Smack / Nov 28, 2009 / 5:10 am

My Name is Earl

Earl Boykins

Earl Boykins

What would be more frustrating: Having a behemoth like Shaq make your summer weight-lifting look pointless when he bowls you over and dunks on your head? Or getting lit up by Earl Boykins, who — once he’s done lighting you up — sits on the bench and you can see his feet swinging? … D-Wade and crew got a taste of that Boykins-fueled frustration last night, when Earl (10 pts, 9 asts) took over the fourth quarter and led the Wizards to a win. Creating space for mid-range jumpers and handing out dimes to Antawn Jamison (24 pts, 13 rebs) and the other bigs, Boykins played so good that Gilbert Arenas never saw the floor in the fourth. One time Mario Chalmers took his eyes off Boykins for a split-second while bringing the ball up, and in a flash Boykins dipped under him, stole the ball, and scored a layup on the other end … And even if Arenas wanted to get in at two-guard next to Boykins, that wouldn’t have worked, either. Nick Young (22 pts) was getting buckets and playing solid D against Wade … When Andray Blatche went behind his back and shook braid out of Udonis Haslem‘s head, then dropped a no-look pass to Brendan Haywood for a dunk, was that not the greatest single moment he’s had in the NBA? And doesn’t that realization kind of hurt if you’re a Wizards fan? … Friday in Miami when pretty much everybody had the day off from work — no wonder there was a sea of empty seats for this game. But please believe the free clinics around South Beach are gonna be PACKED Monday morning … Why can’t the Knicks make their own players look as good as they make everyone else look? Last year Kobe had his 61, LeBron had his 52-9-11 or whatever it was, and Wade gave the Knicks 55 one time. Last night Carmelo had his turn, stamping 50 points (17-28 FG, 15-16 FT) on New York in a game that actually went down to the wire. Carmelo’s last two points came on free throws with 16 seconds left when NY was fouling to try and stay in the game. It didn’t work … Some might feel bad for Al Harrington having his 41-point effort overshadowed by ‘Melo, but we feel worse for Wilson Chandler. He’s always the one getting slapped with industrial-grade meat when these all-world players are having a career night and he hardly gets any help … As the Rockets were clanging their way through a seven-minute stretch of the third quarter where they went scoreless and basically cost themselves the game to San Antonio (the Spurs’ first road win of the season), Clyde Drexler offered some advice: “I would’ve put my head down and run over 10 people to get to the line.” The play-by-play guy added, “You’d jump over them.” Clyde wasn’t lying, either. But Trevor Ariza is Houston’s go-to guy right now, and he just doesn’t have that instinct in his game yet. Too often he’s moving away from contact and taking bad fadeaways when his team is struggling instead of attacking and forcing the issue … We’re guessing ESPN originially intended to air Suns/Wolves as their day-after-Thanksgiving 9:30 p.m. EST game — obviously for the Ricky Rubio vs. Steve Nash factor — but changed it to Bucks/Thunder after the Wolves became tragically boring and Brandon Jennings started to blow up. (Oh yeah, somebody in the Dime office wanted to remind everybody that he predicted Jennings would be this good this soon. So there you go.) … Young Money’s big national TV debut was a letdown, as he was held to 12 points on 3-of-11 shooting and got worked over by Russell Westbrook (20 pts, 7 asts), who going into the season was supposed to be one of the young PG’s having a breakout … Kevin Durant put up 33 points and 12 boards in OKC’s win. Other stat lines from Friday: Dirk Nowitzki dropped 31 points (11-13 FT) in a blowout of the Pacers; Baron Davis posted 25 points and 10 assists in the Clippers’ win at Detroit; Jamal Crawford scored 24 off the bench to lead Atlanta past the Sixers; Marc Gasol put up 19 points and 15 boards in Memphis’ win over Portland; Gerald Wallace went for 31 points and 14 boards in an upset win over the Cavs; and Tyreke Evans scored 21 to lead the Kings past the Nets, who fell to 0-16 and merely have to beat the Lakers on the road to avoid tying the worst start of all-time … Like you needed any further proof that Paul Pierce is a cold-blooded assassin on the court: In the fourth quarter of Celtics/Raptors, Pierce blew past Rasha Nesterovic (why was Rasho guarding Pierce?) and met Chris Bosh at the rim, where he dunked on him AND kneed him in the balls. Then on top of that, Pierce glared at Bosh while he was curled up on the ground and walked away without so much as a “You alright?” Cold … Question: Why is every news outlet making sure to tell us that Tiger Woods‘ car accident was “minor,” then they proceed to cover it like it’s the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase? Second question: Is anybody going to be surprised if it turns out that the real story is that Tiger and his wife were arguing, he tried to leave, she bashed out his SUV’s window with a golf club, and that’s why he pulled out of the driveway so fast that he ran into a fire hydrant and a tree? … We’re out like Rubio vs. Nash …

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  • Josh

    Reading those comments on Austin’s article about Jennings is hilarious, in hindsight.

    And please, if you had a wife who looking liked that, AND she had a twin sister? You wouldn’t be arguing, no matter WHAT she says.

  • ab_40

    cleveland… what the. man they had Bron playing at the four scored 5 points quick got back in the game and then they set andy “worse hands then kwame” varejo(HE SUCKS) back in. if you wanna develop JJ Hickson you need him in the game at those times. Shaq, LBJ, Parker, Moon and williams. that’s a veteran crunch time line up with shooters and a great inside presence. varejo is not a real basketball player. and why is gerald wallace in no MVP conversations? he’s scoring and rebounding like crazy. and PP on Bosh haha WOW

  • truvietboi

    who is a better fantasy player at this momment in time?

    luol deng or mo williams

  • Josh Tha roc

    Right now MVP is Dirk. No question.
    Mip m gasol. By a country mile.
    By season end tyreke will have roy ( where is Blake )
    and if you didn’t realize Westbrook is breaking out.


    BTW The Pistons did play also last night guys, eventhough we lost (lol).

    I also predicted Brandon would be a beast this year.

  • yoda

    and if it was other way around, that pp was on floor, they would have to bring wheelchair to get him of the court

  • http://uoregon.edu sans

    you should have to be a 3 yr player to reach most improved…that damn Shooter McGavin is out to make sure Tiger knows that it is really his tour, that he should listen to what he has to say, or he’s gonna pay…to which Tiger retorted, “or then we can walk on the bay, make things out of clay, hey, we just may” while bleeding and unconscious next to his driveway…yeah…damn that Shooter McGavin

  • QQ

    Nice to see Pierce act like he really made Bosh fell because of the dunk, not because of the knee. You fucking DESTROYED his balls, for crying out loud. Of course, he’ll fall down.

  • gyp

    I’m a lawyer and, man, your take on the tiger woods crash is spot-on. If you guys are not too busy writing Smack I’ve got a murder case or 2 I’d like your help solving.

  • That’s what’s up

    Arenas sitting out in the 4th and the Wizards getting the win is not coincidence

    New Jersey Nots

    I think Tiger was lit up, he was heading down to the club to pick up a piece and the wifey smashed his window at the end of the driveway and Tiger couldn’t see the road from the glass shards in his eyes

  • that’s what’s up

    No, actually I think Tiger came back from his bitches house, Ellen went bonkers, Tiger tried to bounce and caught a 3-wood upside his head

  • Spliff 2 My Lou

    Shaq’s return and a Cleveland loss is also not a coincidence.

  • Jsul

    If ur going to use the info on the tiger situation u read on tmz, at least credit them

  • http://dimemag.com eyes

    I’ve called for nick young all season. Duh. Shouldn’t have took a injury for him to start. I’m starting to dislike Skiles coaching. Why is brandon sub’d so much ? Luke plausible starter min. Bj played 29 min last night. He wasnt hurt, foul trouble or playing bad. The Thunder played well especially Baby Ice. Have the bucks been bad since Redd’s return.

    The teams best player is frustrated. Did that 55 bother people like that. The game isn’t 1 on 1. No help side. If brandon gets his green light back & go back 2 film & mins of earlier games. Winning starts again. Scott Skiles has to be the angriest coach on the sidelines. He’s getting to hands on and its causing the losing. Brandon has earned the franchise tag already. Don’t move backwards. Ride your horse. U could replace super sub lol. Luke is defensive stopper. LOL. Also why did Scotty quit wth 6 mins left on a NBA TV Game. Down 15. What was the lesson. He might be sub happy or alpha male # 1.

    As a buck fan & one who watches every game. Will be 1st to start the fire Skiles. I almost wished he went to the knicks or played for a free wheeling coach. No bj the bucks would be I’m knicks & nets territory. M.Redd please take a few off.

  • K Dizzle

    So the Bobcats beat Cleveland?…….Could barely tell from readin smack…

  • high release

    I’m guessing that Woods was never in the vehicle. How about the Mrs. smashing him with the club, he stumbles into the street, maybe she gives it to him again. Then, to cover it up, she drives over a fire hydrant and taps into a tree herself. She gets out and smashes the back window, if she hadn’t already. But no way is she capable of dragging him over seats and out the back of an SUV, ha! Trouble…

    That said, it was pretty sad to see the Bucks get worked last night. Any sort of inside presence would’ve helped a lot. Gadzuric is horrible, and apparently Francisco Elson is not an option. Without Bogut’s defensive pivot, it could be a long long month or so.

  • james p

    jenning is going downhill as long as mike redd is there. It was just fine with a jenning and bougut combo.

  • D.H.

    I think you guys nailed the Tiger situation dead on. The Pierce dunk on Bosh was cold. Pierce probably weighs more than Bosh; there’s some weight behind that knee.

  • http://dimemag.com eyes

    Another thing u noticed from yesterday’s game. Jennings is afraid to pick up cheap fouls. Hence stern/refs. Uphill battle refs,stern,trigger happy skiles/ridnour father. He got subbed at the 7:36 mark the commentator even asked. “Why is he sitting ? Scotty come on.” Were his exact words. Everyone tuned in to check bj. Skiles also said his son is the mvp thus far this season. Moment of longgggggggggg silence. Lose Skiles now or trade bj. Way 2 ride a wave. The Nba and those in power. Lol. My man told me Skiles is still mad penny. Took all his light. Way to go scotty let’s not let brandon get ahead of himself. I think it’s the other way around. I’m sure a lot of viewers changed the channel. The commentator asked if we were back in ITALY. SCOTTIE WHAT ARE U DOING. ARE U HATING OR FEEL BAD FOR LUKE. Also why do they move Luke 2 the one wth Jennings at the 2. Something bad is going down in bucks town. The business.

  • Dz

    Worst thing about Pierce’s dunk on Bosh: even the Raptors’ color commentator, who’s the worst homer in the league, was ragging on the Raptors for looking like pussies, saying somebody on the team should have stood up for Bosh. Guess Bosh won’t be staying next year.

  • Jason

    Dz, you must be crazy if you seriously think the Raptors’ commentators are bigger homers than the Celtics’ commentators. Heinsohn is the biggest homer of all time.

  • balderon

    Pierce doesent know how much it hurts to get kneed in the balls cause he obviously doesent have any

  • quest???

    guess who is going to the sixerrss???

  • Jimmy_jacked_corn

    @Jsul — TMZ? Dude, EVERY media outlet is reporting the same info, including the legit ones.

  • http://threeb.forumotion.net/ Dean

    WOW, your so right about Tiger and what happend. I doubt it will ever ( the truth ) come out like that. But that totally make sense!

    Hahah, coach Nate M. goes with Miller/Roy in the 4th and they end of losing! That’s what happens when you don’t play Blake. Duh.

    Also, this OKC team is scary good! Now with the additions of Harden & Ibaka, watch out.

  • http://threeb.forumotion.net/ Dean

    Hey, Tiger better be thankful that his wife didn’t do what that bitch Brazilian Amanda did to Arturo Gatti!!

    Watch your back Tiger!!!

  • http://uoregon.edu sans
  • dz

    @21. I used to think Tommy was the worst, till I started watching Raptors TV. Listen to that guy scream on about “Il Mago”.

  • http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/ProphetGK ProphetGK

    That shot on Bosh was uncalled for! LBJ gonna get payback, you wait and see…

  • Kermit The Washington

    Why oh why are we talking about Tiger Woods instead of the Cavs loss to the Bobcats?

  • http://invictusonline.org Burton Haynes

    It’s all been a miss understanding with Tiger Woods. When he asked rachel to shag his balls he only wanted her to pick them up at the range!