should be in the d-league or in europe like childress.
January 11th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
contradiction of the day says:
How good would Portland be if they had done the obviously correct thing and drafted Kevin Durant? I mean the guy looks like a 6’10″ VelociRaptor, and after setting all those records in college we knew he was BORN to play basketball. He is a taller, better Tracy McGrady clone.
I knew the blazers f*cked that one up on draft day, I didn’t have to wait to see how both players would turn out (yeah I know, y’all keep waiting for Oden to show up – good luck with that). That is Pritchard’s one glaring mistake amongst a slew of ridiculously good draft picks and deals. At least he got rid of Tyrus Thomas for LaMarcus Aldridge.
They would look waaay better like this:
ROY
RUDY
DURANT
ALDRIDGE
PRZYBILLA
January 11th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Kudabeen says:
Vinny!!
Thanks Eli…
Next up:
How to contain Larry Fitzgerald???
January 11th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
doc says:
E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!
January 11th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
pdiddle says:
Hehe… “No joke, the Rockets should really consider dong with T-Mac”
January 11th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Wolves Fan #1 says:
no love for the t-wolves 5 game win streak?? 7 wins in the last 9 games???
January 11th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
vinny says:
congrats Kudabeen- i hope mcnabb gets a ring! damm philly and the steelers in the superbowl?
January 11th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Kudabeen says:
It would be a good look, but can’t look past Fitzgerald and the Cards…
Wolves:
They are “Tearing” it up lately…Foye is handling Biz like I knew he always could…Carney showing signs…Big Al just doing his best Moses Malone impersonation…Telfair is actually playing like the guy we though he coud have been…BUT what’s the deal with Mike Miller…I thought he would have a much better season…I guess he is trade bait…
January 12th, 2009 at 1:02 am
GEE...Who's drunk off that Hen? says:
Houston Up! Those two wins were needed. Fa real, fa real. I thought Houston called themselves doing the Shaq thing just with Ron and T (and occasionally Yao).
I think they basically get in a little circle and play “Paper, Rock and Scissors”. Apparently Yao is always the one who loses.