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NBA / Jun 6, 2011 / 11:30 am

Charlie Sheen’s Winners & Losers From Game 3

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen

Before I unveil Game 3’s winners and losers, let’s get one thing straight: the Miami defense, and not Dwyane Wade, closed out that game. Sure, D-Wade knocked down some jump shots, but that’s exactly the point. He took jumpers. For those of you keeping score at home, LeBron went the same route in Game 2, except he missed. So Erik Spoelstra and Dwyane Wade, you are this week’s first official losers. You got lucky this time, but history has proven that end-of-the-shot-clock heaves are not the answer.

Winners

Dwyane Wade: Just in case everyone forgot that D-Wade’s got handles and ups, he reminded Dirk and Tyson Chandler at the same time.

Joel Anthony: For taking a shot at with 5:57 left in the first! And it was his second shot. Of the series. Alright so he missed, but give the guy a break. Baby steps.

Peja Stojakovic: For scoring his first points of the series at the 5:11 mark of the first quarter. Normally I’d be excited, but he took the worst shot in basketball – a three pointer with his foot on the line. I knew it had to be too good to be true.

Ian Mahinmi: For getting in the game. Although we knew this would happen due to the Brendan Haywood injury. And because LeBron is such a nice young fellow, he christened him with a ferocious posertization.

Brian Cardinal: Also for getting in the game. The fact that the Mavs are in the finals with Cardinal and Mahinmi getting minutes is some awkward combination of impressive and disturbing.

The Juwan Howard vs. Ian Mahinmi matchup: Clash of the titans.

Joel Anthony, again: Wait for it…HE SCORED! First points of the series on his third shot attempt. He ended up with four attempts and only two points, but it’s a win nonetheless.

Dwyane Wade’s Rebounding: He had 11. You’d think that his being 6-4 would make a difference, but no.

Mike Miller: For managing to make it to the third row on a “I’m going to dive for the ball out-of-bounds even though I have no chance of saving it.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone go that far into the stands. That’s cool, I think…

Miami Heat: Because ABC aired the story on Mike Miller’s daughter. Clearly it was a ploy to even out the rooting interest of the series. Thanks to the halftime piece, now it’s only 95/5 in favor of Dallas.

Jeff Van Gundy’s Drink Spill Analysis: For the record, I completely agree that fans in the front row shouldn’t have drinks. At the least, make them have bottled drinks. But it probably doesn’t help that arenas take the caps off of everything.

Scottie Pippen’s Hat: Alright, so this one might be a loser. But he gets the win for audacity. Although after wearing that hat, he officially lost any support he had for the comments he made about LeBron.

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  • http://www.dimemag.com Aron Phillips

    “Jeff Van Gundy’s Drink Spill Analysis.”

    That should be its own post right there.