10 NBA Players I Wish Were Traded

Sometimes we lose sight that basketball players really are actual people. We scream and angle for trades, digest rumors like a plate of spaghetti and constantly run scenarios through our heads like we’re trading sports cards. It’s all a big fantasy world. But being traded isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Believe me. I see friends of mine whine when they have to move 200 miles away for a job (side note: amazing how attached some folks get to a hometown. Depressing. If you live in the same place your whole life, you are missing out. Big time.).

Athletes are humans too. Basketball players make iffy decisions just like we do. They snatch that last piece of cake. They check out Green Lantern. And they cry, especially if they’re Chris Bosh.

But I’m allowed to be selfish sometimes. If there’s 10 guys who I would love to see somewhere else by the time basketball finally resumes, these are them:

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Goran Dragic – For some reason, I always liked his game, and he gained serious street cred (at least back in the homeland) for going at Sasha Vujacic. But ever since then, he’s struggled, and his stock – at least in my mind – has really plummeted in Houston (who actually just picked up his option for $2.1 million), despite oddly similar stats. That’s what happens when you fall out of the playoffs. Let’s get him back in.

Ben Gordon – One of the NBA’s greatest unsolved mysteries right now is what happened to Ben Gordon? Where is the real BG hiding?

Take it back to May of 2009. The love train with Gordon was more packed than a NYC subway at five on a weekday. So what if he didn’t really defend. So what if you considered yourself lucky to get five combined rebounds and assists from him. In that classic first round Boston/Chicago series, Gordon dropped over 24 a game. In case we all forgot these past two years while the Pistons coaching staff was busy yanking around all their veteran guards, Gordon has a complete offensive game…he could be the PERFECT sixth man on a title team.

Swap him for Hedo Turkoglu and we can all go home happy. Gordon is the shot-creator Orlando always needs. Hedo is the man to replace Tayshaun Prince and open up more room in the backcourt. Both teams get the same s#$%%^ contracts.

Tyler Hansbrough – For some odd reason, I’ve grown to like this dude’s game. Really have no clue how it happened. He went from being the annoying savior of the American public to a nobody in Indiana to a somebody in NBA circles. No one follows the Pacers outside of Indiana.

Now? I actually enjoy watching him play his butt off. It’s not always pretty, but it’s a change of pace. He fits that Pacer team pretty well. The only problem is that I’m not really trying to watch the Pacers.

Andre Iguodala – *See Hansbrough* Am I missing something with the 76ers? I really think they might be the most boring team in the league and I can’t figure out why. They have some talent. They made the playoffs. Iguodala is one of the most exciting players in the league (outside of Dwight, the entire Thunder team & Hamed Haddadi).

His agent is trying to force him to California. Make it happen. Send him anywhere.

Stephen Jackson – Ignore that he actually did just get traded. Every time one of Jack’s teams makes the playoffs, good things happen. In 2003, he had some of the biggest juice in San Antonio, and made countless big daggers as they went all the way to a chip back when Manu was Emanuel. Then, in 2007, he was the crazy guy Golden State needed to run through the Mavs in the opening round (that team actually had about 4.2 crazy guys) and treat us to some of the greatest fan-player excitement the league has seen in a while.

The one good thing I will say about sending Jack to Milwaukee is that pairing him with Scott Skiles should be a whole lotta fun.

Antawn Jamison – Does anyone in the entire NBA have worse luck? He toils in Golden State for five years…then ends up in Dallas for a year where he’s forced to give up shots and playing time (he came off the bench) while the Mavs immediately get worse and have one of their worst seasons of the Dirk/Cuban reign…then he ends up in the nation’s capital, enjoys the best individual years of his career, only to fall victim to guns and Gilbert…then he gets salvation in a trade to the hated Cavs, where they fall apart in the second round and LeBron packs his bags for the beach.

By this point, he’s like Pacino in Any Given Sunday, dreary-eyed and sleepy: what the #$%%^^&&^#%#$%@% did I do to deserve all of this?

Joe Johnson – I hate seeing obvious No. 2 (or No. 3) guys stuck in situations (whether it’s by their doing or not…and in this case, JJ came here, and he signed that insane deal so we can’t really feel bad for him) where they’re forced to play the role of the alpha dog. It does a disservice to everyone: the player gets unfair hate, the team never reaches expectations, and the fans all get pissed off and frustrated.

Can we have some type of mulligan with J.J.’s $124-million deal? I want to send him somewhere where he isn’t the top guy and can do the things he does best: shoot open threes, initiate offense as as big guard, give you around 18-5-5 and remain emotionless without all the “extra” stuff.

Kevin Love – Love is destined for something. I dunno what it is, but it definitely doesn’t involve Minnesota. They have a nice lil’ squad. But something’s missing. 30/30s in Minnesota? I can’t pinpoint one Love outlet pass since he made the NBA. As Seth would say: That’s like slapping God in the face for giving you a gorgeous gift.

At the same time, who knows? Maybe Minnesota will turn it around in the next three years, Michael Beasley will sort his issues out and start acting like the basketball Larry Johnson instead of the football one, Derrick Williams will turn into a monster, Anthony Randolph won’t break in half and will average five or six 5/5 steal/block games a year, Ricky Rubio will challenge Steve Nash for the best passing guard in the game and Gordon Hayward for “most popular baby face” and David Kahn won’t screw it all up.

JaVale McGee – I want him in New Orleans just so I can get CP-to-McGee lobs three or four times a quarter.

Steve Nash – BY FAR the easiest pick on this list. I might as well name this the Nash List. He needs to bite into the same pills KG took in the summer of 2007 and lose his loyalty. Time is running out. Someone come save him (and no, I’m not talking about the Knicks…or Minnesota either). Ever since the Suns decided they were going to win a title, but were going to do it without spending big money and without drafting any players at all (Rudy Fernandez, Rajon Rondo, Nate Robinson, Luol Deng, etc. etc.), it’s been downhill.

If Nash ever went to the Spurs, would they be better?

What do you think? Who’s a player you want to see traded?

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