The New Memphis Beat; Rajon Rondo Might Be An Alien

Rajon Rondo (photo. Gary Land)
With one arm, Rajon Rondo beat LeBron and Wade! With one arm, Rondo can go deep-sea fishing! With one arm, Rondo wins Billiards titles, can eat a steak in three minutes, can stop terrorism! All exaggerations aside, the Celtic point guard was doing people like the one-armed man in The Fugitive during Boston’s huge 97-81 Game 3 win against the Heat. Early in the third quarter just as Boston was finishing up a run that had turned a close game into a double-digit Celtic lead, Rondo (six points, 11 assists) got tangled up with Dwyane Wade (23 points, seven assists) and reached to brace his fall, hyperextending his left elbow. It was nauseating. He was back in the game soon after, barely able to use his left arm, but still making plays, finishing inside and finding teammates. It’s a good thing he doesn’t shoot as it is. Rondo’s out there playing with one arm and Shaq‘s (played eight minutes, scored two points) out there playing with no legs … While Rondo was the story, the game of the night belonged to Kevin Garnett (28 points, 18 rebounds). He was spilling his swear words in the first quarter, and then was the difference during the defining third quarter, dropping 14 points to get the Celtics some breathing room. He has to dominate Chris Bosh, and has to do it at least three more times for Boston to have a shot … Bosh (six points, five rebounds) couldn’t hold Brittney Griner right now … The word we would use for Boston’s start was “sharp.” Paul Pierce (27 points) was an entirely different player, playing like the go-to guy we’ve seen for so long. The problem the Celtics have is that even at their best, their energy just can’t match what some of the Heat can bring. So if Boston isn’t making shots and it comes down to other things, Miami usually wins. The game’s first wave of energy put Boston up 11, but still just three minutes into the second quarter, Miami’s bench had tied it up. Then Mario Chalmers (15 points) hit a trey and Joel Anthony (12 points, 11 rebounds) scored in the lane to cap an 8-0 Miami run to put them up four in the middle of the second. Normally, these games come down to the stars. But Miami’s bench really showed up, and somehow the Heat actually led at the half. They needed that because LeBron James (15 points) played one of the worst games we’ve ever seen from him in the playoffs. He looked confused and off-balance all night, and was much worse than the last playoff game he played in Boston. Yes, he’s not used to playing off the ball, but there’s no way he should be using the same go-to moves as Jerome Bettis … We’re out like a Rondo push-up.
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May 8th, 2011 at 2:09 am
ice def says:
FIRST
Zbo is a beast!!! And shout out to pac man for destroying mosely
May 8th, 2011 at 2:13 am
Ian says:
rondo over westbrook
May 8th, 2011 at 2:13 am
Soopa says:
Rondo doesnt do push out with one arm. He pushes the world down with one arm.
I cant put word and what Rondo did…… You could see the freakin’ elbow bend the wrong way! No words…
You know what else cant be put into words? Russel Westbrook.
3 times in the last 5mins of the fourth he doesnt pass the ball an entire possesion and misses a shot. 3 times, atleast. 3 times your PG, playing next to the scoring champ who btw is shooting above 60%, doesnt make 1 pass. Not one. He even waved Durant off!
Until he proves me wrong im calling him Marbury.
May 8th, 2011 at 2:14 am
Soopa says:
*Rondo doesnt do push UPS with one arm.
Damn my english lol.
May 8th, 2011 at 2:27 am
Dano says:
First!
Z-Bo doin his thing, way to come back Grizz! Sam Young’s dunk was like Saigon’s track “Greatest Story Never Told’ = sick.
On ya Celtics for makin it a series now.
yew.
Cmon Mavs sweep the Lakers n do it for all us Laker haters.
May 8th, 2011 at 2:28 am
Dano says:
damn not first my bad haha, too slow typing
May 8th, 2011 at 2:57 am
Krazee Jay says:
westbrook is trying too hard, he needs to get back to reality that he is best playing second fiddle to KD..he’s the reason they are down in the series, KD has been doing his thing and the same cannot be said about westbrook..if they go down, sam presti needs to think how best they can compliment KD, even it will mean shipping westbrook out of OKC..
May 8th, 2011 at 3:10 am
pat says:
memphis has figured out that it will dare westbrook to take a tough shot every time down the court and brooks and westbrook are both to inexperienced (not enough bball IQ) to make changes.
May 8th, 2011 at 3:18 am
drew says:
lionel hollins is the real coach of the yr. he’s got an actual offense that has structure and works, not to mention being able to balance his starting unit with firepower, defense, and versatility off the bench. and, he’s doing it against top level competition which imo holds more weight than simply beating up on bad teams during the regular season.
May 8th, 2011 at 3:28 am
the cynic says:
Mayo and Allen locked up Durant and Westbrook in 4th/OT. I expect Allen to lock up Durant, but Mayo shutting Westbrook down was a total surprise
May 8th, 2011 at 4:06 am
p-dizzle says:
And they doin all this without Rudy Gay… And I don’t want to hear any bullshit about “they a better team without Gay”.. Thats just not a fact! Big up to my boy Haddadi… Give the dude a chance to dance and he’ll show you he’s a legit player…
May 8th, 2011 at 5:17 am
EN FUEGO says:
These damn Celtics and all their drama. The elbow, the wheelchair, the knee. HAHAHA
I’m beginning to think Wade is becoming a dirty player, he goes shoulder first going into screens and how he pulls other players when he falls down. Or maybe it’s just his hatred of the Celtics that’s bringing it out.
And for those who actually paid for pay-per-view Pacman-Sugar Shane, way to waste your money. HAHAHA
May 8th, 2011 at 5:21 am
sh!tfaced says:
Pacquiao should have done it one-armed like Rondo…
May 8th, 2011 at 7:08 am
common sense says:
@drew, totally agree, watching memphis and the west side of the bracket is a different world than watching the east, from execution to intensity, the west is like gladiator type intensity and the east is like dodgeball. ‘westburys’ actions are deplorable but brooks cant seem to control him.. oj mayo had some next swagger goin on, PEDs? either way, he was the differ yesterday IMO..
Miamis starting unit is so bad.. they literally have 4.5 contributors in wade, james, chalmers and anthony with jones being the .5.. CHRIS BOSH, seriously WTF are you doing, mike bibby needs to retire along with ziggy..
no haslem or an effective miller is gonna hurt them sooner rather than later, miller doesn’t even shoot the ball and hes the shooter???
May 8th, 2011 at 7:27 am
!!! says:
lame fight sugar shane
May 8th, 2011 at 7:42 am
steve nasty says:
bosh was pathetic
May 8th, 2011 at 8:34 am
Skeeter McGee says:
Is it just me or do the OKC Thunder play more efficient with either Maynor out there running point and Harden at the 2 or Maynor at point and Westbrook at the 2? I guess what I’m trying to say is OKC should put Maynor in more…
May 8th, 2011 at 8:36 am
control says:
Chris Bosh…not much to say about him. Can a guy start to have a successful career then suddenly turn into a bust? How is JOEL ANTHONY out playing him? He was even having problems holding on to uncontested defensive rebounds. When Dime had that “who better, amare vs bosh” I was alllll about Bosh being better, but that fucker done made me eat my words, Miami would be 10x better with Stat right now.
I really can’t stand watching boston play, those guys are the biggest sacks of douche ever in history. PP is particularly agonizing to watch, check out how he does his Hulk Hogan flex combined with whiney face on nearly every play, even plays he had nothing to do with. When Rondo got injured, check out him doing the triple spaz flex outside the huddle, he was having a flexiseizure or something.
Speaking of Rondo’s injury, the guy was being dirty trying to pull Wade on top of him, and he got injured. Douchebaggary was rewarded. Even Ray Allen jumped on the douchebag train by getting pissed at Wade when he’s trying to run around, barely getting bumped and trying to pull Wade down on him.
Miami completely fucked up, if a guy on the other team is injured so that he can’t even use his left arm, fucking ATTACK HIM! Pressure him while he’s slowing hobbling the ball up the court, play him hard and make him a liability…I’m not even saying try to reinjure the guy or play dirty, but you can’t let someone fucking punk ya like that and let them dictate their own pace.
A great example of why Rondo isn’t an elite point guard came at the end of the second quarter. Miami didn’t even cover him, and he stood there confused and completely unwilling to put up a shot from the free throw line with no one closer than 10ft to him. He was open there for over 10 seconds, and maybe even peed himself a little bit, before throwing the ball into the crowd. The only other guy in the nba who that would go down like that for is Joakim Noah (who should NEVER be passed the ball on offense outside of 3ft from the rim).
May 8th, 2011 at 8:39 am
black swamba says:
rumor going around that Battier likes to party. Judge for yourselves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJXUnabwwOY
May 8th, 2011 at 9:13 am
Eduardo says:
Man, Haddadi doesn’t suck, at all! I’ve seen him playing overseas…I know that’s not NBA relevant, but fundamentals and IQ are international. Not saying he is an All-Star or whatsoever, but he can provide Memphis some good minutes, believe me…
May 8th, 2011 at 9:24 am
darkdefender says:
Cheap fucking play by Wade to pull Rondo to the ground after Rondo knocked the ball lose.
I’m not a Celtics fan, but I’ll admit, they’re a quality side and they play the right way – Rondo in particular. I’m praying they can find a way to finish the Heat’s season. I can’t stand those goddamn posers any more.
May 8th, 2011 at 9:27 am
darkdefender says:
@ control, ur way off pal. Wade was the dirty motherfucker in that play. Look at him pull down Rondo by the right arm, after the ball got knocked loose.
May 8th, 2011 at 10:10 am
Skeeter McGee says:
I think people the word ‘dirty’ is used too often in the playoffs because we are used to soft, un-inspired play during the long and often tedious regular season.
These guys are not trying to hurt one another; that classifies as dirty play. They understand each possession’s value and how hard they have to fight since nothing is guaranteed at this stage.
To say someone is a dirty motherfucker is to say Wade went in with the intention of severely injuring Rondo, which I don’t believe was the case.
Two teams can hate each other, hate other players/coaches on the opposing team, but to say that players are dirty when they are only out there busting their ass is a little ridiculous…
May 8th, 2011 at 10:37 am
control says:
darkdefender
The whole thing was initiated by Rondo. Then he lost his balance and tangled himself up in Wade, who then pulled Rondo around. Rondo did that so Wade wouldn’t blow by him, cause he missed the steal. Rondo has a rep for doing this shit, like Hindrich in scorers table, etc. I’m glad this time he paid for it.
Almost all the celts do that shit, how many times they get caught up bear huggin Wade or James, or pulling on Jerseys?
May 8th, 2011 at 11:11 am
the truth says:
@darkdefender, rondo pulled wade by the waist first actually, wade lost his footing (because of rondo) and he tried to brace his fall by grabbing rondo. Dirty? I think not. Sucks to see an injury like that, but nothing dirty about the play and i’m sure he didn’t intentionally dislocate rondo’s elbow. Minus the injury, this is absolutely a non-issue
May 8th, 2011 at 11:23 am
ManilaFTW says:
pacmannnnnnnnnnnn
May 8th, 2011 at 11:26 am
ManilaFTW says:
pacmannnnnnnnnnnn!!!
that rondo kid has some cajones to play through an injury like that. im just not sure if it was smart though. that should swell up and disable him for game 4 right?
or since these are multimillion dollar pro athletes, some sort of ‘technique’ that involves a syringe should take care of it and let him play for the rest of the playoffs
May 8th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
QQ says:
First of all, gotta holler at Pacman.
Ain’t nobody gotta talk shit bout that guy. Even you Floyd apologists. Pacman reduced Sugar Shane to a defensive stiff waiting for his 6 million dollar check.
The last fight versus Mayweather, Mosley didn’t look that scared.
So pleade Floyd fans, stop the bullshit. Yall know Manny’s gonna destroy Floyd.
Now bout basketball stuff:
1. I don’t care how many points, crossovers, dunks, etc Westbrook does, but I ain’t choosing any other point guard (except Derrick Rose, of course) other than Rajon Rondo to run my squad.
2. Best playoffs in years? Z-Bo being the most dangerous man in the NBA right now. Tell that to me before the season starts, and I’ll be laughing at your face. But now, it’s true. The Griz are for real. HOLLA.
May 8th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
ed says:
when wade’s going down he likes to pull other guys down with him. in the first half he fell going to the basket and almost pulled paul pierce down by his jersey. hes not dirty hes just a bitch. its like how rip hamilton grows his finger nails long so he scratch people. just a bitch move.
May 8th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Big Island says:
Yeah, so about that whole Westbrook/Rondo article the other day, I am changing my mind. Westbrook over Rondo? What was I thinking?!! Rondo gets my nod now simply because he snapped his arm, played well, and then said “I can still play D with one arm”. Paul Pierce should be ashamed of himself for the wheelchair crap he pulled after seeing that.
Seriously OKC, you have a guy who just gets buckets, rather easily, on ANYONE in the world, from ANYWHERE on the court, and he doesn’t even sniff the ball…
May 8th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
QQ says:
@30:
‘Seriously OKC, you have a guy who just gets buckets, rather easily, on ANYONE in the world, from ANYWHERE on the court, and he doesn’t even sniff the ball…’
And that’s largely due to Westbrook’s doing.
Smack stated it perfectly: Hero ball.
Why the fuck would you play ‘hero ball’ when you have Kevin fucking Durant on your team?
As I said in the Rondo vs Westbrrok article, know your fucking role.
May 8th, 2011 at 2:31 pm
sh!tfaced says:
If Hadaddi played for the Heat, he’d be getting big time tick…
May 8th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
First & Foremost says:
The Heat found out what to do with Rondo after he came back, too late in the game. Watch the last 3-4 minutes and the Heat started running every pick n roll on Rondo’s left arm. He flat out sucked getting around those screens. He showed heart, grit, determination, or whatever else you want to call it, but if he isn’t healthy he will be more of a liability than asset.
May 8th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Phileus says:
“He wrapped his entire basketball career up in one 53-minute autobiography, being selfish and disruptive early before redeeming himself late in ways no one thought possible.”
Haha, brilliant line. I only caught the highlights but want to see the whole game now. I remember how excited I was when Z-Bo came to NYC. A few years too late, he’s become the player we were all hoping for.
May 8th, 2011 at 4:34 pm
the cynic says:
down 20+ at the half. Lakers have the Mavs right where they want them
May 8th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
LeRoy Green says:
AYE FUCK THESE N*GGAS MAN!!!!!
We got the boot on the Fakers THROAT but it aint over yet…
11 threes in the first half is a good start tho!
MAVS BITCH.
L.A. how yall feel right now??
Speak up!!!
Phil Jackson callin timeout after timeout…LETS GO!!!!!
#DALLAS
May 8th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
sh!tfaced says:
Lakers putting in a fight just like Sugar Shane… lol
May 8th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
sh!tfaced says:
motherfucking lakers are going out like punks. odom n bynum got no class
May 8th, 2011 at 5:54 pm
The Judge says:
Lots of bitch-ass-ness from the Lakers today. What happened to Kobe’s will to win? I thought he could will his team to a win because he’s a WINNER?
May 8th, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Austin Burton says:
@QQ — I don’t think we can make a Manny/Floyd judgment based on their Mosley fights. Floyd had Mosley looking like a crack addict in withdrawal.
May 8th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
control says:
Tomorrow’s smack is going to be the sweetest smack all season. Laker nuthuggers will either disappear, or be going through some crazy ass denial or wanting to blow the team up, or committing suicide, haha.
May 8th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
barons_beard says:
Peja ballin’ like its 1999
See ya Fakers!!
May 8th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Austin Burton says:
@control — But we shouldn’t hear any talk of Dwight Howard or Chris Paul going to LA, because Kobe won’t “take the easy way out” and agree to play with other superstars, right? Kobe will go to LA’s management and tell them NOT to trade for another superstar, because he wants to win “on his own” and not “ruin his legacy.”
May 8th, 2011 at 6:39 pm
K Dizzle says:
@ Leroy Green
Still feel good. Why dudes post like life ends cuz my team lost in a series? We been blessed with 3 finals in 4 years. Every ride has its end. Can’t win every year.
I got no problem congratulatin the Mavs and their real fans……of course, that don’t extend to your no-class ass. It takes a clown to talk much smack during this Mavs dominated series.
Gonna be interestin goin forward to see who the haters gonna hate on now cuz we on vacation now. Watch the ratings now, kids.
Anyways, I hope the Mavs keep up the insane shooting right to the chip. I’d like to see Dirk and JKidd get their bling. I don’t know what Lamar and Bynum thinkin. U can’t let frustration take over like that. Go out classy n bring it next season.
Lakers, baby. See you next season!!!
May 8th, 2011 at 6:41 pm
control says:
AB
You are absolutely right. Laker fans are worse than knick fans, but they’ll justify it for Kobe…LeBorn did it first, Kobe is just playing the by other’s rules. They’ll actually say that its Kobes “killer instict” that lets him adapt to the new age of “big 3s”…
May 8th, 2011 at 6:54 pm
K Dizzle says:
@ control and burton – what the fuck r u 2 haters still blabbin about?
You clowns actually think Kobe’s the only one who asked his management to bring in help? You guys ever peep the roster before Pau got there? At least, thru the bullshit and whinin, he stayed. Stop bein played by the media. You think there aren’t 20 dudes on 20 teams with ZERO chance to win a chip goin to management right now, tryin to improve their chances. Ask yourself why Shaq bounces around from team to team, desperately chasin that chip, but you wanna shit on Kobe cuz he got Pau?
Take a day off, haters.
Kobe’s “LEGACY” is set in stone. He could retire today and shit wouldn’t change.
#2 ALL TIME behind only Mike. Hate all you want after the Mavs series like you hated after the finals loss blowout to Boston. Real Laker fans know where we are as a franchise, but good luck to your Raptors and Pacers in the future.
Weak posts, weak opinions, weak haterism.
Lakers lose cuz the Mavs shot the lights out and Pau never showed up and y’all shittin on Kobes legacy instead of proppin Dirk for bringin up his legscy?
That’s the true defintion of hate.
Weak all day…
May 8th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
oobhz says:
I bet K Dizzle needs a new keyboard after that post.. LMFAO..
dude, chill. your bus is leaving.. you’ll be left for fishing… hahaha
May 8th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
control says:
Woah, I’m just playin, I think I should start giving out hugs or something
May 8th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Austin Burton says:
@KDizzle — I think you misread me. I’m not saying anything bad about Kobe, I’m talking about the comical idea created by media/fans that superstars like Kobe and Jordan win titles “on their own” and are supposedly too competitive to “pull a LeBron” and play with other superstars.
May 9th, 2011 at 12:22 am
LeRoy Green says:
I got no problem congratulatin the Mavs and their real fans……of course, that don’t extend to your no-class ass. It takes a clown to talk much smack during this Mavs dominated series.
^^^^^6
LOL why u mad tho??
who got no clas?? me? Or odom and bynum?? lol
i’m the DEFINITION of a real fan homie. I been watchin this team since Sam Perkins was our best player. I been watchin since we had Kidd, Jim Jackson and Monsta Mashburn so STOP wit that fake shit. You dam right i’m rubbin it in cuz Lakers fans have talked shit NON STOP year after year after year! But its cool, go head and jump on that Bulls or Heat bandwagon wit the rest of the Flaker fans lol Its goin down in Dallas 2nite, thats all i know.
We didn’t just beat yall, we put yall boys to SHAME. Yall went out like some straight up HOE’S 2nite
i55.tinypic.com/2jdmg7c.jpg
i53.tinypic.com/11sin8y.jpg
now go sip on that wit ya hatin ass, i’m too busy celebratin lol
MAVS BITCH.
*takes double shot of Redberry Ciroc*
*lights up paper plane of Blue Dream*
*dougies with joint hangin from lip*
*brushes shouldaz off*
May 9th, 2011 at 12:23 am
LeRoy Green says:
http://i55.tinypic.com/2jdmg7c.jpg
http://i53.tinypic.com/11sin8y.jpg
May 9th, 2011 at 12:35 am
K Dizzle says:
@ “Mavs fan since 88, but hadn’t said shit til a week ago”, Leroy.
LOL I ain’t even gonna touch that. U tryin too hard, kid. You celebratin this hard after a 2nd round victory? Lol
I forgot how bad the mavs been in their history. Thanks for the recap. I can promise you there will be no bandwagon jumpin. If you actually read my post, you woulda seen
“Anyways, I hope the Mavs keep up the insane shooting right to the chip. I’d like to see Dirk and JKidd get their bling. I don’t know what Lamar and Bynum thinkin. U can’t let frustration take over like that. Go out classy n bring it next season.”
Obviously, ur adhd didn’t let you get that far.
Next time, try to finish readin then you won’t post a redundant note makin yourself look like a virgin thinkin he bout to pop cherry for the first time.
Enjoy your “championship celebration”
LMAO!!!
May 9th, 2011 at 12:35 am
K Dizzle says:
@ control and Austin
apologies. The venting had to happen lol
May 9th, 2011 at 1:08 am
This_Will_Hurt says:
Beautiful time in history to hate the Lakers and their fake ass no heart fans.
May 9th, 2011 at 1:32 am
GMC says:
Rondo is the best one armed player ever, and nash is the best one eyed player ever
May 9th, 2011 at 2:53 am
QQ says:
@ AB:
Wow, utterly forgetting the fact that Mosley staggered Floyd in the 2nd round of their fight?
All Floyd could do to Manny was a fake ass knockdown where no punches were even given. How’s that for entertainment.
The difference is Mosley was there fighting Floyd.
The Pacman bout was a NO-FIGHT. Mosley was so scared to open up that he basically just waited for the final bell to sound.
Of course yall keep yapping like Floyd. You’re a fan. Yap, then duck. Keep it up, Floyd fans.
May 9th, 2011 at 6:38 am
QQ says:
‘All Floyd could do to Manny was a fake ass knockdown where no punches were even given. How’s that for entertainment.’
I meant Sugar Shane, not Floyd.