5. “Full Metal Shaqet”
Creator: Rapsody (Jamla/IWWMG recording artist)
Dime Says: Shaq already has the Superman logo tattooed on his arm, so why not take the “Man of Steel” theme further. O’Neal was untouchable during his career, though injuries in his final couple of seasons proved that he isn’t indestructible. I think he bowed out at the right time, though.

4. “The Landlord”
Creator: Kane French (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: When Shaq was in the paint there was no question it was his house. If not for the fact that there was physically little room for anyone else, it was his house because of the dominant performances he delivered. And now that’s he’s retired, he has time to be the man of his actual home. A place that could probably be classified as more of a small village, Shaq’s house is big enough that he held his retirement press conference there in a room so large that there was an echo during reporters’ questions.

3. “The Big Sunset”
Creator: Chuck D (legendary rapper from Public Enemy)
Dime Says: Shaq’s retirement marks the end of one of the most colorful careers in NBA, maybe sports history. As the sun sets on his career so to speak, he went out in the most beautiful way possible; cracking jokes with the press, even taking personal shots at his own free-throw shooting and acting career.

2. “Shaqoustic Guitar”
Creator: Victor Perry (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: Can’t you see this conversation happening at a press conference after a game:

Reporter: “Shaq talk about the play when you dribbled full court and then snuck that shovel pass to Paul Pierce for the lay-in.”

Shaq: “Well you know, I like to think of myself as a guard in an oversized body.”

Reporter: “Yeah, the delivery was very smooth for a big man.”

Shaq: “I have very soft hands and fingers. I make beautiful music with these hands. I’m the Shaqoustic Guitar.”

1. “Caddy Shaq”
Creator: Carson Koenig (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: Shaq is a renaissance man. Shaq has rapped, Shaq has acted, Shaq has played basketball, Shaq has been a sheriff, and as Shaq finishes getting his PhD (which he plans to receive in December or January), Shaq spends time on the golf course becoming the next Tiger Woods. It’s only right for a retired man with millions of dollars to hit the green. Once the monstrous Shaq gets a hang of his swing, his biggest problem will probably be overshooting the hole by a good 5-360 yards. Otherwise, it will be as easy as a free throw. Oh wait…

What’s your favorite new Shaq nickname?

Follow Julian on Twitter at @JulianCaldwell.

Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.

Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.