Justin Bieber’s got some flow. Check it out. Shocking, right? You probably expected a consolidated Vanilla Ice/Rebecca Black combo. So did I. Never judge a book by its cover, I guess.

The Dime pickup crew fell into that trap during our last hoop session. Maybe it was karma. We did bounce early from work to get in an extra hour or two on the court. But before our frustrating journey began, we ran into some mild interference. On one end of the NYU gym floor was a mind-numbingly inept game of three-on-three – but since we needed numbers, I had to ask if they wanted to join us. They promptly hurled a unanimous “no” in my face, followed by a refusal to move to a side court. They were there first. Who knew that the five-year-old rules of engagement trumped common courtesy.

Let me paint you a picture for a moment. At the gym we play at, there are six hoops and three full-length courts. Only the middle court is regulation width, so the warming up, games of H-O-R-S-E and three-on-three are relegated to the side courts. It was apparent that these guys were aware of the unwritten rules of the gym – they were all wearing NYU gear and clearly went to school there – they just chose to ignore them.

After a few minutes of transparent intimidation attempts on our hoop as a couple guys put up some humorously absurd shots, one brave soul decided it was time to put his foot down. I’m not one for confrontation. (What usually starts as an attempt at assertive authority somehow ends with me apologizing.) So this guy calmly strode over to their half and demanded that they move. After some mumbling, grumbling and squabbling, dude got his way, and therefore ours as well.

And off we went. Despite jumping out to an early lead with our usual up-tempo play and lights out shooting, we knew our opponent had a beast waiting to erupt: a 6-5, freakishly lanky guard who could handle the rock and knock down shots from range. It’s only because he came out conservative and deferential that we managed to grab the lead; had he decided to unleash his full offensive might, we would not have stood a chance. Luckily he continually passed to his useless teammates, never complaining when they turned it over or threw up airballs. You have to admire someone so willing to sacrifice winning in favor of stroking the inflated ego of his untalented teammates. Then again, maybe he had some foresight; basketball is a five man game. Maybe one guy can carry you offensively, but that’s no defensive blueprint. So he inspired confidence and effort. After eventually easing his way into the selfish offensive weapon his team needed, they were happy to relinquish their offensive grips. Four straight buckets later, we were sitting on the wrong end of an 11-9 final score.