Smack / Aug 26, 2010 / 12:02 am

Derrick Rose leads Team USA past Greece; Meet the next Sprewell

Derrick Rose (photo. Chad Griffith)

Leave it to the WWE guy to bring the hyperbole. Immediately after Team USA beat Greece in its last exhibition game before the World Championship, WWE-turned-ESPN talking head Jonathan “The Coach” Coachman looked right into the camera and said, “Team USA looking very sharp!” So we’re guessing he wasn’t counting the 17 turnovers, the 7-for-28 shooting outside the arc, or that the U.S. made Greek big man Kostas Tsartsaris (24 pts, 9-12 FG) look like a lighter, hairy, slightly less sweaty Patrick Ewing … But that’s all nit-picking. At the end of the day, it was a dominating 28-point rout for the Americans, who were led by Derrick Rose (13 pts) and Eric Gordon (18 pts, 4 threes). Kevin Durant chipped in 15 points, but it was the backcourt and the rebounding that won this one … On the not-so-good side: Andre Iguodala air-balled multiple threes, Lamar Odom was nearly invisible as the starting center, and Tyson Chandler was worse than Odom. Chandler got scored on more than the casting couch at Brian Pumper‘s production company … Here’s a J.R. Smith story that doesn’t involve tattoos or bad shot selection: As reported by AOL Fanhouse and confirmed by Denver police, J.R. was involved in an “altercation” at the Nuggets practice facility earlier this month, although prosecutors decided not to file charges. A player not on the Nuggets (apparently a D-League guy) said J.R. went Latrell Sprewell on him after a workout drill where coaches had told him to get physical with J.R., but J.R. didn’t like it … One great thing (out of several) about having Ron Artest on the Lakers is that instead of trying to bait Kobe into delivering bulletin-board material, reporters know Ron is always good for a crazy quote with zero filter. With Doc Rivers spitting his new, “Our starting five has never lost a series” rhetoric, Artest of course had a comeback. In a series of Twitter posts, Ron-Ron wrote: “Doc got one million excuses. Just come back this season (and) take what you want.” And later: “Nobody made excuses when Boston came to (Sacramento) when I was there and they embarrassed us. Acting like they were hardcore.” … Did you see where the New England Patriots’ kicker got a 4-year, $14 million contract? The KICKER is making $3.5 million per year, or basically more than double what Tracy McGrady and Shaquille O’Neal are making this season … Straight from the owner’s mouth in D.C., Gilbert Arenas is raining buckets and dunking on NBA guys in pickup games at the Wizards’ gym. But from now until the trade deadline passes — or until we see that Gil really can play with John Wall — every praise of Arenas from Wizards staff will come off like they’re just trying to raise his trade value. Arenas is on the verge of being this season’s Kevin Martin, getting shipped off as soon as it becomes clear he’s not The Franchise anymore and the rookie PG has taken over like DJ Khaled … We’re out like J.R. Smith having to choke a …

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  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla

    LMAO@DRose making every Rondo fan that based him look like a complete a$$. He did everything that Rondo couldn’t do in that game.

  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla

    oh and a big “F^k you” goes out to Coach K. Why you may ask? well as i’m watching Team USA here is the major problem

    The 3pt line.

    why are we jacking up 3pt shots with guys who aren’t shooters. Even if they were good shooters would it make a little sense to have them DIVE TO THE BASKET when players are driving.

    I just watched Durant isolated on the wing vs a big. The rest of the Team just stood around the arc waiting for KD to drive and kick to them. While they did this, Greece loaded up the lane, allowing KD to kick to Iggy for an open 3 which he air balls. Great coaching by Greece. let them die by the 3.

    Someone slap Rat Face and tell him this ain’t Duke nor is it college ball. Have someone (preferably a finisher) dive down the lane while people are driving. A motion offense would be PERFECT for this team but I don’t know if Rat Face has ever used that.

  • IGP

    @ Chicagorilla

    I don’t get why you don’t just say “fuck” or “ass.” I mean people always try to cover up swears with characters and it doesn’t make any sense.

    Eric Gordon is looking good for team USA. The Clippers could surprise people this year.

  • http://deleted dagwaller

    One would imagine that New England’s kicker has made it past the first round of the playoffs, has scored more than 3 ppg in the last year, and can convert on more than %50 of the “free” parts of the game.

  • http://deleted dagwaller

    I hate the Patriots, but seriously, Tom Brady was one of the best quarterbacks of this decade. His reward?


    About half of what T-Mac has made in the same amount of time…for a few Super Bowls. I love you guys, but pleeeeeease don’t bring up T Mac or AI until one of them scores 15 points in a game this season. Just don’t.

  • hahns


    for the most part i do think gordon is a good addition to the team, but has anyone else noticed that the guy has no handle???

  • J

    EJ is not a good ball handler at all. He played some PG minutes at times and struggled.

  • FU

    Ahhh I love Ron artest with his crazy ass. ROSE is da man! Team USA look like crap but I’m sure they will turn it around maybe not win gold but at least top 3.
    LAKERS 3-peat bitches!!!!!

  • alf (from melmak)

    Off topic. I do not know if it is old news but can someone please explain to me how Sasha Vujacic became the boyfriend of Maria Sharapova? Aside from being both Europeans and athletes, what else is their common denominator? Do you have to be an NBA bench player to get super babes?

    And on the naughty side, if Sharapova grunts so loud on the tennis court, how would she sound in bed?

    Here is the link to the Yahoo story on the two I saw yesterday — http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Sasha-Vujacic-may-be-the-NBA-s-best-tennis-playe?urn=nba-264745

    Top 100 reasons why Dime should hire me as one of its regular writers.

    58. I will give Dime two snaps, a twist, and a….. (never mind the last part).

  • IGP

    Yeah he doesn’t have the best handle, but on the Clips you got Baron who does that. Plus Griffin and Kaman. I’m just sayin the Clips have a solid team I bet they will be at least 6th seed.


    If Sasha Vujacic was not a basketball player, he will be a virgin!

  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla

    @IGP, because it’s against my f^kin Religion to type curse words. Is the good enough for your a$$

    lol, nah man I’m just used to doing it on sites where they block you for those kinda words.

  • TBlack

    That Brian Pumper joke was hilarious lmao…

  • http://uoregon.edu sans

    yeah, I had to google Mr. Pumper….apparently he’s about to gape Morpheus’ daughter….sucks for Mr. Fishburne….and I’m sure if the Machine wasn’t a fringe NBA player, and still a millionaire, he WOULD (BRUCE there is a difference in this language of ours between past, present, and future) have been able to lose his virginity by now…one would hope…

  • http://uoregon.edu sans


    are you offering the DIME staff a bunch of handjobs in exchange for employment….? Can someone please explain what the man from Melmak was trying to say for me, cause it sounds like he’s goin pro with his hairy palms…

  • Young Gunner

    But unlike DJ Khalid, Arenas isnt a one hit wonder. Dime really needs to come better with the metaphors

  • Young Gunner

    At least Gostkowski last year was more of a consistent scorer than what T-Mac and Shaq was last year

  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla


    Alf was referencing the old skit tv show “In Living Color” with that quote.

    Also, I think Pumper already banged Fishburnes daughter. Which would pretty much make me put a hit on that cat if I was Morpheus. If that was me, Mr. Pumper would be stuck in the matrix like a mutha

  • ab_40

    coach k sucks at this. jerry sloan would be perfect for team usa. he’d finaly be able to win something

  • alf (from melmak)

    @ Chicagorilla

    You got it. :)

    @ ab_40

    Totally agree on the Jerry Sloan part.

  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla


    Man I would love to see Sloan coaching this team. But his over use of the pick-n-roll may hurt him against that zone.

  • alf (from melmak)

    @ Chicagorilla

    With the current Team USA lineup, I doubt if Sloan, if he was coaching it, will be relying heavily on the pick-and-roll.

    Remember the post Stockton-Malone Jazz when they went 41-41? The pick-and-roll was almost invisible in their system that season. Sloan can adjust to what the players can give.

  • tja

    what happens when footballplayers are bored on a basketball court?

  • http://www.cnnsi.com JAY

    Hey DIME,
    Where’s the mention of Pippen’s statue??? Don’t tell me even I out-scooped you. Hopefully the article is being written as we speak.

    I wonder what pose they will capture?? I’m hoping it’s the “nuts-to-face” slam on Ewing.


  • oscarisalakerfan

    Great suggestion on Jerry Sloan coaching USA.

  • http://www.cnnsi.com JAY

    Regarding Sloan… I gotta side with Chicagorilla. Sloan teams rarely sees a zone in the NBA.

    If Boeheim stays as Sloan’s assistant I would co-sign.

  • That’s What’s Up

    Is it “Post-A-Link” day in the comments section?

    Check this: http://www.nobodygivesafuckaboutyourlinks.com

  • http://www.espn.com Sho-Nuff

    Kahled is overrated.

  • common sense

    Dime musta heard about Pumpers much anticipated rap debut, yall need to check out his single Pumper, its an instant classic….

  • Jules

    chill, chicagorilla.

    they weren’t really running plays bc they don’t want to have all their plays able to be scouted right off the bat.

    they did just fine without any actual sets, too.

  • PJ

    I just can’t believe sasha vujacic is dating a girl. wow. Other than hoping someone would punch him in the face, I really thought he was gay. Learn new things everyday, I guess.

  • http://getyourishbusted.net Chicagorilla


    So you really believe that BS that Fran Franschilla was spitting? NEGRO PLEASE! Running plays or not, playing their full team or not, they don’t really stand a chance against Team USA.

    Or Maybe you were talking about Team USA not running plays? If so then you must have never watched a Duke game. That offense was very similar to Duke.
    I will say that TEam USA did not play Full Balls to the Wall defense like they can. Seems like they are holding back on that.

    Don’t listen to anything Franschilla says he’s a complete idiot (yes even when he’s giving Rose and Durant props). He seems to hate American basketball because he failed miserably as a coach here. So now he just scouts Euro Ball or whatever.

  • That’s What’s Up

    @ common sense.

    Instant classic, no doubt. But the track is called “Pumper Or Leave Her”

  • Mtx


    Utah rarely sees a zone because it would be suicidal to throw a zone against Utah. They were the prototypical zone buster team: Intelligent dribbling, outside shooting, good off ball movement, good passing

  • sh!tfaced
  • LakeShow84


  • LakeShow84

    @ Alf

    It did sound like u offered them a hand job man.. next time just finish the sentence lol

    And im still waiting for Durant to have a REAL dominant showing.. Its no secret Wade, James, Anthony or Bryant could light up any international competition if they really wanted to.. Since Durants been put in this upper tier so suddenly he should be bombing on these teams.. and he isnt..

    And i second Jerry Sloan being put on team USA.. be a good chance for him to win something significant as a coach.. i dont care about the style of coaching just get the dude an accolade lol

  • JAY

    Thanks for outlining that for me. *sarcasm*

    I’m pretty sure we all know why Sloan doesn’t see zones. It’s not just Utah…. most NBA teams don’t see zones. And if they do, it’s maybe once per game.
    I think collegiate coaches might be better for the International game since they are more familiar playing against zones. That’s why I mentioned Boeheim. He’s the king of the 2-3. If there’s anybody who knows how to beat the 2-3, i think it would be him.

  • JAY

    LMAO at the “http://www.LMAO@nobodygivesafuckaboutyourlinks.com”….

    My bad for posting one earlier. My excuse is that it was for a picture…. not another article. Can i get a pass? Lol.