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NBA / Nov 15, 2011 / 11:00 am

Dime’s NBA Preseason Awards For The Season That Might Not Exist

Blake Griffin

Blake Griffin (photo. Rob Hammer)

One of things we all around the Dime office miss most about this time of year is the hype. It draws attention, gets people talking and gets people watching. It especially sucks this time because just a year ago, we were consumed by hype. Last season, everyone assumed Kevin Durant would run away with the MVP. He didn’t. Many assumed the Heat would win close to 70 games (or perhaps more). They didn’t. There were only a handful of fans who thought Blake Griffin would do the things he did – terrorize NBA rims across the country and takeover Sportscenter himself. He actually did. Since the owners are running out on the tab, and the players are left bickering amongst themselves over whether to give 15 percent or 20 percent, we now have no hype.

There might not be a season at all, but I can still put together my own preseason award list. This is basically my F U to the NBA and the whole lockout ordeal. I’m sure fans around the world can appreciate that.

***

Sportscenter MVP: Blake Griffin (could there be anybody else?)
Fantasy MVP: Kevin Durant (the cornerstone of my fantasy keeper league for the next 10 years)
Bench MVP: Jason Terry (I’m depending on him – and Dirk/J-Kidd – to keep Dallas away from a title hangover)
MVP Of The League’s Worst Starters: Keith Bogans (is there a better worse player?)
Rook Of The Year: Kyrie Irving (If Cleveland could win even 25, he’d get an A+)
Best OG Comeback: Kobe Bryant (you really think he’d tap out meekly?)
The People’s Champion: The Clippers (They’d be the 2010 Thunder of this year…everyone would be ready to crown them already)
The Sleeper: Milwaukee (They can be pretty decent right?)
Most Explosive Ingredient: Dwight Howard (he’d either be the MVP or get pissed off when SVG trots out a late-game lineup of Superman, Arenas, Anderson, Bass and Redick)
Biggest X-Factor: James Harden‘s beard or Ginobili‘s bald spot (they have special powers)
Best Crunch-Time Scorer: Carmelo Anthony (but if the Knicks didn’t get out of the first round, would this be the year someone finally realizes that outside of 2009, ‘Melo is 6-28 in the playoffs?)
Coach of the Year: Tyrone Corbin (I don’t really believe this, but it would be so ironic that I kinda want to see it happen)
Best Wing Stopper: Tony Allen (should also get an award for “most interesting career arc ever”)
The Next Kris Humphries: The Machine (and I don’t even like Sharapova)
Big Man With The Most Old-School Moves: Al Jefferson (This award should be named after him.)
The Dwight Howard Award: If we have to pick someone different…LeBron (Some also call this the “Defensive Player of The Year Award”)
The Brian Scalabrine Award: There’s only one Scalabrine (and he’s in Italy)

What are your preseason awards for the season that might not exist?

Follow Sean on Twitter at @SEANesweeney.

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  • Yoo

    Most pointless article ever…nba…please come back…u can haz all my moneyz juts so I dont gotta keep reading this gahbage

  • Baloogawhales

    I don’t think the Milwaukee should have a basketball team….

  • Dave

    League’s worst starters vs League’s best bench players.. who wins?

  • cesar

    /\ best bench players

  • stillanetsfan

    i don’t know bonner may be able to take the scal award except he actually gets minutes… who knows maybe the custodian will win it