My Name is Matty D and I’m an Addict
I love college basketball. March Madness is the greatest time of year and there is nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise. Take a look at what this past week brought us – the epic 6-OT game between Syracuse and UCONN, early-round exits by Top-10 teams, last-second and buzzer-beating shots by Villanova, North Dakota State and Eric Devendorf. (That’s right, I said it. Keep reading.) But most importantly, this week will go down in history as the week that brought us Patrick Chewing. “What’s up Ryan? AHHHHH!!!”
I do everything in my power to watch as much college basketball as I possibly can. My infatuation with this game and my need to watch college ball all the time puts me in situations, which are, to put things nicely, less than desirable. When this time of year rolls around, the people around me have no choice – they will be forced to deal with my addiction. It sounds selfish, but the truth is that I just don’t care.
This past Saturday is a prime example. I accompanied my girlfriend to her friend’s house for a St. Patrick’s Day Party. All I could think about on the way there was how I was going to pull off sitting on the couch in front of the TV for six hours without catching any heat from the lady. Alienating everyone else at the party? Don’t care. I pulled the whole thing off, despite the best efforts of the knuckleheads around me.
With about 15 minutes left in the Baylor/Missouri game, I found myself in a room full of insanely drunk people who had just come in from the parade. Sitting directly across from me was a guy who I will refer to as “Droopy Dog.” (This guy’s level of drunkenness made this comparison physically possible) I will refer to the girl who was with him as “Cookie Monster.” (Use your imagination)
As soon as she sat down Cookie Monster started talking about her recent trip to Aruba and how she was topless on the beach every day. I was literally seconds away from throwing up in my beer. To make matters worse, Britney Spears‘ “Toxic” was blaring on the stereo. Between Cookie Monster and Brit, there was no way to hear any of the game. I can’t make this stuff up.
So there I was just trying to ignore the conversation they were having about the Michael Jackson Comeback Tour and then it happened – “Droopy and Cookie” cross the line and start talking about the Syracuse/UCONN game. I swear to you, Droopy spent 15 minutes explaining to Cookie why shots made after the buzzer don’t count. “Is this a test?” I found myself thinking. “Do these people want me to explode into a rant and start insulting everything they stand for?” Just as I hit my breaking point, I came to the realization that I just wasn’t going to win that battle. There would be no point in me blowing up at them. There’s just no way I will ever be able go back to college where I could lock myself in a room completely removed from the outside world, getting drunk and watching college basketball all day long. It’s just not gonna happen.
Unfortunately, this is my life as I have come to know it. Saturday night came to an end with my ‘Cuse’s depressing loss to Louisville in the Big East Final and I had successfully drank myself sober. Luckily the next day was one of my most hated/favorite days of the year, Selection Sunday!
When those brackets are released all the pain I endure and all the uncomfortable situations that arise from my addiction is easily forgotten. Why? Because I know that for the next three days I am going to spend, at a minimum, eight hours a day analyzing every single matchup. And you know what the worst part about this whole thing is? Nine times out of ten, my girlfriend ends up scoring more points than me in my pool and a guy like “Droopy Dog” walks away with the pot and my dignity.
It’s a vicious cycle, but I will always keep coming back.
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March 16th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
me says:
you still write like a 13 year old who sleeps in english IMO, but like a bad rash, you’re starting to grow on me.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
GoEasy says:
Amen. You said it Matty D.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
MOVEZ says:
MATTY!…UNC ALL THE WAY HOMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 16th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
MoxWestCoastRep says:
I liked the story. I was hoping for this ending:
“and thats when I snapped. I dumped my beer on cookies head and knocked droopy out cold, then I sat down and continued watching the game”
ahhh fiction can be fun.
But your story was good.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
POPPI GEE says:
Yea a violent ending would have been the bomb but it was a good read still.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Clockwork Orange says:
Matty D: Any friend of the ‘Cuse is a friend of mine. We shall put aside an honorary seat for you at Faegans during the games.
March 16th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
jinx says:
SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
nice article keep thuggin
March 16th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
quest??? says:
i dont know what all the fuzz is about in terms of college basketball. i find it boring and i hate this time of the year because all they do is talk about some colleges i have never even heard of.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
iain. says:
quest, if you don’t ‘get’ the fuss of college basketball and in particular March Madness, then nothing anyone says will likely change your mind. But im probably guessing you aren’t in college, never went, or don’t buy in to the whole school spirit thing. The thing about it that is so refreshing to me is that these are kids, playing just for the love, no contracts, no guaranteed money, no commercials. The raw emotion and team spirit that these players show is incredible to me and for the next couple weeks i could care less about the NBA, March Madness is where its at.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
danimal says:
ahaaa classic!
March 16th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
blah says:
i’m with quest. Except i don’t follow college simply because i follow players, not teams. teams are just a particular company. The players in college change so much you can’t follow them really.
that, and my college never gets close to a bid. Pretty sure they aren’t D1 either in bball. (JMU, go bulldogs!)
March 16th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
AY says:
I personally proposed for a long time to have the winner of the ncaa tournament play the winner of the wnba playoffs in September to decide which is the better crappy-version of the NBDL. But if some March Madness talk is what it takes to stop the links to espn.com from showing up, then I’m all for it. Yay Matty. And oh yea, we finally got into the tournament with the Stanford coach; go bears, kind of.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Matty D says:
That’s what I’m talkin about iain! These kids leave it all on the court every time they step out there. One of my favorite moments of this past week was Kemba Walker in the 4th OT picking up Jonny Flynn at half court in full defensive stance, clapping his hands and smacking his knees like it was the first half. He had that “Let’s Go!” look on his face 60 minutes into the game. That’s passion! You just won’t see that in the league.
quest??? – If you are older than the age of 8 and don’t understand the “fuzz” about college basketball, then stay where you are. We don’t want you anyway.
Clockwork Orange – I’m gonna hold you to that the next time I’m up there. Maybe April 7th for the celebration party! Let’s get it!
March 16th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
quest??? says:
i think college basketball is retarded, i am in college i played for the university of puerto rico, and im now enrolled at the university of central florida. March Madness is just sub par played basketball watched by extremely drunk fools who, since they are drunk, think that the basketball being played is great.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
goonther says:
ques????
no way man – you cant beat the sport related drama that comes with march madness. crazy schools you’ve never heard of taking out kansas, duke, and … its like having 64 game 7′s in the NBA packed into a little less than a month.
whats the deal with all the cuse grads at dime?? represent boys … class of ’07
March 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
quest??? says:
even the world baseball classic is better than this.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
quest??? says:
let me clarify before someone gets offended, by extremely drunk fools i am referring to the ones in the stands.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
northern lights says:
Matty D… Dime only let you post in March?
Anyway, good read. U shoulda dropped droopy on his ass
March 17th, 2009 at 12:02 am
mules says:
I miss Faegan’s.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:46 am
res. says:
Matty D says:
That’s what I’m talkin about iain! These kids leave it all on the court every time they step out there. One of my favorite moments of this past week was Kemba Walker in the 4th OT picking up Jonny Flynn at half court in full defensive stance, clapping his hands and smacking his knees like it was the first half. He had that “Let’s Go!” look on his face 60 minutes into the game. That’s passion! You just won’t see that in the league.
*****************************************************
so players like, say, Kobe, LeBron, Wade, Paul, Deron Williams, Durant, Dwight Howard, Brandon Roy, Duncan, Parker, Ginobili and countless others aren’t passionate? Do you even watch them at all? Seriously, I like college hoops but I’m sick of hearing people talking about how passionate those unknown college kids are and how little passionate pro players are. Seriously that’s ridiculous. Especially considering that most of the players in the NBA are the same guys college fans used to root for when those players played college ball. Just think to Durant, Westbrook, Lopez, Mayo, Rose etc. Do those players suddenly lost their passion for the game? Or just think to players like Curry, Hansbrough, Griffin and many others who will turn pro in few weeks. Are you going to say that those players aren’t passionate anymore as soon as they turn pro? Seriously?
And oh yeah, do people even realize that teams play 82 games during the NBA regular season, while colleges play only 30 regular season games? So it’s obvious that there are games with little intensity in the pro’s, but that’s normal since it’s not humanly possible giving it all for 82 games. Not to mention that college players KNOW NBA scouts are watching them so they can’t afford to play with little intensity.
Again, I like college hoops and I’ll watch the tournament but let’s stop to use those stereotypes about NBA players. It’s aggravating.
March 17th, 2009 at 6:08 am
iain. says:
res.
I don’t think anyone was calling out NBA players, or accusing them of not being passionate. You made the point yourself, 8-10 preseason games, 82 regular season games, then the playoffs, it would be impossible for these players to play with the intensity of college players for that amount of time. I’m not saying they dont care or playing on any stereotype. It’s just a different game which in my opinion is very refreshing to watch to take a break from the multi-millionaires and the commercials.
Its like someone else said, its 32 mini NBA finals game 7′s, its win or go home, and for most seniors this is the last chance they will EVER have to play at this level. And I personally think it is a joy to watch.
March 17th, 2009 at 7:53 am
bsmooth says:
well written mattyd
I share the same excitement this time of year
March 17th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Mikey F Baby says:
Your name is Matty D and you should be working for Slam Magazine…. is it possible your articles can get worse as we go? Dear Lord, send his ass back to the mailroom
March 17th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Andy says:
excellent post Matty. it really is a toss up between 6 OT’s and patrick chewing that highlights this past week! Ryan looks like a young wil perdue.
Keep it up!!
March 17th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Matty D says:
res. – Let me clarify something. In no way would I ever disrespect the greatest players on the face of the planet by saying that they are not passionate. These guys eat, drink and sleep basketball and to most of them, (Kobe, LeBron, etc..) the only thing important to them is winning a championship.
What I am simply trying to say is that there is a different type of mindset for college ballplayers and the passion is completely different. 1-2% of Division 1 players are going to make it to the league and another 2-3% are going to play professional ball overseas. The rest of them are living and playing for this moment…March Madness.
While there is a certain amount of pride NBA players feel for their teams, it is in no way comparable to the pride they feel for their schools. How many guys spend their whole careers playing for the same team? Not many.
Also take, for example, the 12 NBA players who represented our country this past summer in the Olympics. If you tell me that they play every game with the same amount of passion and pride as they did this past summer for their country, then you’re crazy. These guys said it themselves. Nothing is more important to them than being able to represent their country and bring the gold medal back to the United States.
There are different levels of passion and as iain said, its refreshing to watch the game being played in its purest form without the millions and without the endorsements. Most of these guys know this is the end of the line for their basketball careers and they are going to do anything possible to make it last as long as they can.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
chris says:
march madness is often a coming out party for somebody; i remember antonio mcdyess playing incredibly well in march madness, and turning into an automatic high 1st round selection as a result.
players in the same boat this year include sam young (pitt), terrence williams (lou),cole aldrich (kan), tyreke evans (memphis), demar derozean (usc), teague and johnson at wake forest.
i do not think even most of this year’s ncaa march madness players will ‘know this is the end of the line’ until they reach the age of 26; access to highly competitive basketball is widening, and it is quite clear that ‘late blooming’ is as common in basketball as many other sports, even without steroids. emotions are high, some incredible shots are made, there are a lot of one-sided games, and way too many free throws at the end of a lot of the fairly close games. maybe its too boring, even with lots of simultaneous games, to watch without alcohol!
March 17th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
doc says:
Lets go madness lets go!Nova!
March 17th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
doc says:
quest u dont like it because u from Portugal or some shit like that.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
quest??? says:
doc your ignorance continues to amaze me, you add fuel to the fire with your stereotypical ways. did you understand that or do you need me to write it in a simpler way?
March 17th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
jtese says:
agreed, nba has incredible talent, but march madness is PURE
March 17th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Reed Ewing Frazier says:
Yeah ain’t nothing topping March Madness expect maybe the NFC and AFC championship games. Those college cats really lay it on the line in the tourney.
Fear the Turtle CALI!! Go Terps!!
Go Hoyas!!!(ya’ll let me down this year) in the N.I.T!!
KNICKS UP!! all the rest down!!
March 17th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
SVCat says:
Cookie Monster? Oh Noooooo….Droopy dude must stay drunk to avoid the cookie monster from giving him her cookies.
March Madness is the best time of the year. Better than opening gifts Christmas eve. Better than putting on a brand new pair of kicks. If it wasn’t for TiVo, I would say better than punani…