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Smack / Aug 24, 2011 / 12:00 am

The Great Wall Of Washington D.C.

John Wall

John Wall (photo. Washington Wizards)

Now obviously, winning Rookie of the Year last year was pretty much an impossibility for him. But no one ever gives John Wall the credit he deserves for his first season. Yeah, Washington sucked, but it wasn’t his fault. His numbers were legit, and that was even with a number of frustrating injuries. Early in the year, Wall was consistently putting up lines like 21 points, 11 assists, four rebounds, three steals. But then he hurt his left foot, and then bruised his right knee. The season ended quietly, and everyone forgot how good he was (if we hear one more person talk about Landry Fields like he was on Wall’s level, we might march). Wall is now telling the Washington Post that he’s completely healthy, and that he can blow by people again. The explosion is back, the stuff that made us so giddy about this dude when he was murdering people in high school, at Kentucky and during the first few months of last season. Watch out … One of the great NBA writers and Laker historians, Roland Lazenby, finished a book last year on the franchise called “Jerry West: The Life and Legend of a Basketball Icon.” No one can argue with a book solely focused on the Logo. It has it’s share of exciting and interesting moments. But there’s an except about Magic Johnson (around the time he was diagnosed with HIV) that was posted by HoopsHype. It can’t be topped. Lazenby wrote that Magic had anywhere from 300-500 sexual partners a year. Insane. Magic’s batting percentages were pretty high back then, but even this is over the top: “The team’s locker room, and its sauna, had been a place where the star and other players had entertained women, even right after games. Johnson would retire to the sauna after a game, have sex, then put on a robe and return to the locker room for his postgame media interviews.” Ah, the postgame rubdown. Are we sure we know how Magic got his nickname? … What’s your favorite Kobe stat of all-time? We compiled 33 cool numbers for his birthday … Y’all know how much we love God Shammgod. He’s one of the best ballhandlers and most exciting players ever. Now, his son is making a name for himself as Shammgod Wells (his father’s name in high school). Wells is a rising senior at LaSalle in NYC, and is thinking about doing a post-grad year so he could possibly play at a place like Providence. God Shammgod says of his son in the New York Post: “One more year of work? Trust me. He’s gonna be a freak of nature.” Woah, slow down there pops … Here’s another reason to go to Vegas: lots and lots of NBA players, doing something they can’t really do right now: play in a league with each other … Just like we will always remember where we were for the East Coast earthquake of 2011, we still remember exactly what we were doing while this was going on … Sadly, legendary Tennessee coach Pat Summitt was diagnosed with early onset dementia. But thankfully for all basketball fans, she will continue to coach and continue to build memories. At first, Summitt thought the condition was a side effect to some medication she was taking. But now, she plans to fight it through medication and mental exercises. Dementia is a progressive condition that destroys cognitive abilities over time (stuff like memory, judgment and behavior). Our thoughts and prayers go out to those involved. Summitt is one of game’s greatest coaching legends. Period … Lions wideout Nate Burleson recently celebrated a touchdown against Cleveland by re-enacting LeBron‘s powder toss. He explained it by saying he had thought about doing it, and then once the Dawg Pound starting getting on him, he said screw it, where’s the powder? … And Rick Adelman finally met with Minnesota GM David Kahn yesterday. They’ve been in contact before, but this face-to-face meeting shows the offensive guru is strongly interested in taking that job. Would you rather have Adelman or Don Nelson? … We’re out like East Coast earthquakes.

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  • That’s What’s Up

    Magic was doin’ well, but those numbers are crazy

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Er5TsQrGg alf (from melmak)

    Makes me appreciate more that I was a Boston fan back then. Blue collared hard working guys over a team that calls themselves “Showtime”. Up to now, I still think that Magic Johnson smile was just a mask to hide something sinister.

    For sheer entertainment on and off the court, I vote for Don Nelson to coach the Timberwolves.

    Call me crazy but I think after all is said and done, John Wall will have a better career than Deron Williams and Chris Paul.

  • beiber newz

    john wall was a better distributor than most veterans and he played in washington

  • Me

    “The team’s locker room, and its sauna, had been a place where the star and other players had entertained women, even right after games. Johnson would retire to the sauna after a game, have sex, then put on a robe and return to the locker room for his postgame media interviews.”

    Reminds me of Cam’ron’s Fantastic Four Verse:

    “cuz they lick my balls, right after i play ball. no washup no nothin’ hear what i say y’all?”

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Quiznakes K Dizzle

    300-500 a season?

    Greatest Laker of all-time lol.

    Between Magic n Wilt scoopin up all the coochie, it’s no wonder AC Green took some years off chasin that tail…

  • http://www.cosmosmagazine.com northern lights

    Hey Dime, you guys check the date on the link you posted recalling Magic’s sex life? February 2010, the same time ESPN published Lazenby’s book. Old news.

  • heckler

    300-500 partners a year? HOT DAMN!!
    ..rumor is some of those partners including men. “they” say Magic used to let men give him top. I dunno, and I doubt that I care…but Im just saying….

    I wanna see John Wall have a solid career. I was not sold on him at Kentucky. seems like he’s gonna be linked to brandon jennings for a long time as rivals.
    as for him having a better career than chris paul or deron williams—doubtful if he plays the majority of his career in dc.

    anyone on this board who doesnt know God Shammgod–go shoot yourself.

    @ Pat Summit — hang in there. We’re rooting for you to win this next battle!

    Don Nelson can probably do some CREATIVE things with that Wolves roster; but they aint gonna win shit.
    rubio, wesley, derrick williams, beasley, kevin love, darko, bassy….damn, Nellie can make some things happen

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    Fellas, I just found a decent read on the teams appearing in NBA 2k12… passing along to the younger gamers to get acquainted with the rosters.

    http://kotaku.com/5832465/pistol-pete-chocolate-thunder-and-sid-the-squid-crack-nba-2k12s-legendary-lineup-too

  • Skeeter McGee

    Let’s just say it was 400 a year for Magic. That would mean at least 1 different woman getting railed out a day, with some days having more than 1. God Bless. Not to mention the fact that he probably had repeat offenders, so the actual sex count was probably in the thousands. He put in hours at the gym working on his game, but did it have to do with basketball? Haha, my man…

    No homo, but you know the ladies called him Magic cause of his Johnson; 50 Cent’s magic stick song was based on Magic’s Johnson, no lie… #pause

  • Young Gunner AKA Andius Oneicus: God Of Buckets

    The truth is far more sinister

  • First & Foremost

    It is hard to imagine Wilt getting 27 boards a game when Kevin Love is given 110% to get 15. 300-500 partners a season correlates to after a finals loss, he wasn’t in the gym practicing.

    NBA Superstars today would probably top out at 150 a year. Maybe Kurt Thomas is putting up those numbers…
    “Wow, you tall…”
    “Yeah”
    “You play basketball or somethin'”
    “Yeah”
    “For who?”
    “Chicago Bulls”
    “Do you play with Jordan and them?”
    “Haha… yeah”
    “What’s your name then?”
    “Big Sexy…”
    “Why they call you that?”
    *Crazy Eye Stare* “Wanna find out?”

  • jzsmoove

    another player proclaiming they are fine after a lackluster year and battling injuries. very original. no one will admit the full extent of their injuries when there is a next big contract coming their way.

  • beiber newz

    waLL is not linked to jennings in my eyes. wall will be better. just saying.

  • JBaller

    So Magic had 300-500 girls on his jock per year. He got HIV and all the negative impact that comes with it. He has lived a long time since then and accomplished a great deal. So here is my question to those of you who are applauding his numbers in spite of his disease…

    If you could get it on with 300-500 women in a year, but it meant that you would get HIV, would you do it? Personally I find it hard to say that those 300-500 ladies would be worth it, as I would rather stay free of HIV. Whether or not I had the money to prolong my life as Magic has I would still have to say no. And I love me some pu$$y!

  • First & Foremost

    JBaller – Don’t you know how some people can still be chain smokers at like 95 and still walking around relatively fine. Magic is just one of those people but with HIV.

    The disease has become manageable. It isn’t a death sentence but more like life without parole in a minimum security facility. Like 99.99% of the world who believes they will die sooner or later, does it really matter how you go out.

    “It isn’t how you start or finish. It is how you work the middle.” -FnF

  • Imperial-Mel

    YO! @F&F You got that down to a science!

  • JBaller

    Yo f&f, you have made some sence for sure, but I still want to know if you would take the mad pu$$y and the hiv, or skip it all together.

  • JBaller

    Plus, anybody who watches south park knows that the price of living with hiv is $147,000,000.

  • JBaller

    BTW…If only 99.99% of the world believes they will die sooner or later, that means that .01% of the world is delusional, since in fact 100% of the world will die eventually, only to be replaced with more of us, and on, and on…

  • First & Foremost

    My percentages may be a little off because more than a few do some stupid stuff as if it won’t kill you.

    For the original quesiton, I’m risk adverse so no, I wouldn’t happily embrace 300-500 “partners” a season. The word partners is not gender specific either. For all I know Magic caught it from a dude who banged a monkey named Chim-chim. I’d rather have the same woman 300-500 times a year. I don’t have to be a player, I just wanna crush a lot.

  • JBaller

    I agree. I’m married already, so even though I never had a shot at gettin 300+ ladies, I made my choice and am happily hiv free.

    Chim chim is some funny ish!

  • Big Island

    I’d rather jerk off than get the HIV. I’m good with that. Now if I could space out the girls, maybe 2 a month for the next 20+ years, and then get HIV when I am around 70, hell yeah. But I would have to be able to choose any woman, like movie stars and stuff. They couldn’t just be smoking hot chicks, they’d have to be famous.

    Hopefully Wall can stay healthy, but if he’s one of those guys that gets dinged up and misses games all of the time, maybe it just isn’t meant to be. The dude has skills though.

    The Pat Summit thing is sad. I’ve seen some people go through that and it is pretty bad sometimes. My buddy’s grandfather has it, and he’s always having to deal with some of the weird crap. Although it was funny when I went by his house to pick him up for some golf, and his grandpa starts talking to me about the running boards on my truck (I don’t have them), and I was asking him about his St. Louis Cardinals hat, and he starts talking about they are his favorite football team. My buddy walks out of the house and says “He thinks it’s a 49ers hat dude, let’s just go.” I still crack up at that one.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    Magic got the HIV cure… don’t get it twisted.

    And to those of you who still think there’s no cure…. look that shit up. It exists, and the antibodies kills the 80% of all known HIV strains.

    Magic got that shit.

  • s.bucketz

    @23
    and it only cost him $147 gs

    John wall wasn’t on Landry’s level for the first half of the season (til NY got melo)…any1 who says otherwise is a hype beast suckin on the teet of John Wall’s name

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    @s.bucketz
    No doubt… however much it costs him, he doesn’t have the cooties anymore.

  • http://www.geturweightup.com Chicagorilla

    Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. With that said, 300 partners a year for Magic is a damn lie.
    Porn stars don’t even do that and it’s their job to fuck. It’s not even physically possible because your shit will be sore after doing it a week straight, trust me i know.

    More importantly, s/o to Pat Summitt. The greatest college basketball coach i’ve ever seen male or female. She’s also one of the greatest coaches all time regardless of sport or gender. Sad to see whats going on with her.

    John Wall will need to really improve two things to surpass Deron or CP3. One is his jump shooting. The other is his IQ. With his length and athletic ability he could turn out to be a Gary Payton like player.

  • beiber newz

    people really talking about jerking off on dime?