Smack / May 26, 2011 / 2:11 am

Dirk Is A Boss

Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk Nowitzki (photo. Monte Isom)

You heard it in the classroom. You heard it from your uncles. You heard it from your momma. We’re not sure who Dirk heard it from, but we know it was in German: “If at first you don’t succeed…” and yeah, you know the rest. After missing an open three with the clock winding down in the fourth quarter and his team down two, Dirk had another look from behind the arc. Maybe previous versions of Dirk (since he’s become a robot) would’ve shied away from that second shot. But not this Dirk Nowitzki. And this Dirk Nowitzki was buckets – hitting the three that would give his Mavericks a lead they wouldn’t give up, beating the Thunder, 100-96, and punching their tickets to the team’s second NBA Finals in five years. The Dallas Mavericks are your 2011 Western Conference champions. Get used to it. Dirk was the beast they needed, from start to finish. Early on, he put a spin and dunk on Serge Ibaka where he must’ve asked him “Big fella, can you understand this language?” Boom. On his head. Even someone like Iblocka couldn’t translate that. Then after driving in the dagger that killed the West, Dirk walked out on the celebration. Like a boss … As Rick Barry said, we’d be “remiss” if we didn’t mention the gutsy performance by the OKC boys. Kevin Durant (23 points) came out hot like that bowl of chili out the microwave. But unfortunately for Thunder fans (and like that chili), he quickly cooled off as the contest wore on. Durant’s off? The Thunder are totally screwed right? Wrong. Enter Russell Westbrook (31 points, eight rebounds, five assists). This story was nearly about shutting up those media folks (ahem, ahem) that didn’t think Westbrook could win you a playoff game. Now the Thunder may not have won, but we think Russ proved his point. Remember when you were in preschool and recess hit? You went flying out the door to the swing set. Forget order, forget anything the teachers say. You were the man and you were gonna be first. That was Westbrook in the first quarter. He went from his own baseline to inside the opposing team’s three-point line in two seconds. TWO SECONDS. Kurt Thomas hasn’t made it past midcourt in less than two seconds since ’03. Did anyone catch Mark Jackson singing “Wild thaaang, you make my heart sing…” to Westbrook? Jackson just won American Idol … We wonder what the requirements were for being the voice-over for the talking basketball commercials. Imagine what those auditions were like. They need to do a parody of these with Charlie Sheen and a glass of gin … Keep reading to hear about the Beard, the Matrix and the JET

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  • LakeShow84

    @ Ian

    Ill say by a HAIR nowadays lol Bynum showed up these playoffs and ANCHORED our defense..

    Gasol wilted these playoffs and couldnt have hit the ocean floor with an anchor lol

  • Ian

    hey comon dirk makes anyone look bad
    btw you said nowadays so i was super right when we had the argument??? hehehe

  • LakeShow84

    LOL i already said that dude

    But ill say it again..

    YES IAN YOU WERE RIGHT lol

    And he was shitty in the Hornets series too lol getting beasted by Landry..

  • control

    Chicagorilla

    You are mistaking SOFT with FINESSE, there ain’t nothing soft about Dirk, he gets banged, he just says a small prayer to David Hassel off and he’s coming back at ya. Guys who are soft, are guys like Wince Carter and Chris Bosh. You knock their asses to the ground, and THEY change their game.

    Being soft is about letting other people change you from doing what makes you effective. I personally like to bang the shit out of people on the basketball court, but that is because I am a fucktun stronger than most people. When I happen to run into someone stronger(which is rare), I then outquick them and don’t let their strength dictate what I do. I’m tough because there ain’t a motherfucker out there who can stop me from doing what I gotta do to score, regardless of if I’m dropping fades, 3pts shots or yakking on your head.

    Sportmaster-J

    Yeah, you still a front runner and poser. It’s been a year and one month and you still can’t write in fucking paragraphs. They got English where you are, so you can learn yourself some?

    Lakeshow

    Fuck Bynum.

  • LakeShow84

    @ Control

    Id smash ur shit

  • LakeShow84

    Lol

  • Ian

    “YES IAN YOU WERE RIGHT” jajaja (spanish for hahaha) thanks

  • LakeShow84

    Lol anytime bud

  • ash

    @ab,
    ofcourse its racial. its a stereotype becuz he is a tall white dude from europe. you dont judge him on his basketball skill. you judge him on his ability to back people down and dunk when that is the easiest part of bball. you dont need skill to do that, its about the body. shit oliver miller did that.

    if you think cats like chicagorilla calling dirk soft is not due to race, u need a wake up call. its racial because dirk dosent get into a fight and try to Prove his “toughness”

    all you need to look at his how many game he has missed in his career. he has played through high ankle sprains and other injuries like no other. dude has missed less than 20 games his whole 13 year career. if thats not TOUGH, i dont know what is.

    what is the definition of tough? cussin at dudes? throwin punches? what is it?

  • http://www.gofukurselves.idiots.org Chicagorilla

    @control, ian, lakeshow and others

    You guys do realize that there is another half of the court that you play ball on and its called defense.

    Dirk is 7ft yet he refuses to bang……ON DEFENSE!!!!!! Dude gets bodied on D, and if he were to face a front line like the Grizzlies, Magic, or Bucks who have multiple power bigs who attack the rim and rebound like crazy, Dirk would be exposed.

  • Stunnaboy2K11

    I am seeing Wade get outplayed by Bogans, what is the world coming to

  • Ian

    chicago
    funny thing is that dirk outplays his opponent every night doesnt matter how big and tuff and ugly they are. kevin garnett with his all world defense (according to you) gets outplayed everytime he faces dirk. why cant kg drop 30 on the german?? i dont understand that. why cant randolp body up dirk and avg 50 vs him?? he only gets dirk for 19ppg when they play. i dont understand that. why does dirk avg 28 ppg vs the bucks and bogut avgs 18 vs him?? since hes so big and tuff. i dont understand that.

    so please tell me who exposes dirk?? who abuses that soft german pussay??
    i went thru most match ups for dirk and he only gets outplayed by a small margin by duncan.

    please stop underrating his defense hes ok hes avg hes not worse than that. oh and kgs is overrated sure he can bark at pgs but they blow past him. sure he can stand behind a center but they can back him up like hes not even there (talking about when he played td and shaq all in their primes cuz i dont think the nba has a dominant big now).

    please explain to me who drops 30 or 40 on his soft ass??

  • Ian

    oh and i find it funny that those dudes that rebound like crazy only outrebound dirk by 1 or 2 boards a game standing all game long under the rim. while dirk spends half the time 15 feet out.

  • ash

    dirk will get exposed? dirk has been in the league 13 years and is considered one of the greatest players of all time.

    oh, lebron flopped three times in the game tonight. what a pussay. he is a soft punk, physically and mentally right?

    again, most bangers in the paint have no skill. dont get me wrong, there are exceptions like barkley, malone, timmy d, etc. but the vast majority cant shoot and thats why they need to shoot it from 5 feet. if they work on their jump shot instead of dunking, they might not need to retire at 33.

  • Ian

    ash
    yup

  • vintakular

    Tough is subjective, depends on what you think defines toughness. Bangin down low in the paint, playing defense and making your presence known or nearly never missing games and coming back from major injuries early. It can be pretty broad what people’s views on tough are.

  • http://deleted dagwaller

    I thought that the Lakers had multiple bigs that could bang in the post? Gasol, Odom, Artest…tough guys. I also thought that smaller, quick defenders like Barnes gave Dirk trouble.

    They exposed themselves out of the playoffs in 4.

    I figured that the Thunder could expose Dirk, with athletes like Sefolosha and Ibaka. Or big tough guys like Perkins and Collison. Or long athletes like Durant and Westbrook.

    Come on now, Chi, you’re looking a little desperate here…

  • Stunnaboy2K11

    shit I thought Portland and Aldridge would expose Dirk

  • http://deleted dagwaller

    @ Stunna – yea, more people than not felt the same way. I like Portland, but I didn’t think that Aldridge (at this point in his career) belongs in the “tough guy with good defense” conversation. I figured he might equal him on offense and play some quick D.

  • Stunnaboy2K11

    Dirk has just proved me wrong time and time again these playoffs from me thinking Portland might upset them to LA wrecking them to OKC out running him. He is the best player this post season and winning a ring puts him above KG to me in my all time rankings.

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