The Spurs Suffer From The New England Patriots Theory

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Spurs.
Spurs who?
The San Antonio Spurs.
Wait who?
The San Antonio Spurs. We’re 36-6, we’re in first place in the West and have the best record in the NBA. Can we come in?
No, you’re boring.
(Slammmmmmmmmmmmmm.)

This, in my opinion, is the series of events that occur in peoples’ heads when deciding whether or not they want to watch the Spurs play. It’s the only logical explanation. The Spurs boast the best record in the League (36-6), the best home record in the league (23-2) and are on pace to finish with the second best regular season record in NBA history (70-12). They are one of the few franchises left who play “team” basketball and are coached by a man who believes in winning games the old-fashioned way, with defense and rebounding. They are led by the greatest power forward of all… but they’re boring. (Sorry, I keep forgetting.)

Oh, and remember that make-believe door you slammed in the Spurs face? Yeah, that was you changing the channel to watch “Jersey Shore” instead. And you call yourself a sports fan…

But the question remains: Why is no one talking about the Spurs? Is it possible for a teams’ lack of style and flair to outweigh everything else to the point where even SportsCenter refuses to acknowledge them?

I have a theory I’ve called The New England Patriots Theory.

Wait, I thought this was about basketball? The New England Patriots have been a football juggernaut this decade, winning three Super Bowls since 2002, more than any other franchise in the NFL. But sports fans are sick of the Pats. They’ve had enough of Bill Belichick, his media mind tricks and that damn sweatshirt. They understand Tom Brady is a Hall of Fame quarterback. Blah blah blah. They know… And that’s the problem. Because the Patriots have sustained such a high level of success for an extended period of time, they have become boring. But a different kind of boring. Not the type of boring where you’re sitting in class debating whether you would rather gouge your eyes out or pay attention. The type of boring in which fans have become so accustomed to the Pats success that it’s boring. Sports fans don’t want to see the same team win over and over. They enjoy seeing different teams and different players succeed. The new story lines developing right before their eyes. Watching live as the unknowns become known on the biggest stage. Who wants to see the same team win over and over?

I think this “Patriots” style of boring has been shackled onto the Spurs as well. Much like the Patriots, the Spurs have been dominate, winning four championships in the last 12 years.

Maybe this is why no one is talking about the Spurs. Maybe people are just sick of them? Have people seen this too many times before? Maybe it’s like a bad chick flick that your girlfriend drags you to and swears is “actually a really good movie.” Once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all right?

Or maybe this generation is different. With the viewers’ attention span being so short in today’s society, people only want to see the “wow” plays. The plays that make you stand up out of your seat. The plays that make you rewind and watch again. People don’t care about a perfectly executed up and under. People don’t care when a defender takes a charge to prevent an easy layup. Nobody cares about help defense. Nobody cares about post moves. Today’s generation wants dunks!

But as sports fans we’re better than that. We have responsibilities. We’re supposed to care about the little things. It’s our job to recognize potential greatness. It’s our job to appreciate what is being accomplished regardless of our rooting interests. So the Spurs don’t have a guy whose going to blow the roof off the building with a thunderous dunk. Big deal. The next time you catch the Spurs on ESPN, watch how Tony Parker uses the pick-and-roll to create space for his jumper. Pay attention to how Manu Ginobili uses the pump-fake to get to the rim. Admire Tim Duncan‘s footwork when he gets the ball in the post and goes to work. Maybe then will you realize why the Spurs are 36-6.