Smack / Aug 12, 2011 / 12:00 am

The Young And The Restless

Ron Artest

Ron Artest, Dime #21

Rumors of Ron Artest playing in the UK were met with skepticism. The league he’s aiming for is probably the worst in all of Europe, and the team doesn’t even have the money to satisfy Artest. But now officials with the team he is signing with, the Cheshire Jets, are offering to help Artest with his career off the court. There is even talk of getting the Tru Warier onto a soap opera, where he could show how young and restless he really is. Can someone please make this happen? Artest could definitely play the overbearing boyfriend who butts heads with a rival over a lover and overdramatizes every scene … One of the biggest names going into the Hall of Fame this weekend is Arvydas Sabonis. We can’t count how many people have told us how he would’ve been unbelievable without the injuries, how he was robbed of his athleticism, and then robbed of a chance to play in the NBA by his government. But imagine if Sabonis had gotten to the NBA during his prime, with injuries or not. At the time, Portland was the most talented team in the West, and made the Finals twice despite lacking star power inside. With Sabonis there, things could’ve been VERY different, championship different. He was that good … What’s more annoying: Bruce Bowen? Or Bruce Bowen’s bow ties? We appreciate good taste, and we can feel you if you’re all about being different and separating yourself, but seriously bow ties? Every single day? They lose their luster if you go overboard with them. Bowen doesn’t seem to care, and he took a few people shopping with him to show how he gets down … We asked y’all yesterday if you thought Dwight Howard could really gain much from another summer session with Hakeem Olajuwon. After this long in the league, you are what you are at this point. He will probably never be Hakeem in the post just because that’s not his game, not his style. But Superman showed us recently: don’t underestimate him. You ever seen a big man move like that? … We dropped Brandon Jennings vs. Josh Selby, II yesterday and everyone we talked to was buzzing about how Selby gave the Bucks PG 40+ a second time. Looking deeper into the game, Jennings was putting in serious work before barely touching the ball in the second half. He actually scored 14 of his team’s first 16 points, banging threes like it was nothing … That back and forth was crazy, but check out the lobs Donte Greene and John Wall caught. More importantly, some dude behind the basket does his best Mark Madsen impersonation … Meanwhile, Wall had 36 points and was COMPLETELY into the game, jawing with everyone and playing like it was a playoff game in the NBA … 2K unveiled the soundtrack for NBA 2K12, and the lineup includes headlining artists like Royce & Em, Travis Barker, Kurtis Blow, Q-Tip and Pharoahe Monch & Smif N Wessun … Vanderbilt’s John Jenkins (24 points) canned eight threes in USA Men’s World University Games Team’s 88-61 exhibition win over the Chinese professional team New Century … Timofey Mozgov (18 points) apparently abused one poor defender with a monster facial in Russia’s 91-76 win over Lithuania in a tune-up for EuroBasket 2011 … The same team that was trying to sign Jordan Farmar, Maccabi Haifa, announced they have signed the talented Sean Williams to a two-year contract through the 2012-13 season … And Dennis Rodman plans to arrive at the Hall of Fame on a helicopter. How fitting. He also invited Howard Stern as his guest, and may even bring acrobats with him to perform … We’re out like Artest soap operas.

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  • Promoman

    Dwight’s more athletic than Hakeem ever was. The tutelage would help him in those times when Dwight is given the ball in areas and at times where he’d need to have skills that can get him at least a trip to the foul line. That’d be useful since Stan Van Gundy & Dwight’s teammates still find it intelligent to freeze Dwight out or give him in the ball outside his range, especially during critical junctures during games or big games period. The Magic & Hawks series is prime proof. Dwight probably could’ve came close or broke Jordan’s playoff record along with winning the game if it weren’t for those idiots not getting him the ball the entire second half.

  • Skeeter McGee

    Rodman ain’t right but I sure as hell wanna see all of the above mentioned.

  • http://www.DarkWingPro.com DarkWing Productions

    Artest is THAT DUDE. I can’t wait until he retires and has more free time to do all sort of Artest-like things.

    Until I see some footage, I find it hard to believe that Sabonis was very athletic. In Portland, he might have been the most heavy-footed-sloth-like-moving player I’ve ever seen. He was nice though, he had a feel for the game that was phenomenal. Very cerebral player.

    Dime you overhyped the shit outta Dwight going to coast to coast. All he did was maintain his dribble, with no defense, in a summer league game. I don’t care who you are, if you’re in the NBA and can’t do something that fundamental, you don’t even deserve to be in the D-League.

    It’s cool to see all these NBA players really embracing “streetball” style summer league like this. Feels like the early 2000’s again.

    When I think Mozgov, I also think Miloc from the commercial (not sure the company). And what’s the point of telling us about a facial but not posting the footage?

    I’m sick of all this “player X might play for random foreign team Y.” Wake me up after tipoff when it actually goes down.

    Rodman should come through with Bria Myles – it’d help her already sky high Q-rating after that Ghetto Dreams video.


  • Promoman

    @ Darkwing Productions

    Prime Arvydas Sabonis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBdxARINWok

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Er5TsQrGg alf (from melmak)

    Imagine if David Stern brought along Howard Stern to the negotiating table and introduced him as his brother and closest adviser. The initial look on the faces of Derek Fisher and Billy Hunter would be priceless.

    Ron Artest would be a good fit to do a television show with Ali G or Mr. Bean in England. Wait. Thinking. Mr. Bean is in a hospital and Ali G is now Bruno. Hmmmm. What if a network takes a chance on him and have him star in a revamped version of The Cosby Show with Ron taking the part of Bill.

  • john

    Sabonis was a 7-3 Antawn Jamison.

  • Me

    sabonis was athletic for a European (Asian?)

    which is to say, he could make it to the kitchen and back during a commercial break.

    I wasn’t impressed with the Howard video either, but he definitely moved like he wasn’t 7 feet tall. It wasn’t what he did, it’s how he did it. very quick and coordinated, which seemingly is very hard to do when you’re that tall. If you didn’t know who it was, you’d assume the dude was like 6’4″ by the way he moved.

    I dunno if you could say Howard is more athletic than Hakeem. More physical? stronger? sure. But I still say hakeem in his prime does the same thing to howard he did to david robinson (who is probably the best howard comparison physically).

  • Promoman


    I agree. When it comes to Hakeem, David and Dwight are better athletes but neither are better players.

  • 5850

    Bowen just sticks to his bow ties, because he’s BOWen, he thinks it’s cool and all. Only he’s not a cool person and it’s all feels bizarro.

  • Thanatos

    more videos of Arvydas Sabonis in his prime:
    You say he wasn’t athletic? He’s playing against David Robinson in this footage. Arvydas is 21 and David is 20 here. Robinson is no. 11 from team USA.

  • http://www.cracked.com/funny-353-kobe-bryant/ Atom

    Dont know if athletic is the first word that comes to mind but looks pretty great in the tape. Best part is def the put-back where he climbs up Robinson’s back and throws it home. Ruthless.

    BTW: Howard is more athletic than Hakeem. Not a better player though, but it is possible he will be before all is said and done.


    Ron Artest in Hollyoaks… please. Would probably be the most hilarious thing ever.

    Arvydas Sabonis was nice, if he played in the NBA all his career he would have been one of the greats. I still think it would go: Kareem, Hakeem, Shaq, Robinson as top 4 but after that I think you could start considering Sabonis along with the rest of the pack. He was never about athleticism though, he was about basketball IQ, sure he was more athletic in his prime… but not athletic.

    Okay dime comment section; where did this rumor of European people not being athletic start? The same place the British=Bad Teeth one did? Do they devote a section of the American government to creating these rumors?

    I think Selby is going to make a lot of teams regret passing on him, none more so than the Knicks.

    2K soundtracks are always good.

  • Chaos

    Dwight and David were def better RAW athletes but Hakeem had insane footwork and was smoother when he played. He was just so fluid in his movements that he just made it all look easy

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Quiznakes K Dizzle

    @ Dime
    ” You ever seen a big man move like that?”









    Thanks for playin. You win a free history lesson…

  • Mandirigma

    DH doesn’t really strike fear into the hearts of anyone. It’s just that we’re having a shortage of bigs and the game is more NBA guard-oriented.

    If you put DH in the 90s, he’d be laughed at and considered as Kenyon Martin minus the ink.


    Yep. That’s how it would go. I’d even throw Karl Malone in that list and say he’s better than DH12.

  • Big Island

    Dwight Howard is a bigger Ben Wallace. No more, no less. Since they can’t transport Howard back to play against the other guys, it just has to be argued about. I’d even put Mourning and Smits on Mandarigma’s list. Who knows, if Dwight had played against those guys, he may have worked on his game more than he has since he would’ve had to. I never learned to shoot outside of 10 feet until I found out that there were actually 6’7″/6’8″ guys. I learned to square up at the 3 point line real quick.

    I remember hearing all kinds of crazy stuff about Sabonis getting his ankles broken by guys who didn’t want him to leave Russia to play.

    Robinson was the most coordinated big man I have ever seen. Not the best IMO, but just ran and moved better than anyone. I’ve seen him in person a few times back home and that dude is a specimen. Fuck you genetics.

  • First & Foremost

    If we are discrediting NBA bigs today because of the style of play and say they couldn’t cut it in earlier decades. Shouldn’t we discredit the NBA guards of prior eras and say they couldn’t cut it in this decade?

    Would Alexander the Great or Genghis Khan been able to cut it in today’s style of warfare? Times have changed so would the players you mentioned above make it in today’s game? [Kemp=Blake=Not-a-Center] All of the guys you mentioned would play for teams that don’t play inside out. They would have to deal with flopping and ticky-tack calls. They would be in the same boat Dwight is in.

    If you put Dwight in the 90s, does he go to Georgetown? Does he enter the league at 22 instead of 18? A simple drag and drop doesn’t work because too many aspects have changed. However, I won’t stop you from using your imagination.

  • First & Foremost

    Anyone else notice Ron Artest’s shape-up in that picture?

  • King

    Promoman says:

    “Dwight’s more athletic than Hakeem ever was.”

    you should be banned doing anything basketball related for a week

  • Promoman

    @ King

    Whatever dude. Dwight is more athletic but that’s it. He’s not a better player. I said that back at post #8. You should be banned from attempting forays into reading or anything that requires intellect for a week according to your logic.

  • Bear

    Bruce Bowen is a prick. I saw him as an “ambassador” at NBA europe live at o2 london, the guy was about 2 feet from me, i shouted out “bruce!” ( i hated him, but respected him coming to london with a bow tie), he glanced at me and carried on walking. Nobody in the crowd knew who the hell he was, only me and the so called “Ambassador” couldn’t even smile, wave or say “hey, don’t i look like a douche in this bowtie”. I didn’t like him as a player (In miami or Boston and hated him more in San Ant), and he just is a dick.

  • Big Island

    F&F – I would take an 80’s/90’s team over just about any team from any era. The guys now as a whole are way more athletic, but they don’t have the skills. Anything before the 80’s probably had more skill, but the athleticism just wasn’t as great as a whole. The 80’s/90’s had the skills and we started seeing some really athletic guys. I think guards from the earlier era would foul out in 3 seconds because of the rules changing.

  • Skeeter McGee

    Who’s the better Big Euro: Sabonis or Divac?

  • Promoman

    Sabonis without question. Divac had better numbers in the NBA because he was on better teams and more touches.

  • JBaller

    I gotta say Hakeem was pretty damn atheletic. Just cause he never entered or won a silly dunk contest by dressing up like superman doesn’t mean the dream was some slouch.


    I’m dying here at the thought someone out there thinks DH is a bigger Ben Wallace… not sure if serious?

    I we’re gonna do comparisons; he’s a better defending, less promiscuous, better rebounding Shawn Kemp with a better attitude.

    If he goes back to the 90’s, DH would be a PF. He could not play center back then. He’d still be an all star because he’s charming (No homo) an excellent defender and rebounder and almost nightly threat for a 15/15/2 game… that wouldn’t change regardless of era.