Kiss The Rings: 8 Dime Writers Run Their Own NBA Mock Draft

Everyone has favorites. How you grew up, where you grew up, your interests, style, it all affects what type of player you ride for. In the Dime office, we are constantly arguing, constantly assaulting each other’s views. In the dead of summer, we’ve been floating around one idea for a while: what if we did a Dime mock draft…basically, a fantasy draft but instead of statistics, we’re aiming for a ring? If you had one year to win a title, who would you draft? That’s the basis.

With the lockout and the talk that maybe the league is better off with contraction, what would the NBA look like if we actually did contract? What would the league look like if we only had eight teams, like this was the 1960s?

So we went ahead with a live mock draft and a random draft order. All eight of us who participated truly believe we have the best team. The teams are presented in the first round draft order (it snaked after that). Jaimie had the first pick, I had the second and so on… Everyone gives you their reasonings, why their team can’t be beat or why their team could blow up in their face. Tonight, we are going to put all of this to the test in NBA 2K11, simulating a tournament to see who really has the best squad. For now, we’ll let y’all decide…

*** *** ***

Team F.T. SwindleJaimie Canterbury
LeBron James
John Wall
Joe Johnson
Stephen Curry
Luis Scola
Derrick Williams
Brandon Roy
DeAndre Jordan
Caron Butler
Jeff Green
Jonas Valanciunas
Jimmer Fredette
Chris “Birdman” Anderson
Jose Juan Barea

Head coach: John Calipari
Team F.T Swindle was basically built around our first pick, LeBron James. We feel that we have the perfect mix of athlete’s, outside shooters, and rebounders. Not to mention everybody (with the exception of Birdman) can put up double figures on any given night. Top to bottom, team F.T. Swindle is stacked. Don’t ask me how we came up on such a great roster, just know we got lucky, hence the name F.T Swindle (for the swindle).

Best-case scenario:
LeBron averages a triple-double with ease on this team. While he penetrates the basket looking for his own buckets, he will have a handful of the best shooters in the NBA to kick the ball out to. The same goes for John Wall & Joe Johnson. With guys like Curry, Roy, Fredette & Barea on the floor, our team is liable to wet 15-20 3’s on any given night. Not to mention second chance points won’t be an issue with DeAndre, Birdman & Scola going hard in the paint. Derrick Wlliams & Jonas are works in progress. Whatever they contribute to the team is a plus. Jeff Green and Caron Butler are our silent killers who can play both the 3 & 4 spot. Simply put, there’s nothing team F.T swindle doesn’t have an answer for. We have the firepower to outscore any team, as well as the defensive quickness & athleticism to give opponents a hard time. Not to mention we’ve got coach Cal running the show.

Worst-case scenario:
The only thing that really doesn’t swing in team F.T Swindle’s favor is the fact that there’s only one basketball. We have so many scoring threats that guys could begin to get upset if the ball isn’t coming their way as often as they’d like. Especially for those that like to dominate the basketball *cough cough* LeBron, *cough* Brandon Roy. Another thing is, (although games probably wouldn’t go down to the wire too often) when we need a clutch basket there aren’t too many sure hands on this roster. LeBron & Joe Johnson (our two best players) have shown some flashes of the clutch gene, but they have also performed disappearing acts better than Chris Angel. If they’re both on their period & don’t want the ball in crunch time, our next go to guy would be Roy & that’s not saying much. Luckily, our roster is so stacked that we won’t have to worry about that too often. Overall, it’s championship or failure for team F.T Swindle.

Tha Family- Sean Sweeney
PG: Steve Nash, Kyle Lowry & Kemba Walker
SG: Dwyane Wade, Manu Ginobili, Arron Afflalo & Wes Matthews
SF: Dorell Wright & Anthony Morrow
PF: Zach Randolph, Al Horford
C: Nene, Marcin Gortat, Marcus Camby & Greg Oden
Coach: Lionel Hollins

So I’ve got one year to win a title? And I can pick anyone I want? Okay, when I found out we were doing our own Dime Mock Draft aka What The League Would Look Like If We Went Back to The ’60s (with eight teams), I created an outline: I need a finisher, I need two or three good-to-great players who know the pecking order and I need athletic/versatile defenders. And if I could get a bunch of vets, that would be the icing. THAT’s how you win titles. That’s the formula right there. It’s not about stars or talent. It’s not about having more All-Stars.

Look at my squad: I have everything you need, and wisely picked just a few truly great players (or players who think they’re great) because more is less (and less is more). Who else has role players like Afflalo, Matthews, Lowry, Wright, Horford & Gortat? Willing role players. Big difference. They will have no problems sacrificing shots and minutes.

BEST CASE SCENARIO: Z-Bo loves playing with Nash and those two, along with a killer season from D-Wade, play like beasts. Manu and D-Wade take turns closing teams out, Nene and Al Horford close off the basket, not letting anyone score and we develop a reputation as the “Don’t F— Wit’ Us” Squad. Any team that wants to step to us quickly learns you don’t mess with these dudes without getting bodied/Oakley’d.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: The bench guys get so physical in practice that Nash breaks down and his back gives out, Afflalo and Matthews go so hard they both wear each other out, and Z-Bo reverts back to the pre-Grizz Z-Bo. Lionel Hollins loses the touch and forgets how to coach, Greg Oden stays injured and then Manu can’t take any of this and leaves mid-season for retirement.

Scott Horlbeck
Dwight Howard
Chris Bosh
Rajon Rondo
Andre Iguodala
Monta Ellis
Eric Gordon
Brook Lopez
Wilson Chandler
David Lee
Jrue Holiday
Carlos Boozer
Ricky Rubio
J.J. Redick
Paul Milsap
Adonal Foyle

Head coach: Mike Krzyzewski
My strategy going into the draft was simple: Defense, rebounding, and depth. Why you ask? Because that’s what wins championships. Look it up.

At the number three spot, I knew LeBron and Wade would be gone. This made my decision to take Dwight Howard – the best big man in the NBA – a heck of a lot easier. After Howard, I contemplated taking a point guard with my second pick. However, thanks to my superhuman-fantasy-football-see-it-coming-from-a-mile-away-draft-awareness, I noticed a certain trend: point guards were slipping. With the 14th pick, I knew I could go in a different direction and still get an elite point guard on the snake back. I set my sights on Blake Griffin, but Kevin took him the pick before – constraining me to take Chris Bosh, the best PF available. Six picks later I was up again, and just like I planned, an elite point guard – Rajon Rondo – had fallen right into my lap. With Howard, Bosh, and Rondo – I had defense, rebounding, shot blocking, steals. Everything I wanted. I went Andre Iguodala, Monta Ellis and Eric Gordon with my next three picks – adding perimeter defense and offensive fire power – then stockpiled depth like a maniac on Hoarders.

Best Case Scenario: My team is a defensive force. The bigs control the paint – eliminating any and all second chance opportunities. Iguodala locks up the “scorer,” Rondo torments the opposing PG, Ellis and Gordon go bombs-away, and Lopez, Boozer, Lee and Milsap provide the depth. Coach K preaches “TEAM-TEAM-TEAM” and my squad cruises to low-scoring victory after victory after victory…

Worst Case Scenario: No worst case scenario for this team. Whomever the GM – and I commend him for this “masterpiece” – has assembled a roster too well-rounded, too strong defensively, too deep, and too well coached to ever to stopped in any facet of the imagination. The worst case scenario for this team are the days in between games when they’re not neutralizing opponents to a standstill and executing on offense like Seal Team 6. Good luck everybody – you’re going to need it.

Team With no regard for human life- Kevin Zimmerman
Head coach: Rick Carlisle
Starters:
Jason Kidd
Kevin Durant
Luol Deng
Blake Griffin
Marc Gasol

First five off bench:
Darren Collison
James Harden
Lamar Odom
Serge Ibaka
JaVale McGee

Last five off bench:
J.R. Smith
Tony Allen
Jan Vesely
Al Harrington
Mike Bibby

Instead of going for the most talented in the mock draft, I went with what I thought makes a complete team. Under the mad juggler of a coach in Rick Carlisle, my team can defensively match up, rebound and lockdown anyone with its length, athleticism, and most importantly, hunger. The idea behind that was drafting versatility. While the most potent aspect of the team is Kidd throwing lobs to Durant and Griffin, Harden and McGee, off the bench, the keys are Harden and Odom being versatile playmakers who could still be on the court in crunch time.

Best-case scenario, this team is something like the Dallas Mavericks of this past year. While Durant would be the go-to guy, the roster is diverse in its roles, and Durant only needs to be such come the fourth quarter. Because of the uniqueness of each player, roles would theoretically be formed into a well-oiled machine. Despite my Dime opponents’ believing this is the league’s throw-away team, I say there’s no worst-case scenario other than the risk of locker room squabble when somebody is making moves on Jan Vesely’s girl.

Team Lettuce, Tomato, Mayo- Dylan Murphy
Dirk Nowitzki
Russell Westbrook
Kevin Love
Danny Granger
Andrew Bynum
Danilo Gallinari
Tyreke Evans
Kyrie Irving
DeMarcus Cousins
Michael Beasley
Ed Davis
Enes Kanter
Ron Artest
O.J. Mayo
Gilbert Arenas

Head coach: Frank Vogel
I’m working with a pretty large range of talent, personalities and volatility. That’s why I’ve got my man Frank Vogel ready and willing to whip this calamitous group of stars into place. Of course you’re still probably asking, “how could Gilbert Arenas, Michael Beasley, DeMarcus Cousins and Ron Artest co-exist peacefully?” I put it at a 50-50 shot, and here’s why. On paper, I may just have the best talent base of any of the teams out there. With Dirk at the helm, my hope is that the troops will fall in line. Seeing his championship caliber play and demeanor, they may just shut their mouths, holster their guns and turn off the rap music for a second. If, and only if it all comes together, my squad’s cruising to the title.

Then again, DeMarcus Cousins could complain about lack of playing time behind Bynum, Dirk and Love. Ron Artest could upset the world peace and instead unleash some weapons of mass destruction. Gilbert really could make us check out the gun show and Michael Beasley may fail the preseason drug test. So really I’m looking at two totally opposite ends of the spectrum. Either Lettuce, Tomato, Mayo (my team name, of course) could cause the entire eight-team league to self-destruct, or they could bring order from chaos. Who knows.

Martin Kessler
Kobe Bryant
Derrick Rose
Pau Gasol
LaMarcus Aldridge
Gerald Wallace
Paul Pierce
Tyson Chandler
Tony Parker
Jason Terry
David West
Shawn Marion
Emeka Okafor
Tayshaun Prince
Anderson Varejao
Kyle Korver

Head coach: Tom Thibodeau
When the Black Mamba fell to me at No. 6, it felt like Christmas had come early this year. But then something even crazier happened. Derrick Rose, the reigning NBA MVP, was available at the 11th spot, and suddenly it felt like my 21st birthday had come 8 months early. With my backcourt and scoring taken care of, I figured I needed to add some size and defense with my next selections. So I picked up Pau Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Gerald Wallace to round out my starting five, and then got Paul Pierce and Tyson Chandler to come off the bench.

Like all the teams in this league, the potential for this squad is high. It’s certainly got star power in Bryant, Rose, and Aldridge, but it also has veteran role players with recent championship experience in Chandler, Jason Terry, and Shawn Marion to play defense and knock down shots off the bench. And with Tom Thibodeau at the helm and four of the 16 players from the past two season’s first and second NBA All-Defensive Teams, getting stops should be one of the squad’s strengths. However, it also has the potential to all go terribly wrong. What if Kobe can’t handle sharing the ball with another talented guard? What if Pierce is unable to accept his role coming off the bench? What if Gasol and Aldridge play too soft against bigger opponents? If those things happen, this team could end up just like the 2010-11 Miami Heat: ringless.

Ryan Imparato
PG: Chris Paul/Chauncey Billups/Ty Lawson
SG: Ray Allen/DeMar DeRozan/Nick Young
SF: Carmelo Anthony/Shane Battier/Trevor Ariza
PF: Kevin Garnett/Josh Smith/Kris Humphries
C: Joakim Noah/Kendrick Perkins/Roy Hibbert
Coach: Doc Rivers
The theme that I went with when drafting is simple: defensive wins championships. Drafting Chris Paul first was a no-brainer. He is in my opinion the best point guard in the league, a true floor general and a great defender. He is everything I would want in a team leader. I followed up by drafting Carmelo Anthony. Although his defense can be suspect at times, he is one of the best scorers inz the league. With the rest of the team being defensive-minded, ‘Melo can use up all of his energy on offense. Filling out the rest of the starting line-up is Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Joakim Noah. Superstars must be surrounded by shooters and who is a better shooter in the league right now than Jesus Shuttlesworth? Kevin Garnett is a ferocious competitor, a winner and was 1st Team All-Defense this past season. Joakim Noah is one of the best rebounders in the league, and will do the dirty work every single night.

First off the bench is Josh Smith, who’s versatility can be subbed in at the 3 or 4. “Mr. Big Shot” Chauncey Billups is the back up to Chris Paul. Billups has championship experience and is a solid shooter off the bench. DeRozan brings freak athleticism to the floor, which is a quality the starting line-up lacks. Shane Battier is a shut down defender off the bench, and can also knock down shots. Backing-up Joakim Noah is Kendrick Perkins, who once again, is a defensive-minded big who will bang with the best of them. The third unit consists of Ty Lawson, who is a speedy point-guard that will push the tempo, Nick Young who can flat out get buckets, Trevor Ariza who is another pure athlete, Kris Humphries who ranked in the top 5 this past season in rebounding, and Roy Hibbert, who provides another big body. Coach Doc Rivers plans to bring back the “no layup rule” this season. With a fan section that consists of Kim Kardashian, La La Anthony and Flo Allen, there is no way this team loses at home.

MMG Basketball EnterprisesMike Aufses
Deron Williams
Amar’e Stoudemire
Rudy Gay
Andrew Bogut
Andrea Bargnani
Stephen Jackson
Kevin Martin
Brandon Jennings
Tim Duncan
Devin Harris
Jamal Crawford
Rashard Lewis
Glen Davis
DeJuan Blair
Chase Budinger

Head coach: Gregg Popovich
MMG Basketball Enterprises is rapper/entrepreneur Rick Ross‘ first venture into owning a basketball team, and in true Ross style, the team is absolutely loaded from top to bottom. Teaming up with Jewish, Italian, Turkish, and Australian investors, our team samples the finest basketball from all the corners of the globe.

As Rick’s GM, I knew that having the eighth and final pick of the first round might mean I’d miss out on some of the obvious stars around the league, but I knew I would have a great opportunity to steal tremendous guard/forward combination with my first two picks. Hence, D-Will and Amar’e, who will no doubt bring in fans from Turkey and Israel (not to mention New York and New Jersey) and become an unstoppable alley-oop combo. To bolster scoring, I went with Rudy Gay in the third round, who will take our shots in crunch time. Then I locked down Andrew Bogut to be our true center and Andrea Bargani to launch threes, both of which will expand our global reach.

I tried to fill out the bench with a collection of interesting personalities and strong ballers. Brandon Jennings, Stephen Jackson, and Jamal Crawford are just a few. But just in case tempers flare in the locker room, we brought in ageless vets Tim Duncan and Gregg Popovich to calm things down.

Which team is the best?

Follow Sean on Twitter at @SEANesweeney.

Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.

Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.

×