Smack / Jan 8, 2009 / 6:28 am

Razzle Dazzler

Dwyane WadeDwyane Wade (photo. Chad Griffith)

When Dick Vitale somehow fit an entire half-hour pre-game show’s worth of talk into the first two minutes of Heat/Nuggets, we were worried that the second part of ESPN’s “announcer swap” experiment was headed for disaster, as we could imagine fans nationwide reaching for their remotes. But Dickie V calmed down as the game went on, and unless you’re someone who just automatically can’t stand him, he wasn’t bad. D-Wade got the baptismal, “The Elevator Man! High-riser! Super, scintillating, sensationaaaaaal!” treatment when he caught an alley-oop from Mario Chalmers, which was honestly pretty cool in a Marquette-flashback kind of way, but that “Dwyane The Dazzler” nickname Vitale kept pushing hopefully isn’t gonna stick … Could you tell Vitale wishes J.R. Smith would have gone to UNC so he could have called some of his games? J.R. Buckets scored 21 off the bench in Denver’s win, including some ridiculously tough jumpers and a dunk at the halftime buzzer (didn’t count) where he took off from almost the free throw line and finished with two hands … Linas Kleiza started in place of ‘Melo and wasted no time jacking shots. He scored 15 in the first half and ended up with 21 for the game; midway through the second quarter he was running heat checks, pulling up for threes in transition and air-balling at least one of them … Late in the first half, Wade (31 pts) got to the basket WAY too easy and scored pretty much uncontested. As Vitale was killing the Nuggets’ D, the cameras showed George Karl shaking his head, rolling his eyes and cussing to himself like Coby had just brought home a “D” on his report card. We haven’t seen that look very often, but it tells us something; Karl is getting mad now about defensive breakdowns, whereas pre-Chauncey he’d seemed to stop caring, like his team was just hopeless in that area … Did you see when they were interviewing ‘Melo on the bench and Renaldo Balkman was doing everything he could — dancing, cheesing, towel-waving, etc. — to get in the camera shot? He kept it up until the cameras zoomed in on ‘Melo enough to block Balkman out … Make it six losses in their last eight games for the Celtics. With T-Mac on the bench in his Kanye clothes, Von Wafer and Aaron Brooks picked up his scoring load outside, and Yao lit up the C’s for 26 points inside. Wafer hit the go-ahead three in the corner with 45 seconds left, but he’s going to make more highlight reels for the play in the first half where he went baseline and got rejected by the rim … E-mail from Austin: “I’ve turned to the Celtics/Rockets game twice. The first time, Tommy Heinsohn was in the middle of whining about a call that went against the Celtics (on the play where Von Wafer tried to dunk on everybody and got hung on the rim). The second time, Heinsohn was in the middle of whining about another call that went against the Celtics (something involving Ron Artest). I don’t think I’m turning back.” …

AmareAmare’s team took a tough L

At one point during the second quarter, the Suns were actually getting booed by their fans because their D against the Pacers was so bad. Danny Granger seemed headed for a 50-point night, but after Terry Porter switched Grant Hill onto him, the Suns chipped away at the lead as Granger struggled in the third quarter. Then Leandro Barbosa (18 pts) got loose in the fourth, sticking corner threes and getting to the cup, finally giving Phoenix the lead with 45 seconds left. Granger responded by pulling up over Hill and burying a jumper with 34 seconds left to tie it, and after Phoenix missed twice on their next possession, Indiana got the ball back with 0.9 on the clock. So who’s the ONE PERSON Phoenix should make sure doesn’t get open? Exactly. But naturally Steve Nash ended up on Granger (37 pts), and all he had to do was catch and shoot, knocking down a straightaway three at the buzzer … Long after the Pacers had done the Derek Fisher move and bolted for the locker room, the Suns were standing around waiting for the refs to review the shot, and for some reason Cedric Ceballos was standing in the middle of their huddle, looking as concerned as anyone … Can anyone explain why Travis Outlaw is pretty much an average NBA player unless it’s a last-second possession? Outlaw is like the Blazers’ own Robert Horry, except they actually run plays for him. Down one to the Pistons, Outlaw got the rock with about 13 seconds remaining, going left and hitting a hanging J over two defenders. Allen Iverson got a good look over Steve Blake on the other end, but it hit the back-rim … Joel Przybilla didn’t have much of a stat line (2 pts, 7 rebs), but his presence on the court was invaluable. Multiple times Przybilla’s double-teams on ball-screens forced turnovers out of A.I. and Rodney StuckeyChris Paul vs. Deron Williams, Chapter Whatever wasn’t much to write home about. Deron put up eight points and eight assists, CP had 26 and seven, and the Jazz won in a rout. (They kind of own the Hornets, don’t they?) David West seemed worn out after destroying the Lakers the night before, and the absolute worst matchup to have when you’re low on energy is Paul Millsap (27 pts, 14 rebs) … Other big stat lines from Wednesday’s schedule: Pau Gasol had 33 points and 18 boards in a win over the Warriors; Randy Foye scored 32 while the Wolves smacked the Thunder by 42; Vince Carter put up 25 points and 12 assists in a win over the Grizzlies; and Dwight Howard stamped 23 and 19 boards on the Hawks in a win … Cavs/Bobcats became a laugher pretty quick. It wasn’t interesting until the second quarter, when Juwan Howard got ejected from the bench. (Before that, Juwan’s only contribution was getting dunked on by J.J. Hickson and LeBron.) As Juwan walked off the floor laughing his ass off the entire time, apparently it ticked off ref Michael Smith, who right after that hit the Cavs with a delay-of-game technical, then right after that, gave Daniel Gibson a tech for having his jersey untucked. “Somebody’s a little touchy today,” said Cavs announcer Austin Carr … We’re out like Balkman’s face time …

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  • dank


    and the lakers need to do what they did tonite more often. FEED THE TWIN TOWERS!

    im out like the Celtics’ championships, errr i mean PLAYOFFS’ hopes


  • YOUNGFED…”There goes the neighborhood like Fred Sanford next to Ned Flanders”

    Yes we are witnessing the Fall of a champion. Goodbye Celtics no more Pierce or KG acting like they’re the best that ever done did it. All I got to say is “Yaarrrr B@tch!!! Yaarrrrrr!!!!” lol

    FEDRODOMUS PREDICTS: Pistons v. Lakers finals, Pistons in 6.

    YOUNGFEDS BANGER OF THE DAY: New Kimberly Smallz “Download”


  • dank

    you mention Joel Pryzbilla but no mention of Ron Ron being the real reason why the celtics lost???

    also, you guys posted an article about David West, and how he’s still in the NBA. after last nights game against the Jazz, i think this guy is more D-league status than Keleena Azubuike. really D-west? 13 points? consistency is the name of the game. I think his soul and Pau’s switched places for the night

  • K Dizzle

    I was hopin to hear more about a certain nba player in the ATL blowin a breakaway lay-up, with his team down 4, at crunch time…..just pitiful

    Here’s a lesson for the league. After you play the Lakers, the next game is usually a huge letdown and u usually get smacked…real, real hard

    Boston lost again…..better sign Starbury quick


  • dank

    gotta disagree with you youngfed. my finals matchup is Lakers over Cavs in 5. nobody has the talent necessary to stop Lamar, Bynum and Pau (a mi me gusta la) GASOL-ina

    then you have a deeeeeeeeeep bench

    then Ariza hounding your best ball handler like a police dog

    oh and of course, mr. Bean Bryant

    Lebrons got uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….the crab dribble.

    and the pistons is like that Mystery Airhead Flavor. you never know what you gunna get.

  • YOUNGFED…”There goes the neighborhood like Fred Sanford next to Ned Flanders”

    BTW with all the assassination attempts on Obama I suggest we let the get KG Pierce and that lil alien they call Rondo. lil ant face bast@rd. lmao

    Starbury can’t help them. It’s Ooooova!!!

  • YOUNGFED…”There goes the neighborhood like Fred Sanford next to Ned Flanders”

    lol @ that Crab dribble statement. Thats gotta be the ugliest dribble move eva created.

    You say “and the pistons is like that Mystery Airhead Flavor. you never know what you gunna get.”

    Thats only till the the playoffs pimpin’ then its on and poppin’ like Oriville Redenbaucher. lol

    @Dime Fam
    By the way did any of yall hear about Katt Williams getting smack-up in the D onNew Years after his show and doing nothing about it. He said it’s because he didn’t want anymore lawsuits what yall think. If yall got money would you just sit there and let somebody smack you?

  • Kudabeen

    Celtics bench needs some heat quick…Garnett needs to rest…Ray Allen may need glasses…I still think Cavs are a better team…Cavs vs L.A. Finals unless NO gets a real 2 guard at some point and a reliable big (not likely)…

    Ya’ll was beatin’ up my Nova alum Foye earlier this year (deservedly so) but he has been balling lately and the Wolves have been looking good as of late. They do have pieces…

    Granger is playing out of his mind. It is refreshing to see a guy that get all that talk about potential actually put in the work and overachieve…

    I love this season…can’t wait to see who makes the biggest move to better their team for the playoff push…

  • Kudabeen


    If I had dough like that…I’d have a couple of “I don’t give a F#@%” type dudes and one chick on my team to handle things like that…I hope Katt don’t roll with cats his size are smaller to elevate his ego…They are winning ZERO battles…Anyway he deserved to get ‘touched’ for being an ass…hopefully they slapped some sense in him…”Cocaine is a hell of a drug”…Just say no Katt…

  • solomon

    crab dribble… that’s itchy, eh? damn the suns, reshuffling the team, claiming to preaching D then making boneheaded switches in the end – porter can suit em up and be by far the most tenacious defender in that crew…

    that wafer jam (yeah, he got jammed, right) looked good halfway up…

    and where’s the gnarling now, mr. cinco? add steph and its like pouring rock salt into a fresh knee wound then kneeling on that… anything is impossible alright – from being barely unbeatable to barely winning at all

    we’re out like whosoever’s facing the lake show by game 6…

  • jayslay

    some great games last nite…lebron and kobe are on a collission corset to determine who is #1….we will find out in june….

    BREAKING NEWS: Candace Parker is pregnant…guess sheldon does get some playing time lol

  • Celts Fan

    The Celtics aren’t done, just a lull, BUT we’re not beating LeBron in the Playoffs w/out any moves. big C and defensive 3 or that’s a wrap. I said it when we got KG and I’ll say it again. The window wasn’t open for very long. We’re a few years away from being last year’s Heat (minus that superduper star in his prime – Wade – that just was hurt) but we got a chip and should contend again this year and next (make a fuckin move though Danny, we could easily win this thing again w/ a some bigger, defensive guys off the bench.) Right now, we’re not winning shit, but even if we don’t win anything else (even anohter playoff series) we got that chip so I’m cool w/ it, BUT that’s not waht I fuckin want. get off your ass and do something Danny!

    and 38 min. for Ray (or Paul, don’t remember which) and 40 for KG in the 2nd night of a back to back in a meaningless game in January while KG’s fighting through a minor injury!?! come on Doc, at least keep em fresh for the Playoffs! WTF

    and Austin, Tommy’s basically like watching Ron Burgundy for 2.5 hours. Just sit back and laugh. If you’re expecting anything you can take seriously, you’re watching the wrong shit!

  • http://afl.com.au josh tha roc

    and for some reason Cedric Ceballos was standing in the middle of their huddle, looking as concerned as anyone ……thats funny sh#t. hahahah

  • solomon

    candace definetely has some weird taste… imagine being knocked up by a troll – it’s like beauty and the beast 08, literally…

    just damn wish candace’s genes dominate that kid, for his sakes… no use landlording the bench and having a mug that could easily be mistaken as a team mascot 97% of the time…

    we’re out like shelden’s genes… pleeeeaaassseeee…

  • AB_40

    Vince Carter needs to be in the all star game so does shaq… the celtics bench is still chiling in LA since last christmas they look scared. Sam Cassel trade your flip flops for sneakers and start getting the bench squad back on track please. thank you.

    tomorow night’s game gonna be good

  • http://www.alltexasforums.com rangerjohn

    hey good news spurs fans, they WAIVED ANTHONY TOLLIVER!!!!!

    that guy was the worst, and i am not sure why pop kept giving him any minutes at all. i mean damn the guy was like 9 of 41 from 3, somebody should have told him “dude your almost 7′ tall and your not matt bonner or dirk, STOP SHOOTING THE 3″

    good ridence

  • fallinup

    I think I chucked my remote every time Dickey V started yelling about JR’s mom everytime he made a clutch basket. Needless to say, I need a new remote now. And Dick, is was great to dabble, but please don’t come back.

    A losing streak in January is exactly what the Celtics need now. If you think Danny Ainge is just gonna sit idle, you’re wrong. McHale will make that Al Jefferson for Veal trade soon enough….just you wait. haha

  • YOUNGFED…”Let’s talk about $money$ cause I get alot of that”

    They’re are no Spurs fans. Sorry dude. lmao

    I don’t about letting catz smack me but I kinda feel Katt. Once you get money you can’t still act like you were before you had it (gettin’ all ignant and sh*t).

  • YOUNGFED…”Let’s talk about $money$ cause I get alot of that”

    Also for all you Celtics fans Danny Ainge ain’t gonna do nothing but fall off like cripple skrippers.

    @Celts Fan
    Sorry Celts Fan but its over bruh let it soak in, I know it hurts. Yo boyz is one and done. It is what it is? The Truth (And I ain’t talk about Pierce aka “The False”)

  • that’s whats up

    I think Tolliver’s mom died in training camp; they may have just been giving him the benefit of every doubt due to his circumstances.

    Concerning Shelden Williams knocking up “Sweet-as CandyAss Parker”, I believe it was Eric Dickerson who said: “Look, I know I’m ugly. That doesn’t mean I have to marry an ugly woman and have ugly babies”.

    I never seen his kids so I don’t know how that turned out

  • Celts Fan

    @Youngfed – man, I openly just said we’re done UNLESS Danny makes a move. We really let PJ and Posey walk and “replaced” them w/ POB and Walker/Giddens (who aren’t playing) or basically w/ guys that couldn’t crack the rotation last year (TA and Big Baby.) That ish don’t make no sense.

    Bring up one of the rooks in the DLeague and find a center w/ a pulse ASAP.

    btw, your Pistons are done (for this year anyway) too but Stuckey is making his case to be Rondo’s equal (won’t go higher yet, but let’s just say he’s getting there quickly) cuz this http://redsarmy.com/ just won’t cut it.

  • that’s whats up

    FED, don’t you blasphemy the Spurs…

    or I’ll have to remind you about June 23rd, 2005

  • Celts Fan

    *oops was supposed to be this http://www.nba.com/hotspots/ (just pick Celtics and Rondo and it’s bluer than election night. work on your jumper dude…)

  • vinny

    Kudabeen- brandon is playing sunday- the giants are kicking that ass,lol!!
    and thank goodness dicky v doesnt do pro games- he sucks!!!!!

  • vinny

    oh and last night is why david west is not an all star-he scores 40 1 night then scores 13- he’s to inconsistent!

  • http://GEE2.com GEE…I can’t see em comin down my eyes

    Houston up!
    Finally feels good to say that again!

    I mean I been saying Wade needs another nickname for a lil minute, but Dazzler is plain gay.

    Dude just kept saying that lol. Dicky V wasn’t that bad to me. Actually refreshing just because he seems more interested than most. To interested at times.

    Granger is just nuts this year. Loving his play and swag!

    Did anyone else see Bibby miss the easiest layup of his career. Right when they really needed it.

    Kenyon got dunk of the night but then followed it up with a tech. Dummy!

  • fallinup

    Gee, I just got sick of hearing Dicky V after a while. When JR got a break away dunk (nothing spectacular), I think Dick shit his pants in excitement.

    I got mad respect for Vitale for loving the game so damn much. And holding it down for basketball for so long. But I know now why I follow the NBA and not college. haha

  • doc

    Candace Parker look okay but u would think she Beyonce how people hype her up.All Dime got was complaints for every cheerleader they put up,but husky ass Candace is a godess.And my money on Bron winning the chip but Beantown aint done because of a fucking losing streak in January just like they wasnt gonna win because of a worthless win streak in December.U would think some fans memories get erased at the end of every season how they go for the same bs hype every year.And Fed if u gonna start letting people smack u the fuck up because u got money …….I dont know what to say about that.U dont have to kill a dude to get your point across but u should at least have some legbreakers on payroll if u gonna go the pussy route.And Katt didnt chill because he get money,he chilled because he’s a bitch that sounds like a homo when he talks.They said dudes was shaking so much he couldnt even light his Newport.

  • YOUNGFED…”Call me Clint Eastwood Cause I Got a Fistfull of Dolla’s”

    Stuckey is better than Rondo any day homie. Stuckey could average 40 a night Rondo can avg. maybe 15 and 8 ast. BTW my Pistons gonna hurt your Celtics if them punks even make the playoffs. “Haaaaaa…Ha” (And yes I said that in the Nelson voice) lmao

    @Thats whats up

  • isotope

    Y’all knew we were going to be up in here today. Ha! True, the Rockets are struggling… but not as bad as the Celtics are. They lose to the Wiz, Raptors, Hawks, and Sixers but beat the Celts.

    Go Rockets!

    Granger is trying to get in that all star game. He’s this year’s David West.

  • YOUNGFED…”Call me Clint Eastwood Cause I Got a Fistfull of Dolla’s”

    @Iso and Gee
    Yeah I like the Rockets and Suns over the Celtics right now.

    The west is looking up. But it ain’t fuggin’ wit the East. We got them Shaolin warriors round here. “Detroit Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuk wit.” lol

    This is real talk I’ve been trying to get an answer and nobody seems to know. If a WNBA chick is good enuff to play in the NBA would the let her? Get at if yall got time or know the answer. Holla.

  • rell

    Hey DA time to call in that favor from Chris Wallace. That Rudy Gay kid is ready for the taken. Scalabrine and Big Baby for Rudy Gay.

    The reason why the Celtics are losing because both Garnett and Ray Allen are not scoring.
    last 7 games last 4 games
    Garnett in the last 7 games 14 pt/game and in the last 4 games 12pt/game. Shuttleworth in the last 7 games 14pt/games and the last 4 games 15pt/game

  • Alf

    I think this whole “ESPN Experiment” thing was a great idea, but in a different context:

    It showed that ESPN needs to some re-pairing of the commentators.

    I would love to see for example:

    Marc Jackson and Dicky V together or for a very-technical basketball discussion: Dan Shulman and Jeff Van Gundy together.

  • rell

    We need a edit button. Make it happen.

    Like I was saying, the Celtics are not winning because KG and Ray Ray are not doing crap. Paul Pierce is the only one showing up scoring 25pt/game and shooting 60% in the last 7. DA should have resigned Posey, but that is old news. Chris Wallace time to give us Rudy Gay.

  • http://GEE2.com GEE…I can’t see em comin down my eyes

    fallinup yea he does go overboard many times but I guess I just like that type of foolishness more times than not.

    Like I love Duke Tango for AND1 (and I know many don’t) I would just love to have that cat announce just 1 game I play in.
    “Ohhh Baby!” That junk gets me amped!

    Again I just like excitement and antics.

    iso those loses had me hurting, but it’s good ANYTIME to get a win on the defending champs.

    Young I love the Rockets but they aren’t even on the Celtics level overall. In 7 the Celtics would prolly take Houston out quick right now. Hopefully the Rockets will have their ish together by playoffs.

    As for the Suns. Well I said it last night. Terry Porter should bow out gracefully.

  • http://www.alltexasforums.com rangerjohn

    ok for all the “the celts are done” people, come on do you really believe that shit? i mean dig deep and ask yourself, “do i REALLY think this is the end of the celts?” if so you are delusional. and for all the people who think james posey and pj brown are the answer, YOUR NUTS. posey was a nice piece but damn, and pj? the celts had what record last season before he came on? he only came on to ride kg and pierce’s nutsacks to a title so he could retire for real (i hate that shit by the way, they sure look like they wil win one so i better run right on over there and try to get one with them). i mean damn saying posey is the answer is like saying the spurs could have never won a title without horry, just crazy talk

    all this talk is bs. in the end the cavs will beat the celts in the conf finals (if orlando or atlanta doesnt do them in 1st) and then the cavs will lose a 7 gamer to the spurs for the customary odd year title.

  • control

    Dicky V was annoying as an announcer as I have ever heard. The only one who is more annoying is that guy for NY…Clide Frazer or wtf he is? That guy who makes up those super long wannabe intelligent sounding words.


    Did you quote Souljaboy? I hope someone bitch slaps you in the face for that one.

  • YOUNGFED…”Call me Clint Eastwood Cause I Got a Fistfull of Dolla’s”

    Why you hatin on Souljaboy…Cause he’s young, black, and has way more money than you. Or maybe you’re one of those “he’s killin’ hip-hop” cry babies. Anyway dude is funny and everything/body ain’t gotta be street. And yes Yaaaaarrrr B@tch Yaarr!!! is and was funny. So yes i did quote souljaboy anymore question.

    Damn Orlando andCavs over the Piston even tough we gave both of those teams the bizness. Woooooowwwww.

  • http://GEE2.com GEE…I can’t see em comin down my eyes

    I guess it’s all in who you like.

    Some think Walton is funny and really like him, and he annoys the (insert your own word) out of me!

  • isotope

    Gee, I think the Rockets are closer than you think. Artest makes a bigger impact than TMac right now. If he’s healthy, they have a better chance of winning. Last night proves that. Yao is Yao as long as they give Yao the ball.

    I dont think Porter should be blamed for all their losses. Shaq, Nash, and Hill are getting old. He doesnt have the right tools to implement what he needs on that team. They should shed their huge salaries and join in 2010 free agent sweepstakes.

  • fallinup

    What little cred Fed had left, has disappeared after his defense of Soulja Boy. You probably think Chunky A is a hip hop icon, don’t cha?

    Game over man. Game over.

  • control


    I don’t care that Souljaboy is young, black, ain’t street or has more money than me (don’t start your race bs either). I hate on the guy because his music is absolute shit. The guy has NO talent at all and it’s a statement about how retarded the youth in this country are that he has made the money he has made. I don’t know that you can say he’s killing hiphop, that horse has been dead for a while now, he sure as hell ain’t helping it though. If you think that kid has talent…I just don’t know what that says about ya.

    People saying Celts fallen off:

    See ya on the bandwagon next month.

  • YOUNGFED…”Call me Clint Eastwood Cause I Got a Fistfull of Dolla’s”

    Why is it that as soon as another Region takes over (like the South) all you backin muthafugger’s start talking that hiphop is dead. It ain’t dead it’s just digital. The south is hw

  • http://www.alltexasforums.com rangerjohn

    come on young, you are the ONLY person who would be crazy enough to think the pistons have any shot. you guys have not beaten boston yet, and it looks like the pistons have less wins against teams with +500 records then even the spurs, and the spurs have not been playing well until lately (they are still not up to par right now).

    dont give me that “the pistons are waiting till the playoffs to shine” BS, that is the spurs M O and has been for 10 yrs. not to mention, the pistons are just not the same team of past yrs, and they dont have th eone thing they have had, DEFENSE. the pistons are going to make the playoffs, (its the east, outside of 3-5 teams everyone else SUCKS) but i would not be surprised if they lost in the 1st round. maybe to a miami or atlanta (facing atl if they started right now)

  • isotope

    Umm, Fed. The South don’t need you or Soulja boy to be our spokesperson. Last i checked, you rep Detroit. What u know bout the South anyway? And u’re probably the 1st person i’ve heard that’s older than soulja boy and actually listens to and enjoys his music.

  • control


    Don’t matter which region music is getting it’s influence from…shit is shit. Current music right now=shit, and not just in hip-hop, but in most alternative rock and pop. Souljaboy is just the William Hung of hip-hop, and I didn’t hear any American Idol listening motherfuckers standing up and defending Hung’s talent (boy got paid too).

    You are the only person I have ever heard defend Souljaboy, maybe you look up to his cash, but cash ain’t everything in the world son. Self respect and dignity are important in life…and that no talent bitch done sold all his.

  • isotope

    i just hope he saved his money cuz soulja boy is going to be irrelevant soon. Real soon. Didnt his 2nd album flop?

  • control


    He actually had a first one? I thought he just did ring tones? I think his next step is surreal life or dancing with the “former” stars…though I would love to see him fight Dustan Diamond and get his ass beat in “Celebrity” boxing.

  • fallinup

    FYI. Hip hop aint dead. It’s just lost it’s soul to $$ and went underground. There are only a handful of commercial MC’s that actually get my respect, and for DAMN SURE….Soulja is far from being one of em.

    I think control said it best. Current music right now = shit. I’m a friggin radio DJ, and have to deal with all this crap on a daily basis….and bite my friggin tongue.

    You think cause he’s sellin records (or downloads these days) that he’s hot….you’ve just taken more of that corporate dildo in the ass. You got old white men in $1000 suits telling you whats good. Stop livin like sheep, folks.

  • control


    You are 100% right, excellent articulation. Hell even some of the commercial artists out there have really good unreleased music, but the stuff that gets played on main stream radio is horrible. It’s all genres of music, rock, rap, hip-hop and I’m assuming country (not that I listen to that shit). I think the only genre staying true is classical…everyone knows Mozart didn’t sell out.

  • that’s whats up

    somebody just Superman that ho and be done with this

  • that’s whats up

    from Chunky A to Dustin Diamond to Mozart – yes Dime readers, we always take that route

  • fallinup

    Keys to making it as a successful commercial hip hop artist:

    #1: An addictive hook. Preferably clever, or at least catchy enough that the majority of the idiots can understand.

    #2: Ghetto enough to look like your still street. But not ghetto enough to scare away the white folks. Enough street cred to make it seem like your “keeping it real”. Until your next album, when you forget about your roots and you can rap about love, crying, and all that bull shit.

    #3: A little bit of both #1 and #2. And the looks to attract the white girls. Because, you haven’t broken through as a major artist until white girls ages 15-25 are buying your stuff.

    #4: A dumbed down beat…to attract the casual fan (goes back to the whole “too ghetto thing”).

    #5: Dumbed down lyrics….to attract the casual fan.( again, goes back to the whole “too ghetto thing”)

    Those are my keys to commercial hip hop success. In an unprepared nutshell.

  • control


    You forgot

    #6: Borrow some “bling” and a benz/maybach/bently to look like you are already rich even though you haven’t made shit.

  • fallinup

    Yeah, I agree, control. I kinda figured that in with my #3.


  • isotope

    don’t forget
    -jail time
    -a remix featuring lil Wayne, or Rick Ross, or TI, or T Pain, or all of them on the same song.

  • control


    Didn’t Rick Ross lose his street cred? He is/was a correctional officer or something isn’t he?

    I honestly don’t think most artists know Lil’ Wayne is going to be on their tracks. He’s like the lil’ ghetto leprechaun…he just sneaks into studios and mumbles into the mic when no one is watching (usually while eating one of the doughnuts he stole, that is why you can’t understand em). When studio techs are cleaning up the track for release, they then realize that Lil’ Wayne has struck again, oh snap! Gotta put his name on it now!

    TPain is pretty horrible, guy just makes up words that sound the same so his shit rhymes.

  • YOUNGFED….”Take a look at yo’self and not me”

    @@ Control & FallinUp
    1st lets get one thing straight I never said I listen to Souljaboy. 2nd Anybody in here that tells you he ain’t heard Yaarrr B@tch, Yaaarrr!!! is a fake ass lame.

    Now with that being said hip-hop will never die because it’s always evolving, ever changing. Thats why this genre of music will always be the best. I was a hardcore backpacker but now most of that sh@t is wack beats over sometimes hot rhymes. All I used to bump was nas, tweleb, mos, biggie and jigga. However of those artist the only ones that have remained consistent with the times is Jigga cause he brings rhymes and beats. As far as new albums go I still banging Young Jeezy and Nas is collecting dust. However certain music fits certain moods and times it is what it is. So I say to everyone either evolve with hiphop or stay on that Willie Grandpa sh*t.

    Damn yall done made me write a motherfuggin’ 4 page letter. I feel like Aaliyah in this bytch. lol

  • control


    You defend Soulja even though you don’t listen to him? WTF? Please don’t tell me it’s just two young, rich and successful brothers who gotta keep it locked down together against “the man”.

  • Kudabeen


    I hear you but I think Jacobs peaked too early this week!!

    I read how he has been all amp’d up. His energy level it too high too early…Unfortunately we don’t have a guy that can go body to body with him, but our team swarms…You seen how they had Adrian Peterson in and out of the game…His check engine light was flashing like a MuthaF^@#$…LOL

    All I can say is Jacobs better grease the joints in that cold weather…Eli better pray for one of those miracle catches…Giants are going to be under siege…It’s gonna come down to field position like it usually does with these teams and I think I special teams have ya’ll beat hands down…

    We def have to come to play, but we rollin’ up 95 and taxing the Gaints Sunday…

  • fallinup

    And @Fed. I never said you listened to Soulja Boy. I said you are defending him. And that you’ve lost all of your cred because of that.

    Plus, you know you lying anyway. You probably got Soulja Boy’s picture spread in Tiger Beat plastered all over your room right now. haha

  • isotope

    Y’all heard that new ‘Tip? If you old school like that, u’d love it. Good hip hop is out there you just gotta look harder to find it. Mos is still solid, he was on the Roots album last year. Scarface had a good album last year so did Devin the dude. (plug: both Houston cats tho Devin sometimes claims Austin). And theres still the UG like Blu, Evidence, black milk, and i guess Royce, etc.

  • Kudabeen


    Come on man…Candice is Husky?? I will admit I just have a thing for women who play ball and are still feminine, but Candice Parker is gorgeous…Beyonce don’t look like Beyonce when the makeup and outfits are off…Both Fine as hell…


  • YOUNGFED….”Take a look at yo’self and not me”

    @Fallin Up
    I’m defending him because I respect his hustle and what he brings to hiphop (Fun dance music for the kids/teens). Dude was smart enuff to break into the game different from all the rest. Thru my space so respect it. Half of these industry artist are just mad because they ain’t never going platinum even though the on major labels and it did it.

    Totally agree, these cats in here talking about I lost my credibilty when I bring them underground sh@t and websites they don’t even check out. WTF.

  • http://allthatjazzbasketball.blogspot.com/ Amar

    okay, lots of teams play back-to-back games on long road trips (the jazz have done it twice this season) — so the absolute SPANKING the jazz handed out to CP3’s club stands — let’s not forget that we’re already down one starter (they were healthy) and during the game we lost another to injury — and it took a nice 5 point run in garbage time to bring the margin under 30. Utah deserves some respect.

    deron had a poor game, but it’s not like he was jacking either, he only too 7 shots, dude was questionable to play last night. that’s one of the few games in the H2H that paul has actually won . . . but as it stands, it’s 9-2 for Deron vs. Paul. That’s not a small number anymore . . .

  • fallinup

    Haha..Breaking through myspace is nothing different. It’s what every two bit wannabe rapper is doing to try to get signed. Because, it’s free, and popular. Nothing special. Aint no hustle about it. He followed the five keys to making in the commercial rap scene that I mentioned earlier…no less no more.

    As for the “underground shit” you’ve been copy and pasting from XXL mag.com….here’s a newsflash…the shit you say is new is usually out for atleast a few months, bro. The industries give those websites those tracks.

  • http://GEE2.com GEE…I can’t see em comin down my eyes

    Everyone knows it’s all preference. Just on what you look for like and support.

    Me personally, I think Soulja Boy is like a Jester.

    You have kings, knights and Jesters (or however you want to break it down.

    For me your Kings are the consistent commercial rappers and one hit wonders. They get major radio play, loved by a lot of people who don’t have particular standards of songs.

    The Knights are the ones I love. Recognized by the true fans of who know they should be the true Kings and occasionally some have been (Knights that become Kings are well respected for the time they put in as a night). Yet they are the ones keeping the kingdom alive and they are skilled at their craft. These are rappers who are diverse and can handle different topcis and stay on the topics. They are crazy with word play and come with great lyrics.

    Jesters are your clowns. Loved by kids and funny. Very popular but just silly comical cats that serve no real purpose other than entertainment. They have no real skills and they are replace rather quickly one people get bored with their act.

    So to me your Soulja boys and D4L’s of the world or just Jesters. If you like them that is on you, and I won’t lie I have found myself saying “Wha me do my burd walc” many times (Jester stuff can be catchy). I could never pay money towards anything of a jester though.

    Long live the Knights!

  • chase

    Vitale did provide the most insightful analysis of the JR/Karl battle…in passing he mentioned JR abandoning his commitment to Karl’s
    alma matter/cult, UNC. If there is anyone who can hold a grudge it’s Karl, and the best way to piss him off is by insulting his Tar Heels..

  • srb

    celtics need to knock this shit off really quick.

  • http://www.myspace.com/beenobrown BROGDEN

    I smell a 20 piecing by the CAVS this Friday…


  • Dave

    Jazz were clicking last night, I’m thinking Boozer is sweating it now that his PT is going to be cut in half if/when he ever suits it up again for the Jazz….Milsap is taking his spot on the floor and should take Boozer’s spot on the All-Star ballot. GEE…Houston will make it past everyone in the West except Utah (that’s a given) and the Lakers….and the Spurs won’t get past Utah, LA, or NO, sorry Ranger.

  • http://www.dimemag.com Austin Burton

    I recently heard a quote from (Seattle’s own) Sir Mix-A-Lot that went something like, “Hip-hop will never die as long as there are kids in the inner-city.” I agree.

    Yes, I have “Crank That” and “Yah Trick!” on my iPod, and the “Get Silly” remix that Soulja Boy is on. My fiancee rolls her eyes whenever I play my “ignorant” rap, but it will probably always have a place in my musical tastes. I still have my Biggie and Nas and Jay-Z and Ice Cube and other smarter stuff; Soulja Boy and others like him and just having fun, and make some fun songs. I don’t think it’s supporting hip-hop terrorism to enjoy a song here and there.

  • the cynic

    no mention of Chuck Hayes owning Garnett on the block on 4 straight touches; brick(badly),brick(almost airball), jump ball, and another brick. Does Garnett have any effective offensive moves that isn’t a 20ft jumper? Or is he just a rich man Tyson Chandler?


    Thank you AB BTW can I get an answer to my question regarding can females play in the NBA. Whats good.

  • http://GEE2.com GEE…I can’t see em comin down my eyes

    And Occasional Jester rapper here or there ain’t bad. I mean most funny rappers don’t last long anyway so enjoy 1 or 2 of their cuts while they are in cause them cats don’t last.

    Like I said it’s all on what you like at the time. I ain’t even gonna lie Fabo (from D4L “Mr. Duh Duh Duh or Mr. Chico Stick) is a rapper I always enjoy. He is silly as eva!

    I think he is gone though lol. I ain’t heard from that cat in a while. Like I said they don’t last.

    Dave I feel …or hope rather that Houston will be able to get past everyone outside N.O., Lakers or Spurs. I am really hoping to rematch against Utah. Bring that ish please!

    I just need T-Mac to take his Flintstones at that time and come with it. And if Yao pulls that I am going to get injured right as the playoffs come, I am totally done with dude.

  • http://GEE2.COM GEE…is going to do the stanky leg followed by slappin that bootydoo

    Speakin of Jester type rappes and songs. On the way home I heard a song called

    “Stanky Leg” and it’s about doing the Stanky Leg and hitting some bootydoo?

    I have no idea who the rapper(s) was (wasn’t Soulja Boy although it sound like somethin that would come from him)and what the Stanky Leg is, but the song had me crackin up at the stupidity.

    When you hear it …enjoy…I guess.

  • Dave

    Gee….hoping for anything different from T-Mac and Yao in the playoffs is like Jazz fans hoping Boozer can rent a heart come playoff time, it just ain’t going to happen.

  • http://GEE2.COM GEE…is going to do the stanky leg followed by slappin that bootydoo

    Dave…nice analogy. However a great percentage of what you put down was correct that is why Ron is the way I am going this year lol.
    Counting on Ron to say “Hell Naw!” come playoff time and tell Tracy and Ming to get off yo monkey @## and lets go!”

  • http://dimemag.com Austin Burton

    @GEE — I just watch about six versions of “Stanky Leg” on YouTube, and I’m still crying from laughing. Kids these days…

    @Youngfed — I think they would let a woman try out. It’s happened before.

  • http://www.theverticalsummit.com Dean

    Dickie V was TERRIBLE! I listened for 2 mins & HAD to turn it. Game of the night was Suns VS Pacers. What a great game that was!!! Damn GREAT GAME!

  • http://GEE2.COM GEE…is going to do the stanky leg followed by slappin that bootydoo

    Yea Kids these days is correct. LOL. Junk is seriously hilarious!

    Dean lol come on he wasn’t THAT bad lol.

  • http://GEE2.COM GEE…is going to do the stanky leg followed by slappin that bootydoo

    LOL they got one of the Portland Trailblazers rookies doing the stanky leg for a halftime.

    I really am missing some money just by coming out with something crazy.

  • Dave

    Gee….there is no doubt Ron is an x factor, and if he has the right focus can make a major difference for the Rox….and personally I love what he “could” bring, and would love to see him successful, but he could just as easily go the other way and bring it all down. There is as much of a chance of him taking Matt Harpring out with an elbow as him taking T-Mac out with some untimely verbal abuse in the media. I guess that’s the great thing about the 82 game season, we imagine all the scenario’s and can’t wait to really see will happen at the end of the season.

  • http://GEE2.COM GEE…is going to do the stanky leg followed by slappin that bootydoo

    True indeed! Time will tell!