The All-Mancrush Team
Zach Randolph, Dime #19
Don’t you hate it when somebody clowns you, but what they’re saying is true?
Responding to one Dime reader (appropriately named Eugene) accusing the magazine of an “institutional bias” against LeBron James, another reader, control, pointed out: “I think the main people Dime jocks on undeserving is Rondo, Stephan (sic) Jackson back in the day, guys who have potential but don’t fulfill it (Beasley/Gerald Green) and AB has this weird and sick mancrush on Zach Randolph.”
And I don’t even have a comeback. Yeah, I can admit I’m a bigger fan of Z-Bo than just about anybody I know who isn’t related to him, but I have my reasons: When I was but a college kid, getting my little writing grind on, I began freelancing for Dime. After knocking out a few “What’s My Name?” profiles — Kevin Love, Mario Chalmers and Jon Brockman as high schoolers — I was assigned my first major feature, with Zach Randolph as the subject. Z-Bo was cooperative and open in the interviews, I wrote a good story, and the wheels were in motion to scoring my dream job. Ever since then, he’s always been cool and brings up that Dime #19 feature when I talk to him. Plus, I just like dude’s game.
So, fine, I’ll admit to a mancrush on Z-Bo. But he’s not the only one. Alert the Pause Police, because this could go down a bad path…
THE ALL-MANCRUSH TEAM
PG — Anybody from Seattle
Hometown allegiance never dies. Aaron Brooks is the best “pure” PG of the group, while Rodney Stuckey, Jason Terry and Nate Robinson fit into the “combo” mode. You could even throw Brandon Roy in there, as he is basically Portland’s lead guard. On their way to the League you’ve got Isaiah Thomas (Washington), Peyton Siva (Louisville) and Tony Wroten Jr. (Garfield H.S.). And finally, over the MLK holiday I watched my alma mater (Franklin H.S.) and found the next Seattle point guard to keep an eye on: Arell Hennings. He’s just a freshman, and he’s a good 5-7 and 140 pounds, but the kid has The Vision. He sees things. Plus his handle is nice, he’s got a little floater in the lane, and in the tradition of Franklin guards, he’s a pest on defense. If he gets a decent jumper, he’ll make some noise on the national level. You heard it here first.
SG — Tracy McGrady
I already loved T-Mac’s game from the Orlando days (who didn’t?), but like Zach, this was taken to another level after I got to meet and write a feature on him. Super-cool dude, welcomed us into his home, and we produced a solid piece for the cover of Dime #27. And I still love his game — when he’s healthy, of course. It was only recently that I backed off my claims that T-Mac isn’t that far off Kobe and D-Wade in the two-guard ranking, but only because the injuries became an undeniable problem. Count me among the group who wouldn’t have minded seeing Mac start the All-Star Game.
SF — Danny Granger
Also known as Danny Buckets, a.k.a. Senor Buckets. This is a very recent mancrush, developed last season when I adopted the Pacers as my team just as Granger was moving from “good player” to “star.” Confession: In the “Who’s Better?” series, I’ll sometimes end up defending a player who I don’t really believe is better than the other guy. But when I argued for Granger over Kevin Durant last season, I fully believed myself. Senor would drop buckets against a team of Avatars.
PF — Zach Randolph
After making the case that Z-Bo should be an All-Star for years, finally some other national media are catching on. But guess what? He’s ALWAYS played like this.
C — Tim Duncan
I thought I had the Duncan Mancrush title on lock until Dick Vitale beasted me out of it earlier this week during the Spurs/Jazz game. I got you, Dickie V. Check the newsstands soon, buddy.
Bench — Anybody from Georgetown (Roy Hibbert, Jeff Green, Greg Monroe, DaJuan Summers, Allen Iverson, etc.); Anybody else from Seattle (Jamal Crawford, Marvin Williams, Spencer Hawes, Brockman, Martell Webster, etc.); Eric Gordon, Tyreke Evans, Tony Parker.
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January 22nd, 2010 at 4:01 pm
two times says:
surprised there weren’t any old-school sonics in there, esp the glove…
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:04 pm
AdvancedMind says:
Zach Randolph looks like Eddie Winslow from Family Matters…..
Nice to see control’s name in an artical right next to Rondo’s lmao
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:12 pm
quest??? says:
i feel you AB (Pause) i have an extremely big mancrush on allen iverson and a lot of people call me out on it so i know how u feel
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Austin Burton says:
@Two times — I went with current players. Had I gone old-school, there definitely would have been some Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, Hersey Hawkins, Sam Perkins involved.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Shakers says:
Control and Rondo, hahahahhahaa.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Joey Jihad says:
My Mancrush Squad:
PG – Derrick Rose (track star playing b-ball)
SG – Kobe Bryant (Simply the best)
SF – Andre Iguodala (Best dunker in the League)
PF – Kevin Garnett (Love his intensity)
C – Shaq (Funny and still a beast sometimes)
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:22 pm
BiG ShoT BoB says:
@two times: That would be my mancrush. Like AB I’m a homer when it comes to Bay Area products:
Gary Payton
Jason Kidd
Tom Brady
Leon Powe
Drew Gooden
Brian Shaw
Demarcus Nelson
Josh Childress
Bill Russell
Some of the local legends:
Demetrius ‘hook’ Mitchell
Chris Kelly
Maurice Brown
Cardell “Ballaholic” Butler
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Chicagorilla says:
lmao, at least you can man-up to it.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Peezy says:
PG: Tim Hardaway
SG: D-Wade
SF: Glen Rice
PF: Lamar Odom
C: Zo Mourning
(Obviously I’m a Heat fan)
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Kermit The Washington says:
Oh snap that IS Eddie Winslow hahahaha!
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Kermit The Washington says:
I’ve never seen someone so proud to have multiple simultaneous ManCrushes. This has crossed multiple simultaneous lines in my book; I’m done with Dime for the rest of the day GOODBYE! LOL
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
two times says:
@ AB
The Sam Perkins mancrush is real. I still got a mancrush despite him killing my blazers back in the day from so many different teams…
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:33 pm
ticktock6 says:
If you’re a girl, what do you have? Just a regular crush? LOL.
Chris Paul, Brandon Roy, Andre Iguodala, Josh Smith, Paul Pierce. We wouldn’t have a center, and my Paul Pierce crush really does border on inappropriate sometimes. It’s, um, clearly not because of looks.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:36 pm
LakeShow84 says:
Lol ur coo as fuck for this article AB.. Good Friday article..
Comedy.. shit with as much as i have to defend Kobes i guess i love the man lol.. so yes I guess i love Kochachi..
And Bynum too.. i like that kid too much for his inconsistency and not accomplishing shit so far lol
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:39 pm
control says:
Haha. Good read AB, takes a real man to man up like that. I share some of your man crushing (Tmac, Aaron Brooks, Tim Duncan). Steve Nash has to be my main one, guy is a fucking genius on the court (and he’s Canadian).
At least I can lay off you now for the Zach Randolph man-crush, if he was your first major interview than it’s like that chick you lost your virginity too. She may not be the hottest, but she’ll always have that place in your heart eh?
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:46 pm
dagwaller says:
Hahaha Advanced Mind, too true.
Sad that I’ve been reading Dime long enough to have called Austin’s mancrushes.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:46 pm
shiptar says:
about your list, i’m feelin you for t-mac and z-bo!
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:08 pm
LakeShow84 says:
Oh and i mancrush on Timmay too lol
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:23 pm
weezy f says:
haHAH THIS ARTICLE IS GAYYYYY
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:32 pm
dapro says:
^ from the man who kissed another man on the lips
the irony
mancrush
T-Mac, Ray Allen and Melo
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:47 pm
quest??? says:
my second mancrush is barea
January 22nd, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Sacto_J says:
Tyreke Evans, D-Wade, Chris Kaman,
Old Shool
Magic, Mullins, Spud, Kemp, and Webber
January 22nd, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Dagomar says:
Oh come on.
Vince and TP have to be front and centre on this list, not just reserves (in Parker’s case). Last season you argued for Parker as the best point in the game and insisted Vince Carter (whom you called misunderstood) should join the Magic. How’s that turning out?
January 22nd, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Ian says:
mancrush team
pg. b.barry
sg. manu (duh)
sf. paul oneill (my fav baseball player ever sorry i had to get him in there)
pf. kemp
c. the admiral
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Gerard says:
What do you mean you limited it to current players? You included T-Mac
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:32 am
Sole2Sole says:
@AB
Sam Perkins was a G! He use to chill at Northgate all the time buying video games at EB!! LOL! Gah, I miss the 90′s! It’s just so sad Sonic’s never got to take advantage of their deep squads in the 90′s…
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:45 am
ugly_fish says:
AB
I think you might have a bigger mancrush on VC than i do (which is saying a lot).
January 23rd, 2010 at 4:18 am
A.R. says:
yall niggaz is gay…smh
January 23rd, 2010 at 7:14 am
M Intellect says:
Austin does a Man-Crush team because he has been criticised of being biased towards people. Now people are coming out with their own Man-Crush starters for no fucking reason?! I’m sure dudes were arguing who was AI’s #1 fan. What’s next? A Bromance Basketball Reality Show.
It’s like when you’re 18-ish and your tryna find the girl in the group that gives head. They all deny it, but when you crack one to admit she does, they all suddenly do and then it turns into a competition between them for the Toes Curl title.
January 23rd, 2010 at 7:18 am
M Intellect says:
LMAO @ Shiptar! How can a dude say I’m feelin’ you for T-Mac and Z-Bo! You need to say Pause, No Homo and SHIT-I-didn’t-mean-it-how-it-sounded…
January 24th, 2010 at 1:01 am
Drewskeelove says:
Peyton Siva is not going to the league. Unless by ‘the league’ you are referring to the D League, but that still isn’t a guarantee.
January 24th, 2010 at 8:18 am
kevin says:
AMAZING!! HAHAHA
January 25th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
N says:
FINALLY, another that has a mancrush on Zbo. All my boys back @ home clown on me for liking him but I could care less. Zbo4Prez.
N