Dime 1-on-1 NBA Tournament / Sep 13, 2011 / 1:00 pm

Dime’s Ultimate Movie Baller: Jesus Shuttlesworth vs. Scott Howard

Jesus Shuttlesworth

(4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game vs. (12) Scott Howard, Teen Wolf


The Wolf crosses over and jumps almost in the same instant, 360-ing through the air and then dunking even before Jesus can get his hand up. No one expected this. It’s 5-1, the Wolf, and Jesus is either scared, nervous, surprised or just plain disgusted with all of the greasy hair. The Wolf hasn’t shaved for a month they say, and he hasn’t bathed in twice that long. You can smell him from half court, drenched in sweat, slippery as a wet cat.

Jesus wore his old Lincoln uniform to this one for no real reason. But now he feels like it was a sign. He knows why it was sitting there on his bed this morning, all folded and cleaned and straight and shining. Someone wanted him to wear it today. It looks better than it did the first day he ever wore it, some three years ago. All of the wind sprints, the suicides, the Saturday midnights in the gym, they all should be stitched into that lining, the years stamped into the blue and white. But Jesus couldn’t see any of that. Someone had washed it clean. A new day.

It sure feels like a new day. With rain beating down on them, a basketball shower, Jesus had already fallen twice: once, when the Wolf put a move on him that left pretty much everyone inaudible. The other time was when Shuttlesworth went for a pull-up, but instead ended up on his backside on the ground, water splashing into his face.

The weather doesn’t frighten the Wolf though. He seems to have supernatural powers, something more than a gift from God. Something even more powerful.

Jesus is about to lose it all – his rep, his city, his game, his confidence – before he remembers…

Scott Howard

Rain used to make him happy. Back in the day, actually on this same exact court, the sight of clouds and thunder always got him excited. It meant no running, no suicides. His father would still make him play, but at least things would be easier.

“We can’t afford any injuries,” Jake used to tell him and he knew his father was right. A strained hamstring or a knee giving out wouldn’t get them anywhere. Jesus was just a kid, but he was already thinking ahead. He already had it mapped out, and the damage all this work was doing to his body couldn’t be accelerated with some stupid, rain-induced slippage.

Jesus is smiling, thinking back. The Wolf just looks at him, hands extended out calling for the ball. Just like that, Jesus gets a stop and then a score, hitting the same shot that wasn’t falling for him just moments earlier in the rain.

“You better D-up Scott…”

Tale of the Tape

Movie Character Bracket

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  • UncheckedAggression

    I only voted for Jesus because I prefer this contest to be fair. Superhumans (or whatever the hell you wanna call it) shouldn’t be in this.

  • Ian

    unchecked thats why i voted agains shaq

  • JBaller

    Teen wolf was the bomb in the 80s, but he gave up the wolf at the end and won the game as Scott Howard. I don’t think that would be the case if Scotty faced Jesus straight up, so I went with Jesus.

    What the hell am I talking about? I should have my head examined for even reading this article. Bring back the NBA!

  • bobby stew

    Teen Wolf played against terrible competition. Teen Wolf never played against a guy with NBA three point range

  • king

    WOW. i guess people dont know who moses guthrie is. How the hell did Dr. J lose to billy Hoe

  • JDish

    @ king

    I had to actually look up the name Moses Guthrie to find out what bball movie he’s from. I never ever imagined it was gonna be Dr. J acting and playing the part of a …what’do you know… fly basketball player. Was he also the dude with the towel on his head in that movie?
    Anyway, I also can’t believe Moses Guthrie (Dr. J) lost to Billy Hoyle.

  • JDish

    Oh and by the way Dime, I don’t how Scott Howard, the human wolf kid, got in this tournament; this should be Sydney Deane facing J. Shuttlesworth.