The NBA and adidas may have an exclusive merchandising deal, but the $400 million-plus agreement is definitely not respected on eBay. Even if the Association expands into Europe, Stern won’t be able to stop the movement of Bill Laimbeer video games, old Jordans and bootleg laundry bags from one fan to another. Then again, why would he? eBay’s stockroom beats any store’s, and a fan wearing a jersey is still a fan wearing a jersey. Stay tuned for a look at cheaper, misspelled NBA-related gems, as well as the expensive, hurt-your-feelings stuff.

(Note: I do not own any of these particular items.)

Dead Auction: 1984 PURVIS SHORT Warriors Nike Game Used Worn Shoes PE

Purvis Short was selected ahead of Larry Bird in the 1978 NBA entry draft, averaged 17.3 points per game in a 12-year career, put up 59 against the Nets and was the greatest small forward in Ha’Poel Tel Aviv history, but his player exclusive languishes on eBay for less than the price of a discount Posite. The shoe is a size 15 from a schizophrenic era in sneaker history — pre-Jordan, post-Blazer not quite either — but something is slightly amiss here.

Prices might be low since Short was only a good NBA player. A capable scorer, he demanded a lot from his offence, and shot better than 50 percent from the field just once, in his sophomore season. He boasted a career usage percentage higher than, among others, Isiah Thomas and Kevin Garnett. To be fair, the man had a pretty jumper and filled the stat sheet like a guard, but so many subsequent players at his position have become Hall of Famers, and his memory’s been shunted aside.

Still, Short was a fine enough player at the pro-level and deserves better than the indignity of a misguided and never-ending live auction. It’s gotta be the shoes. Ugly and big, though authenticated, they’re a quintessential mid-80s, pre-Jordan sneaker, mostly white like a Blazer but fat like a Dunk or something — the worst of both worlds. Ironic since 1985 was one of Short’s better seasons: career-best 28 points per game, respectable PER and Win Share metrics, but not even an MVP trophy would justify the the $60 Buy It Now.

That said, I understand the listing. Any shoe from the ’80s is hard to find in good shape, and it’s not worth the time to list a player exclusive for anything under $50. Still, the shoe is lonely out there and like Short on Draft Day, there are better options available.

Dead Auction: vtg 80s LARRY BIRD caricature t-shirt BOSTON CELTICS

There is no article of clothing closer to the eBay-NBA nexus than the big head shirt. But while Starter jackets or Air Jordans have documented histories and prices, the caricature tee is shrouded in mystery. No one is sure what these sometimes unlicensed masterpieces are called or how they’re to be searched. The shirts themselves vary wildly. Some blot out franchise logos like so much Stalin-era photography, while others showcase whole rosters. Some are printed on the cheapest white cloth money can buy; others do better. A Salem Sportswear Jordan shirt, arguably the most official of the lot, will constitently hover around $50, but the intrepid may find it for $5. (Comparatively, A 1994 Sonics roster tee for Post-Intelligencer subscribers will never reach double digits.)

In drafts and on auctions, quality usually gets rewarded, but predicting results is a haphazard business. An eBay prospecter might have predicted that a prime Larry Bird caricature shirt would clear $40 based on past auctions. A Dominique Wilkins shirt neared $50. A Michael Jordan iteration went for double. Some terrible ones went for very cheap. Bird is quality if he’s anything, and his shirt was not slouch — heck, he’s got a mustache! Still, it fell below the premium, selling for less than it should have.

Of course, it happens. I’ll guess that both sellers spent a combined $10 on their inventory; only the Bird shirt has cleared. Sometimes it’s better to move for less. Someone might one day spend $60 on these ugly giant white shoes, but maybe not. Maybe the Warriors should have pounced on Bird. But maybe not. Still, overlooked quality is out there, and the rare Hall of Fame return should be enough to keep anyone minding the details.

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