Smack / Sep 20, 2011 / 12:00 am

Bank Of Kobe

No NBA players will be hitting up Bank of America if they’re in need of loans during the lockout. Why, just go to Kobe Bryant. He’ll hand out loans. Seriously. Billy Hunter, president of the Players Association, told the Los Angeles Times that the Laker star is intimately involved in the talks and negotiations and that he’s (along with other unnamed players) prepared to offer loans to players who may need help during the lockout … Will Rashad McCants be the first to ask Bryant for money since he’s been “locked out” for two years and doesn’t want to play with anyone in the whole league besides Kobe? … While everyone, including us, were busy praising John Wall for taking over the Impact League, we all forgot about Kyle Lowry. Lowry, who has to be one of the 10 best players in the league that NO ONE ever mentions, went undefeated for the week. He also dropped 25 & 14 on Wall (even though Wall had 42, nine and eight himself) and had a game of 49 points (on 18 shots!). Lowry still balls like he’s a ninth grader trying to make the JV team, and it’s super refreshing … We’re still looking at SU and Pitt’s exodus from the Big East kind of backwards since it’s a great basketball conference as-is. So, with Syracuse and Pitt skipping town, where does Big East stalwart and 2011 NCAA Tournament champion UConn weigh in on the possibility of switching conferences? Well Jim Calhoun recently dropped his two cents with the Associated Press (via The Washington Post) and gave a few hints. The coach stated, “From a basketball standpoint, I would love to be at the most powerful conference in America,” but said the decision to stay or jump ship is in the higher ups’ hands. Then he followed with this quote. “If you are going to keep that relationship with Syracuse and try to build that long-term rivalry, and build it with Pitt, that type of thing, then the only way evidently that would happen is if Connecticut went to the ACC…” The potential to maintain old rivalries as well as build new ones with UNC and Duke seems too appealing to pass up. Hoops would still play second fiddle to college football. Still, a possible trifecta of SU, Pitt and UConn to the ACC could continue the trend of creating monster conferences … Is Jerry Sloan good on coaching again? Yep, well at least for the time being. The Salt Lake Tribune‘s Steve Luhm talked to the ex-coach as well as his wife Tammy and others on the chances that Sloan returns to the league (great read by the way). Sloan’s wife says that Sloan is fine when he’s working on their farm, but gets really bored whenever he’s in Utah and that “I just don’t see him staying retired. I just can’t see that happening.” We don’t mean to be smart asses but Tammy, who wouldn’t be bored out of their mind in Utah? Of course the piece wouldn’t be complete without hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth. Jerry Sloan told Luhm, “I don’t think you can ever say, ‘No.’ But I’m not agonizing over it, that’s for sure… I think I’ll always be able to find something to do. The camaraderie we had with the players and coaches all those years was special and now, all of a sudden, it stops. There’s a void there, no question about that. But do I miss it that much? I’d say, ‘Not really.’ But we’ll see.” These old heads always leave folks hanging on a string. In all seriousness, we wouldn’t be surprised if he returned to the NBA at some capacity. He doesn’t have much else to prove from the bench considering he’s a Hall of Famer but he has a wealth of basketball information to share. It’d be a shame to keep it all to him. If that’s what he wishes, we have to respect his decision … Quick, seven-on-seven game of football, who are you taking from the NBA? Is Brandon Jennings one of them? … In one of the greatest celebrity hookups of all-time, more details leaked on the White on Rice one weekend stand. At the time of the encounter, Sarah Palin apparently was really into black guys. Did that play a part in the hookup? Maybe. But then what did Glen Rice have? A fetish for terrible accents? … NBA 2K12 released another Developer Insight on the controls, and drove home the point that it’ll be all about giving the user more options. From the dribble to changing shots in midair to defending shots, 2K took basically every canned animation out of the game so that we’d never feel helpless. Also, some of the ratings have been released and not only is LeBron rated higher than Kobe (98 to 94), D-Wade is also higher (96). How do you feel about that?. And get ready. If the demo hasn’t released yet, it will be out VERY soon … We’re out like Ray J/Fabolous beef.

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  • beiber newz

    ughhhh i want a late night meal. i feel like a sloth. i want some general tso’s chicken with pork fried rice..and a grape soda and a honey bun for dessert. then some skittles and head from a puerto rican shawty.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Er5TsQrGg alf (from melmak)

    What if Deron Williams going to the Nets and Jerry Sloan retiring was just part of a grand design to get the Jazz all the weapons they need to go very deep into the playoffs?

    Fact is Sloan retired without giving much of a reason. Fact is DWill’s contract expires in 2012 and is non-committal to signing with the Nets. Fact is that Dwill still has a home in Utah and has always maintained he loves the place. Fact is Tyrone Corbin is a Sloan disciple. Fact is the Jazz have four lottery players from the last three drafts. Fact is the Jazz, even with a hard cap in place has the flexibility to get one or two more quality players.

    If DWill and Sloan returns to Utah, they will find a team that can compete with anyone and win.

    But do not take it from me. I grew up believing in Mulder and Scully.

    Oh, and by the way. Disregarding all information about Sarah Palin and just basing everything on her current looks, I believe that she can still do wonders in bed. Or in the shower for that matter.

  • Jzsmoove

    Garnett and Shaq (even though retired) should be authorizing loans too. They both can afford too from having had multiple max contacts in their career.

  • First & Foremost

    That pick up line by Jerry Sloan seems like it will work more times than not.
    “I don’t think you can ever say, ‘No’.”

  • http://www.geturweightup.com Chicagorilla

    @Dime

    The 2k12 Demo is out now on Xbox. PS3 has to wait until like 6pm eastern time because PS hates us. I am one of the few 2kers who have been playing since it dropped back on dreamcast. And I gotta say im not really looking forward to them doing away with canned animations. It sounds great in theory, but i believe it will lead to guys doing crazy moves and lay ups with players that shouldn’t be able to do them like NBA live used to be. Nothing worse than watching a guy like CJ Watson go in for a lay up, then double clutch reverse flip it over his shoulder for the and1 like he was Jordan. Or even better, watching JJ Reddick pull off one on one dribble moves like he is the 2nd coming of Allen Iverson. Im hoping 2k has something to counter that kinda cheese.

    Kobe giving out loans? That may be the best thing i ever read about him. Kinda shows that he has matured as a man. Im actually impressed.

    I’ll start it here. JERRY SLOAN TO COACH THE BOBCATS!!!! That would be the shit.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    Is it just me, or has the Beib been a bit perverted these last few weeks?

    Re: Lebron/Wade > Kobe in 2K12
    I don’t care about overall ratings in games… Sometimes the lesser rating is still better because of the tendencies. 98 to 94 is a big difference though… lebron likely gets the boost because of his rebounding, speed, and quickness attributes. I gotta see where the points are allotted… especially with Lebron. Lebron’s consistency and clutch MUST be lower than Kobe’s. If that’s the case, then I don’t care.
    BTW, if you’ve ever created a player in 2K, depending on the player’s position some ratings may not make a difference in the player’s overall number, while other attributes make a huge difference. Like a center’s passing rating and a PGs dunk rating don’t make big differences in the overall rating. Conversely, increasing a center’s dunk rating and a PG’s passing rating sends the overall rating through the roof. If it still holds true for 2K12, then Kobe’s post game is probably sick but because he’s a SG it doesn’t really effect his overall rating.

    Wade = 96…. <– I can see that.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    @Chi
    Did you play it on 360?? or are you waiting for the PS3 demo to drop?

  • http://www.geturweightup.com Chicagorilla

    @Jay

    Im on PS3. I hate Xbox. Had like 3 of’em die out on me in 6months lol.

    Lebron being rated better than Kobe doesnt even effect me because I will do like i did last year and double back and re-rate everyone in the game. Last year i had DWade as the highest rated player with Kobe being #2 and CP3 #3. Lebron has not done anything to change my mind on that. Especially with him choking in the finals like that.

    But like Jay said, the ratings dont mean nearly as much as the tendencies. I dont play online so the CPU is my main opponent and in my game Dirk is a monster while only being like an 85 overall. Melo is probably the best 2k player of all time lol. that SOB is unstoppable.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    Cosign Melo = best videogame baller ever. Lol.

    I’m more curious how Lebron/Kobe/Wade and the other current crop of players stack up to the legends’ ratings… especially Penny. He was a beast at everything, and played at a pace that looked very comfortable for him… which was faster than everyone else playing. The game was very natural for him. He better be rated in the mid-high 90s too. If not, like Chi said, I will fix my ratings too. Lebron is getting dumped down to 93ish once I get the game. Especially if he’s higher than primetime Penny.

    I just have this feeling LBJ will be higher than Magic. Lol.

  • Big Island

    JAY and Chicagorilla – I wish I played video games so I had something to talk about today. Um, I am drinking coffee. Reading what Beiber wanted to eat makes me want to crap my pants. That is an awful combo. Skittles? Grape soda and chinese food? A honey bun? Dear god man.

    My morning consists of drawing/bidding on a kitchen remodel down the street for a guy who has arms as big as my truck, and going to the gym. Do you know how bad I want to change player ratings?! Penny?!?! I want that!! Can you build your own teams and stuff? Fuck man, I need to get with video games. Sonic and Sega All Star Racing is as far as I go.

  • beiber newz

    how do you get the nba 2k12 demo on ps3 if the ps network is down?

  • beiber newz

    lol i just read those comments.
    jay, i’ll tone down the sexuality. but what man doesn’t think about sex around midnite? aren’t men’s brains programed in that instinctual manner? lol
    big island, i wouldn’t eat all of it at once. the soda with the chinese works. the honey bun would be eaten like half n hour later and the skittles can just be a filler for whenever. lol but as i look at it, ur right, bad combo.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    @Beib
    I didn’t say it was bad or strange, did I? Lol. I’m just making an observation. You weren’t so overtly perverted a month ago, so I noticed.
    It’s like if Bruce all of a sudden didn’t make any racist comments for a month… it would be different from what I’m used to so I’d say something.
    That said, don’t change brother. Not everyone can browse for those thing at work… you present them to us on a platter. And i have my lovely Android phone for the NSFW pics.

    LOL @ Big I
    Trust me, sometimes I wish I didn’t play games. The shit just eats up time. It’s good to play them to wind down for the night. But some weekends, when i feel like not doing anything, I’ll just pop in a game and kill 3-4 hours easy. Sometimes it’s not a good look… and my wife tells me every chance she gets. Lol

  • beiber newz

    @ jay OHH I miscontrued it then. The word perverted just has a negative connotation so I thought you were disgusted. But alrite cool, lol, i won’t change…i’ll do me. you had me dying tho with your android mention. lmao. u a funny dude.

  • Big Island

    JAY – I have a few buddies who play Call of Duty all of the time with little headsets and stuff. I make fun of them, but then I realize that I am the only one NOT playing that thing. I literally bought it so that I could say that I have it, but then gave it to a friend so her son could play. We used to get into these epic, there is no other word for them, epic games of Mario Kart after league games back in the day. We’d see 4am easy with that crap. If you were within 4 houses of the room we played in, you had a contact high. I don’t even smoke and I was high. Now I have one buddy who comes over, we bs about sports, then pop in the Sonic All Stars. We can kill 2 or 3 hours, when it should take about an hour, but because we suck so bad it takes 3. Whatever the highest number is, I would make Dirk that. Then make everyone else a 1. Then lose anyway. I suck. Really, really bad.

    Beib, nothing wrong with a little perversion. Just maybe stay away from talking about the asphyxiation, the furry costumes, the leather chaps, and for all that is holy, don’t mention being a bear.