NBA / Jun 9, 2010 / 10:30 am

The Top 5 Must-Have Celtics Items Currently Selling on eBay

Last week I gave you the Top 5 must-have Lakers items currently selling on eBay. So it’s only naturally I’d have to find the equally ridiculous Top 5 must-have Celtics items that you may or may not have any use for. At all.

1. Antoine Walker Radical Rides Hot Wheels

If this isn’t a must-have product, I don’t know what is. I’m still trying to figure out what’s in the back of ‘Toine’s Radical Ride. And this is completely ironic, seeing as Walker is in $12.7 million worth of debt and recently filed for bankruptcy since he had only $4.3 million in assets. If we include the car, then I don’t know what the other $2 million is assets are. Over Walker’s illustrious 13-year career, he amassed over $108 million in salary. Give this car to your kid and tell him to pretend he’s driving around from arena to arena in the Puerto Rican league attempting to collect paychecks!

2. 1994-1995 Boston Celtics Custom Framed Season Tickets

For only $5,000 you can own custom-framed tickets from … wait … the ’94-95 Celtics season! Forget about the days of Russell, Havlicek, Bird and McHale and relive the glory days of Pervis Ellison, Eric Montross, Dino Radja and David Wesley. According to the seller: “If you look at each photo supplied, you can take notice to the fact that these tickets are completely original and un-torn ‘used.’ In addition to being completely priceless to the true Celtic fanatic out there, this booklet actually tells the real life story of The Boston Celtics franchise from the first game played in 1946 all the way to the final home game of the 1995 NBA season.” You mean to say that you didn’t attend one game during that truly memorable season just so you could preserve the history of the Celtics at The Boston Garden? Thank You cferrone3!

3. Boston Celtics 1984 Championship Mug

Remember that Seinfeld routine on air travel? “Do the people that work in these little shops in the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? What do they think, that they have their little country out there? Tuna sandwich, $13, that’s what we… tuna’s very rare, here.” Well, Seller jaguar1232009 bought this mug at Logan Airport after the ’84 Championship and is now selling it at the same price he bought it for: a cool $525. I know what you’re thinking, “pretty cheap,” but it’s only because the mug’s condition is used. If you’re considering purchasing this mug forget the completely awkward handle and remember that you’ll be able to commemorate each playoff victory of the ’83-84 season every morning.

4. Paul Pierce Auto Celtics Hat – Beckett COA 1 of 3!

For fans, players will sign anything from arms to business cards, but why would Beckett have Paul Pierce sign multiple Celtics construction hats? Probably because Pierce was the only member of the Celtics to start all 82 games of the ’00-01 season — the season that began only a couple months after he got stabbed 11 times. The Truth, like the hats he signed, is hard. I don’t know how you would explain this purchase to your friends, but make sure to wear the hat next season after telling your wife that there’s only five minutes left in the game and ‘Sheed hasn’t even picked up his first technical yet.

5. Brian Scalabrine Boston Celtics Signed Game Used Shoe

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Brian Scalabrine. I remember distinctly when Scal came to Sportstar Academy, the Jewish basketball camp I attended in my middle school/high school days. Fresh off a season with the Nets, Scal rolled into camp in an Escalade EXT. None of us knew who he was, but his fiery red hair was shocking to a bunch of teenage Jewish kids. “He’s just like us!” we thought. Anyways, Scal turned out to be a pretty good role player for the Celtics, and I still take his side today when we debate his relative worth to the Celtics and whether he belongs on an NBA roster. Although he is in plainclothes for the playoffs, he is seen providing support on the bench. Regardless, this eBay item is some of the most depressing memorabilia I have seen. First of all, when you buy game-used shoes, you usually buy shoes and not just shoe. Seller yoursportsmemorabiliastore is only selling one of Scal’s shoes. Also, couldn’t Scal select a more interesting/dynamic sneaker from the Nike line? And for $360 I cannot even pretend to justify this purchase.

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  • GM

    I believe that is The Boston Celtic hanging on the back of Walker’s whip.

  • Sweet English

    Funniest thing in this ENTIRE post…

    Click on the Brian Scalabrine Shoe entry and scroll to the bottom picture. That dude wearing the ‘Scalbrine’ printed T??!??!!

    Dude is one of three things…

    1. He is familia or his name is coincidentialy also Scalabrine and he was in the same shop as Brian on the same day…. coincidentially

    2. On Brians payroll

    3. The number 3 Jew in the entire world behind Jon Stewart and Jesus himself.

  • sh!tfaced

    There is no such thing as a Brian Scalabrine GAME-USED SHOE.

    And oh, how much can one get if a fan were to sell genuine “some things are better left to the imagination” 1980′s Celtics short shorts?

  • haslem

    lol! hilarious article

  • http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/703154723/the-soulchorea-project?pos=1 Kermit The Washington

    LOL @ #3….

    you right about that…you right….

  • e

    its the celtic logo man on back

  • e

    its a leprhacan

  • http://dimemag.com/author/adam/ Adam Flomenbaum

    @ e – that’s ironic.

  • snook

    broken link, here’s the real link to Scal’s game worn shoe

    http://swittersb.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/shoes_ia36659.jpg

  • realist

    #9 LOLOLOL. this whole post and the comments had me dyin

  • http://bt.davka.info/ Sparkyjay23

    @ snook

    That is pure comedy gold

    Now everyone is looking at me laughing