Smack / Jul 25, 2009 / 12:39 am

Blazers sign Andre Miller, and the dumbest story of the week

Andre Miller

Andre Miller

Everybody’s still waiting on Lamar Odom and the Lakers to reconcile — it’s like sitting through three seasons of “Flavor of Love” when you know Flavor Flav is just gonna stay with his baby’s mother in the end — but in the meantime, perhaps the second-biggest free agent left on the board is now off. Andre Miller agreed to a deal with the Blazers that is rumored to be worth $22 million over three years … Depending on what you think of Jerryd Bayless‘ game, point guard was one of the few weaker areas on a deep Portland roster. Miller allows Steve Blake to go from one of the lower-tier starting PG’s in the League to one of the best backups, and Bayless can step into that role of off-the-bench scoring combo guard that every team seems to need these days. The move also makes Brandon Roy better, as he no longer has to play PG in the fourth quarter and can focus on getting buckets … So where does this put the Blazers in the West? While we don’t know yet what the Jazz will get when they trade Carlos Boozer, for now we like Portland over Utah in their division, with Denver as the toughest competition. Have the But have the Blazers cracked the elite group with the Lakers and Spurs? … Then there’s the Sixers. Lou Williams and Jrue Holiday are the remaining point guards on the roster, and the team is said to be interested in Jamaal Tinsley and Carlos Arroyo. Ideally they can get one of those guys to be the backup, which allows Williams to play that Bayless role we talked about (Lou is better when he just has to score and doesn’t have to, you know, think). And hopefully Holiday can have a solid, harmless, Mario Chalmers-like season as a rookie starting PG. But if Lou does end up starting at the point, get ready for a lot of crunch-time possessions where Andre Iguodala, Elton Brand and Thaddeus Young stand there like decoys while Lou goes 1-on-5 like he’s Kobe‘s midget twin … The Knicks were one of the teams interested in ‘Dre Miller, but lately they’ve been all about Ramon Sessions. And if that deal falls through, it’s really bottom-of-the-barrel time. We hear Von Wafer would be one of the next targets. If Von turns them down, Donnie Walsh may be flashing the Bat-Signal to find where in the world is Lawrence Moten … There hasn’t been much news coming out of the Team USA mini-camp in Vegas — aside from Coach K confirming what we all know, that Kevin Durant is some kind of alien from the planet Massbuckets — but we did come across this video: Josh Smith smashing one on Kevin Love. (Cue the jokes about K-Love having the tape confiscated) … Speaking of dunks, serious question: Would you watch the WNBA more often if there were more dunks? Lowering the rims has been a suggestion people always throw around for the women’s game, but one of our writers thinks it’s plain stupid … The Heat didn’t match the Cavs’ offer sheet for Jamario Moon, which opens the door for Michael Beasley to start at small forward in Miami. Which was probably gonna happen anyway … Was there a dumber sports story this week than the whole Tim Tebow thing? If you didn’t know, one of the SEC coaches didn’t vote Tebow onto the preseason first team All-SEC squad, and there was basically a witch hunt going on all week to find out who it was. Then it turns out it was Steve Spurrier, who admitted he didn’t even fill out his ballot and that a South Carolina staffer did (which is the case with almost every college coach, which is why the “coaches poll” is a joke). The only surprise was that it wasn’t Lane Kiffin, who’s the type to not vote for Tebow just to be a dick. At the end of the day, who really cares whether Tebow is a unanimous preseason all-conference pick? But hey, anything to take the football world’s attention off Brett Favre could be considered a worthwhile story … We’re out like Moon over Miami …

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  • Karma

    good move by blazersssss

  • Josh Tha roc

    Wow the sixers are going to struggle. Shoulda gone after ramon.

  • http://twitter.com/PoppiGEE POPPI GEE

    Yea Blazers are nice at every position now and no excuses, so I hope they don’t go making any. Stay healthy G.O.

    SEC = Best conference in football period!

    Hey don’t be writing about Von going anywhere. Rockets need that dude.

    Ok so after LO signs with LA and Boozer prolly goes to Mia. or Chi. then who is the biggest name left?

    Keeping close eye on Gortat, Bynum and G.O. …are they the future of centers….Let us pray some centers arise that will re-ignite the position.

    Denver has been awfully quiet?

    So now when dudes get dunked on are you going to hear reports saying “Confiscate the tape!”

    Hurry up football season.

  • http://dimemag.com Austin Burton

    @GEE — I’m hoping kids like Derrick Favors and Josh Smith (Kentwood H.S. in Washington) continue getting better, grow a couple more inches, or whatever else they gotta do so they can hold down the center position in the future.

  • sh!tfaced

    Someone pls end the LA/Odom drama already. It’s just like some lame TV show where you know the ending but still hold your breath anyway. We all know Odom will end up with the Lakers.

  • jzsmoove

    Top 4 in the West are now, Lakers, Spurs, Denver and Portland. Portland is athletic and young (Miller sorta) and would be hella exciting to watch expecially when Webster and Outlaw are clicking. Grampa Oden too.

  • http://www.luckylester.com Lucky Lester

    I think this is great for the Blazers. As good as Turk is, I think they needed a solid point more. They have some really good young guys that would have had minutes crushed by Turk, and all Miller is going to do is still minutes from Bart Simpson. They might not have gotten what they wanted, but I think Miller ends up being the best thing they could have gotten from free agency. They are stacked with young talent.

  • http://www.luckylester.com Lucky Lester

    And trades/free agency in basketball sucks. It seems like every move is lopsided (basketball wise) because every “poor team” is trying to move salary – how stupid is a trade where getting a guy that is retiring is more important than getting actual help for your team? The Knicks can be stoked about getting Cuttino Mobley when he can’t play anymore because of his heart. That’s the dumbest shit ever.

  • http://www.luckylester.com Lucky Lester

    The shit would hit the fan if the Cowboys sold their first round pick – I’m telling you, no salary situation in sports is more f’d than hoops…

  • http://dimemag.com Big Freeze

    I live in Gainesville, FL, and I graduated from UF and I’m about to back for Law School. Trust me, it’s Tebow Time 24/7 down here in G-ville. Anyways, I am so sick of all these Tim Tebow “news” stories. It’s out of control. I just read a story on espn about Tebow’s insurance policy. Are there any other players on UF’s football team?

  • doc

    Dre Miller aint leading Portland nowhere.Its all good to drink the kool-aid right now though.

  • Flying_Aussie_Dutchman

    I was listening to one of radio stations here in Australia (Nova for those who know), and they said some NBA player E-MAILED his fiancée, 5hrs before they were meant to get married, to call it off…

    Anyone confirm this?

  • doc

    Yeah Aussie the gay one on San An.

  • Flying_Aussie_Dutchman

    Ahhh yeah I just saw it was Richard Jefferson

    Andrei Kirilenko still has the best deal when it comes to a girlfriend/wife

  • Greg

    I don’t think Miller fits Portland all that well. Portland plays a system very similar to Orlando’s: a lot of picks and three point shooters spacing the floor. Blake fit that very well because of how well he shoots threes and the spacing he creates as a result. That spacing helps Roy’s drives and the two man games of Roy and Aldridge. Miller, on the other hand, is a horrendous three point shooter and if the floor is shrunk as a result, then that might negatively effect Roy and Aldridge.

  • http://twitter.com/PoppiGEE POPPI GEE

    @Austin Burton no doubt, good call. They both gotta grow though (6’9) like you said and Favors needs to hit the weight room you ask me.
    Still one of them should hit 7 ft right?

    Read where Josh Smith got low interest in G-Town. Would love to see him there and perhaps bring back that Center domination G’Town once had.

  • http://dimemag.com Austin Burton

    @GEE — As much as I’d like to see him at G’town, I think Josh Smith ends up at Washington or UCLA. Just my hunch.

  • Coop

    Nice editing. ;)

  • K Dizzle

    Speakin of Denver, they reupped with Birdman and let DJ go, but what’s the deal with Kleiza? Solid 3 man who can put up buckets

  • That’s whats up

    I thought the biggest (and worst) Tebow story was that he ain’t dipped his wick in any punani yet…….

    faith or no faith, steer clear of the showers

  • Underdog

    @ That’s whats up

    Cause Tebow is a virgin, you’re implying he’s gay. That’s like me saying your mom’s a ho cause she wasn’t a virgin when she banged your pop!

    Quit that nonsense homey! Just because you don’t live your life to honor God, why you diggin in on Tim?

  • http://hornetshype.com ticktock6

    You missed the best story of yesterday– Stephon Marbury livestreaming himself for 24 hours. It was utterly weird and amazing at the same time. The man can talk. A lot.

  • http://www.geocities.com/dagomardeg Dagomar

    Breaking news: Rasho signed with the Raps, for 1 year/1.9 mil. Great move by the Raps if you ask me.

  • http://www.geocities.com/dagomardeg Dagomar
  • Dz

    What the hell Dime? Not a single mention of Stephon Marbury’s 24 hour webcast? It was cool. How many other NBA players will sit down _for 24 hours_ and take questions from fans and give expansive answers to them? And I’m not talking about some jackass twittering about what he’s shopping for in Best Buy. I’m talking about Q:”Who’s the funniest guy in the NBA?” A:”Kendrick Perkins”. Would you have known that if Steph hadn’t told you?

  • robmo35

    Great move by the Blazers. I thought the stupidest story of the week was Austin burton’s prattle about the WNBA

  • Spliff 2 My Lou

    @ Flying Aussie Dutchman

    What’s the time difference between Australia and the U.S.? Two weeks?

  • dk

    @24 NBA players are to busy idiot…

  • ShowKase

    @ Big Freeze – I go to UF too and trust me, the best football news we got going right now is Tebow. The other stuff *cough* Doe getting arrested again *cough* aint too positive. Smh.

  • doc

    I think Tebow was bullshitting.A 20 something year old man thats a virgin and its TIM FUCKING TEBOW.Yeah sure how many UF bitches laughed when they heard that interview.

  • Ian

    anyone hear the jordan podcast lol about getting on a plane and smacking van gundy for calling kobe the greatest laker ever.

  • Kevin

    Tebow might be a virgin … he just gets TONS of dome.

    BTW, this is supposed to be his girl: http://www.manolith.com/2009/07/09/tim-tebows-girlfriend/

  • JC

    Good to see some Gators on the board. Hope our basketball team can get its shiite together so we can talk about Gator hoops on a basketball website lol! I figure the biggest reason the unanimous thing is a story is because it’s one of the biggest no-brainers in the college football realm. It wasn’t supposed to be a story because everybody knew what it was. It’s not like LeBron staying (ok, we figured that could happen) or leaving (ok, we figured that could happen). This is like the Timberwolves winning the ‘ship this coming season. Who woulda seen that coming? Besides, accolades are accolades. While Tim Tebow may not care because he’s from the planet NoPussJustGridiron, it’s relatively awesome from a career resume standpoint. And because its the SEC, ESPN (don’t forget the network’s new deal with the SEC) is capitalizing on the sheer lunacy that engulfs its fan base. So yeah, it’s easy to see why a lotta people are like who the eff cares, but it’s a combination of factors that contribute to this turning into a headline.

  • Ian

    kevin the girl in the bikini (a model) is not the same girl that is with tebow

  • Kevin

    @Ian — All I saw was big titties.

  • Ian

    ^^^^^^^LOL

  • Kevin

    @JC
    Gators should be nice in basketball even without Calathes. Kenny Boynton is gonna get buckets, and I like Erving Walker. Do they have any big men, though? I’m wondering if Billy D’s success had more to do with Anthony Grant than we all knew. Grant was the one who recruited Noah, Horford, Brewer and all those guys, right?

  • LakeShow84

    LMAO @ Kevin & Ian

    I fell into a quick 3 minute coma..

  • That’s whats up

    is titty-fuckin’ considered losing your virginity?

    @ underdog
    why is it I don’t live my life to honor God? Because this is the first time your bitch-ass ever posted on here.
    After you swallow my shaft, down to the base, then come up for air I will accept your apology. On second thought, just go fuck yourself (and keep your virginity)

  • weezy f

    the wnba all star game is on abc and wow people are just standing around on D its horrible

  • Don

    Some of you foul mouthed punks need to just keep your filth to yourselves. Not everyone wants to sleep in the sewers. IF Tebo is a virgin, good for him. He lives according to his beliefs. And it’s really none of any of our business.

  • Coop

    I have no idea what that’s a reference to but I agree entirely. Well said, old fruit.

  • Ian

    Don?? What the f… Have u been reading no one is bashing his beliefs or calling him a fag. In fact its the other way around most of us are calling bs on him not getting any. We are just having fun with it you need to get that stick out your ass on this one. Virgin or not who cares? But we need shit to talk about till the season starts.

  • bill

    thank you for that link. oh my goodness……………