Emotions run high at the NBA Draft. It makes sense. These kids dream about shaking hands with Commissioner Stern for their entire lives. When they hear their name called, it’s like a lifetime’s worth of work has finally come to fruition. The NBA Draft Lottery is an entirely different animal – there are no young dreamers waiting to walk on stage, no highlight tapes of unbelievable dunks, no families in a green room waiting for phone calls. But there is still emotion – and lots of it.

While the NBA Draft is a pizza-and-beer fueled event to be enjoyed by true, rabid fans, I feel like the Draft Lottery is an event to be spliced into a segment on Jon Stewart‘s The Daily Show. Stewart is a master of ripping on slightly overweight middle-aged white dudes. Before the welcome addition of players as representatives for the lottery teams, the room was filled with a random collection of guys in suits who no one recognized. And when one of those suits heard his team called for the No. 1 pick, he makes a fool of himself. It happened like that every single time. Last year, we were lucky enough that the Bulls’ delegate fit that description.

As Deadspin’s founder Will Leitch brilliantly put it earlier today in his column “Ten Humans”….

This was legitimately the closest Steve Schanwald will ever come to any semblance of athletic activity, and it was glorious: He looks like a guy who just pulled out an amazing final-round victory at Trivia Night at Applebee’s.

Though I’m a Knick fan, I’m going to be rooting for either the Warriors or the Clippers to come away with the top spot, just to see Larry Riley or Andy Roeser dance on national TV. The Knicks’ representative is Allan Houston – he’d have an athletic fist pump and million-dollar smile if they came away with the top spot. That’s too boring.