Random Question of the Day
Diddy
In college I had a friend named Joel who was famous for asking the most random questions. It would be 8 a.m. in the dining hall and he’d pop up with something like, “What if you’d spent the night with a girl, and you woke up and found out she’d peed the bed?” Or during a study group, he’d break out a random, “How much money would it take for you to wear somebody else’s dirty drawers for a whole day? Like, they wore them for three days without showering and now they’re yours.”
After a while, any random question was called a “Joel Question,” and after a while it worked its way into everybody’s routine. One of the safer Joel Questions I’ll ask people sometimes during a lull in conversation:
If you were planning a blowout birthday party for yourself and you could book any four acts to perform, who would it be?
It can be current-day or in their prime, living or dead, and it doesn’t just have to be music. (You can pick Acrodunk if you want.) For example, I’d want to open my party with Cedric the Entertainer doing a stand-up set, followed by something like Bobby Brown in his prime, Snoop Dogg, then closing it out with Diddy. (Love him or hate him, the man puts on a show.)
Who makes your roster?
-->
August 24th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Balla says:
Diddy?
You could have any act living or dead perform and you would choose DIDDY??
wow.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
NTstateOFmind says:
Hugh Hefner.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Austin Burton says:
Ain’t no party like a Diddy party. Seriously, if he shows up, guaranteed everybody has a good time.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Yoooo says:
No jawns at all man?? What kind of man can book any kind of act and doesn’t pick a bitty or 2?
Give me Dave Chappelle, Trey Songz, my boo Keri Hilson and… Lola Love since she’s rapping now. Her ass is suuuuuuuuuuper fat, and she’s bad
August 24th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
LaMont says:
Doug E. Fresh would be the MC.
Opening act – Robin Harris followed by
The Roots and closing it out would be Run-DMC
August 24th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Austin Burton says:
@Yoooo — Good point. I might have to replace B-Brown with Keyshia Cole. Or Keyshia can just come to the party; she doesn’t have to work.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Young Money (R.I.P B-Dub) says:
Opening act? Redd Foxx.
Mint Condtion For the Singing.
And to Close the Show? Jamie Foxx. Dude is on Point. Can Sing, Act & Joke.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Shrink This says:
Richard Pryor
Eddie Murphy
NWA
Jenna Jameson
August 24th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
S-SiN says:
Diddy really?
Mine would have to be Opening – Dave Chappelle followed by Chris Rock, and to close it out with the musical act i gotta go with Jimmy Hendrix and Death Row camp from 2Pac, Dre and Snoop days.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Drink the Haterade says:
Opening would be Bill Cosby
The it would swith to Flyleaf
with Emirill doin the cooking
and my clsoing act would be Micheal Jackson (that dude had people passin out)
August 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
lifep says:
I think Joel’s spirit lives on in a friend of mine.
Open with Sinbad
Musical acts: Corey Red, Phanatik, Trip Lee, Lecrae
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Yoooo says:
Word your buggin… Unless you tryna have a coke head type of affair, I’d leave Bobby off the list. And Keyshia Cole has a mustache… thats ass
Yo check my site out when you guys get a chance MenWithGirls.Com… that dude Spliff 2 My Lou comes through and he digs it.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Blue says:
@S-SiN…
I gotta go with yours, but replace the Death Row camp with Led Zeppelin…best rock band that ever lived!!!
August 24th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Yoooo says:
and I might have to sub out Dave for Eddie Murphy btw
August 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Andrej says:
the game
gucci mane
ya boy
joe budden
August 24th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
That's Whats Up says:
I’d get it jumpin’ with Teddy Riley and GUY, switch it up with a little Pussycat Dolls for visual stimulation, have Jimi Hendrix headline MY Birthday and then have Lenny Williams close it out during baby making time……”Cause I Looooooooove You !!!!”
August 24th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Austin Burton says:
@Yooo — I said Bobby in his prime, not now. And we don’t say bad things about Keyshia on this website.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
karizmatic says:
Okay yeah….I’d have Chris Rock to open up. Then I’d go with The Roots, Busta Rhymes and close out with Nas. I don’t even know how that would work all together, but that would be my lineup.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
karizmatic says:
Yes and definitely no bad things about Keyshia on this site. LOL. That’s my wife…she just doesn’t know it yet.
August 24th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Spliff 2 My Lou says:
George Lopez would open up and host the event.
Tupac on one stage,
Sublime on the other stage,
and scantily clad Victoria Secret Angels providing the eye candy while simultaneously mingling through the crowd.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Vinny says:
Mc-Buffy-and I’ll pick her outfit!
comedy by Chris Rock
Pussycat Dolls-just so i can watch Nicole close-up.
and close with pole dancing and entertaing from Jessica Rabbit-aka whatever her name is! Oh MELYSSA fORD.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Vinny says:
entertainment-my bad with the spelling
August 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
POPPI GEE says:
Opening act and MC for the night would prolly be
Arie Spears – If you ain’t seen ya boi on the Shaq and Cedric the Entertainer joint do the impressions of Snoop, Jay, LL, DMX all in one song it’s bananas and his stand up is straight too.
Follow pimping up with
Wyclef Jean – Boy lays down a SERIOUS show and have the Roots as a live band.
Lauryn Hill – IN HER PRIME and then have her and Wyclef rock some fugee joints together …Classic(They can leave Pras)
Close out with The Late Great Notorious BIG (along with some cameos from some BadBoy cats in their prime Jay, Mase, 112, Craig Mack and Diddy).
That would be like that!
I like the questions of the day for the offseason. Nice one.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Spliff 2 My Lou says:
@Yooo
hell yeah I roll through that shit everyday. I don’t always comment but I be reading your posts. You on point and funny.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Yoooo says:
You mean to tell me you would take Keyshia over Keri?
Dog, Keyshia is NOT real like that. If she was on the street and didnt have the bread she has now you’d walk right past her little ass.
I can name 10 female singers I’d take over Ms. Cole.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Yoooo says:
And Austin are you trying to say that Bobby in his prime wasn’t doing coke?? C’mon buddy…
August 24th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Austin Burton says:
Bobby in his prime wasn’t OBVIOUSLY doing coke. He wasn’t talking out the side of his mouth yet.
Keyshia IS real like that. If she didn’t have money, that’s all the more reason she’d need me in her life. We might just have different tastes, though. Keri Hilson is just OK to me.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Yoooo says:
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Keri is just ok? Take that back yo, thats like callin my mama a hoe…
List of women I’d take over Keyshia who sing/rap(not in order):
1. Beyonce
2. Keri
3. Rihanna
4. Solange
5. Ciara
6. Corinne Bailey Rae
7. Teedra Moses
8. Jessica Simpson
9. Brooke Hogan
10. That hispanic chick from 3LW
Damn there might be like 20-30 I’d pick over Keyshia. But I mean, to each his own… I guess
August 24th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Spliff 2 My Lou says:
I’m not a big fan of Keysia Cole as a whole but I have to say her imperfect teeth are sexy. I have a thing for dental imperfections on beautiful women. I don’t why I just do.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Yoooo says:
thats gotta be a joke
August 24th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
SayItAintSo says:
AB, you Redhawks are a goofy bunch. This Joel character sounds EXACTLY like my good friend that ended up at SU.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
NC says:
Richard Pryor
James Brown and the JBs
The Beastie Boys
Michael Jackson (pre Bad)
With special guests of honour
Bill Clinton
Julius Caesar
and Kelly LeBrock (in her Weird Science prime)
August 24th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
SayItAintSo says:
P.S.
Blue Scholars
Damien Marley
Snoop Dogg
Sublime
August 24th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
NC says:
And there’d be a basketball court setup with a 2 on 2 game featuring
Maravich
Jordan
Robertson
Earl the Pearl
August 24th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
isotope says:
Jesus!
and everybody’s invited
August 24th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
money says:
the roots would most definitely have to be up there somewhere. kanye (rapping, no autotune) too, im surprised no one has mentioned it b/c the glow in the dark tour was crazy.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
BiG ShoT BoB says:
Hold up Kesha from the Bay it don’t get more real than that…Austin know whats up.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Michael says:
Mila Kunis
August 24th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
len-e says:
jimi hendrix was a brilliant call
i’d go like this
rihanna
mf doom
roots manuva
kanye west
August 24th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
AVeezie says:
I open up with some Jessie McCartney
then some bustin Coolio
then Yanni
finished with a Backstreet Boys acapella reunion
August 24th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Tig obamo says:
aight mine would be dave chappelle then max b and french montana and superhead cuz she makes everyone happy
August 24th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
No Deal says:
Tom Petty
Bruce Springsteen
ZZ Top
The Beatles
August 24th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Dray says:
I’m a start of with dancehall with movado and beenie man taking turns and I’m a finish of with lucky dube followed by bob marley…
August 24th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
David_Brandon says:
@18,
ok, that was a nice list, man.
i’d have my list like this…observe, fellas:
host:
jaime foxx
stand up set:
my man dave chappelle, the other dizzle lol
music:
kanye, lupe and pharrell on the mic
the roots get an honorable mention as a live band.
closing it out:
diddy. since he’s an entertainer now and pretty much cut the music out, why not. he gets shit crackin…he had penguins at his party a few years back. penguins.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
baron von faulk says:
I’d have a 5-day festival, themed by decade, with funk/rap and rock stages
60′s
FUNK: James Brown (MC) + JB’s
ROCK: Hendrix, Led Z
COMEDY: Lenny Bruce
70′s
FUNK: P-Funk (George Clinton = MC)
ROCK: Black Sabbath
COMEDY: Richard Pryor
80′s
RAP: Eazy-E & Too $hort w/ Doug E Fresh (MC) on beats
ROCK: Iron Maiden
COMEDY: Eddie Murphy
90′s
RAP: Dr. Dre, Ice Cube & Snoop Dogg (MC) perform THE CHRONIC, Wu-Tang Clan
ROCK: Sepultura, Rage Against the Machine, Alice in Chains
COMEDY: Bill Hicks
00′s
RAP: The Roots, Kool Keith performs Spankmaster and Matthew
ROCK: Mastodon, Mars Volta
COMEDY: Dave Chappelle (MC), Louis CK
August 24th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
baron von faulk says:
Oh shit and you hafta throw Bob Marley in the 70′s
August 24th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
the cynic says:
Dave Chappelle, Led Zepplin, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley
August 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
keegan says:
hmm…i like the stand-up idea at one so id go with rickey smiley for my first act…second ima have to go with kid n play in an attempt to turn it into a mini house party lol…3rd is dre n snoop performin all the chronic ish…n finally biggie n pac in their pre-beef days (kinda like the madison square garden performance they did with shyheim)
August 25th, 2009 at 3:35 am
the R says:
Chris Rock,
Snoop Dogg,
KRS-One,
Michael Franti.
what a party !!! u’re all invited !
August 25th, 2009 at 4:08 am
fLaVa says:
Michael Blackson to open (dude is funny as hell.. google/youtube him). Then follow it up with the Fugees in their prime and then end it with Biggie
August 25th, 2009 at 7:03 am
Sebastiano says:
Mila Kunis
August 25th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Sweet English says:
yall on some sucker shit.
How about that massive slinky dude from the half time show.
August 25th, 2009 at 8:29 am
quick wit it says:
red hot chili peppers open for jay-z (with the roots band like unplugged) open for jimi hendrix open for james brown….
…honorable mentions who didn’t make the four- NAS, Common, kanye, the strokes, the flaming lips, girl talk, ray charles (it would have to be a black tie gala if he played tho)
August 25th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Chicagorilla says:
This is easy,
I open with Fred G. Sanford a.k.a. Redd Fox
2nd would be Eddie Murphy
3rd would be Janet Jackson from the Velvet rope tour with Beyonce as a feature guest
Last, with everyone’s jucies flowing from Janet’s “Rope Burn” performance, I’d finish with Cherokee “D’ass” and Tahiry(sorry Joe Buddens) PERFORMING with/on Me.
Easily would be the best birthday ever.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:36 am
M Intellect says:
How the fuck does Austin ask for 4 acts someone lists a fucking multi-decade festival?!
Look – I have typed a long ass comment before but no festival line-up!
Next dudes will tell you what they’re gonna be wearing to their events!
August 25th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Shawon D says:
Chris Rock opens
De La Soul (they get to include any special guest that’s ever appeared on one of their tracks)
Since we never got to see it blossom, a performance by The Commission
Then close it down with the Godfather of Soul
And just for M Intellect, I’d wear Hammer pants to my event
August 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
mrcanadian says:
Dime, fire Austin immediately, because this ship is sinking with him at the wheel. wow, what a useless article.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:05 am
shake&bake says:
Bernie Mac
Led Zeppelin
Rage Against the Machine
Jenny McCarthy stripping
August 25th, 2009 at 11:11 am
dukesman2000 says:
The Lox
Martin Lawrence
Buju Banton
Beres Hammond
August 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Celts Fan says:
Comedy to start: either Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle, Jim Norton, or Jim Jeffries (depending on how foul I want the night to be. Prob. end up w/ Chris Rock)
then Sublime followed up by Bob Marley and wrapping up with 1980′s MJ coming with FIRE.
(btw, there’d be some hip hop in here if 90% of shows didn’t involve listening to 8 towel-waving jerk@ffs yelling over the guy I actually paid to see. Don’t worry, this didn’t happen recently and I’m not still bitter…)
August 25th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Celts Fan says:
I wish there was a way to squeeze Jigga in too. Seen him 3 or 4 times and dude always puts on a great show. He’d be #5 if it were a 5 person show.
August 25th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
MJAX says:
I’m opening with Whodini, sliding into Janet, flowin’ into The Roots, and closing it down with Michael….or I’m looking for a VIP pass to LaMont’s party….
August 27th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
mellmeister_straightfromShaolin says:
I’m Opening it with Dave Chapelle… putting some skits on Marbury… i know dude got ways to mock starbury more. doing crazy shit like eating vaseline… hahaha!
Have Game Girls (HipHope Honeys) Dance to the tune of Sir Mix-a-lots “Baby Got Back”
Ciara Harris performs then gives me a lap dance to top it…
Then Meagan Good be down an Rides with me…
that’s a party!!!
Cot Damn!!! That’ll be better than how Eddy Curry feels about Krispy Kreme….
I’m Out Like Dave Chapelle…