Smack / Nov 17, 2011 / 1:50 am

Pittsburgh Gets Thumped In An Upset; The Story Behind Karl Malone & His Psychic Powers

Ashton Gibbs

Ashton Gibbs (photo. University of Pittsburgh Athletics)

We’ve been waiting on an upset. Naturally this early in the season, you don’t expect it. Everyone is playing cupcakes, and conference schedules haven’t started yet. But where are the close games? Outside of a few, the majority so far have been snoozers. But last night, Pittsburgh got beat up from start to finish, in their own home… by freakin’ Long Beach State, 86-76. Miraculously, this was just the second time any non-Big East team had ever won in that building, and the 49ers didn’t just win. They dominated from the tip. Pitt was never closer than six throughout the whole second half despite some good games from Ashton Gibbs (20 points) and Nasir Robinson (19 points). Pitt did what they could to stay close, but check out the box score. Those Long Beach St. shooting percentages are video game-like. Casper Ware wasn’t a ghost either, dropping 28 on the No. 9-ranked Panthers. More than likely this is nothing more than a one-time thing for Pitt. They’ll get it together, probably have another great regular season run before getting upset in the NCAAs … The only other college games that actually mattered yesterday resulted in blowout wins for Wisconsin – by 27 over the powerhouse known as Colgate – and Florida State – a 13-point win over Stetson … Yesterday’s Smack was probably the first time since before Dwight Howard started planking and posting weird pictures on his Twitter that we didn’t really mention the lockout. That’s because we’re all in limbo right now. With the players filing antitrust suits in both Minnesota and California, no one is winning anytime soon. Between the players’ lawsuit – which Howard Beck reports has no hearing date set as the case is being reassigned from a magistrate judge to a district one at the request of the NBPA – and Cuttino Mobley‘s medical lawsuit aimed at the Knicks, we have enough legal fill to keep us content for a while. David Stern has set up a conference call for today to discuss with the owners what steps they should take next. But the owners are in no rush. Yahoo! Sports reports they thought Stern went too far with the last offer and were hoping the players rejected it so they could take an even harder stance … Not everyone on the players’ side is happy about this situation, especially the young guys. Samardo Samuels says he would’ve taken the deal, and that it’s easy for vets to say they wanna fight but what about the young guys who don’t have much? Terrence Williams recently tweeted, talking about decertification: Someone tell billy hunter we should of done this s— in July wtf. … On the next page: Baron Davis has a new movie and Karl Malone’s Psychic Powers

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  • beiber newz

    i was hoping the article provided an example of what karl malone seen in the future.

  • chancepassenger

    No wonder Malone’s such a choker… he already knows he’s gonna lose…

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Er5TsQrGg alf (from melmak)

    Now I know the reason why Karl Malone takes too long at the free throw line. The basketball was Malone’s crystal ball and he was asking it if he was going to make the shot or not.

    At the same time, he was also placing some magic spell on the ball during his free throws so that whoever touches it next would commit an error on the next possession.

    They should just ask Kim Kardashian tips for a great shagging in bed and what is her favorite position.

  • Ape

    Funny how T-Mac keeps attending charity games and yet is a lock to miss 60% of his regular NBA season.

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    I kinda feel bad for the DIME writers… if there’s a dry-spell now for basketball related topics to write about, wait until the end of March after the tourney.

  • sh!tfaced

    So Karl Malone knew he wasn’t going to win any rings…

    and just let John Stockton go down with him…?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Er5TsQrGg alf (from melmak)

    Totally agree Jay.

    But then again, they always say in the industry that you are not a good journalist if you cannot find at least two new stories to write in your assigned beat daily.

  • sh!tfaced

    lol… it’ll be damn hard to talk/write/eat/shit basketball when there’s no basketball going on

  • TJ 2

    So MLB had labor negotiations, they will last about two days, just a couple things to discuss and back to business…..ive been telling people for the longest if people cared about basketball like baseball (or football) lockout wouldve been over in July!

  • http://ufl.edu Big Freeze

    “Of course, Kevin Durant is gonna be there. That’s a given, like asking if a Vince Vaughn movie will be funny.”

    I guess you never saw The Dilemma, Couple’s Retreat, Four Christmases, and Fred Claus.

  • beiber newz

    this lloyd banks has been on repeat for a while new hot ishh..not that new though. G-G-G-G-G…G-UNIT!!!


  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    “they always say in the industry that you are not a good journalist if you cannot find at least two new stories to write in your assigned beat daily.”

    ^ When in doubt, soft p0rn. If they don’t do it, beiber will.

  • jdizzle

    I have absolutely NO idea who Sean Banks was or is

    Marriage tips from Kim Kardashian is like getting drug counseling from Whitney Houston

  • Big Island

    Casper wasn’t a ghost. I see what you did there…

    So let me get this straight. Baron Davis, the guy in this picture,


    taken during negotiations for the future of the NBA and the money generated by the NBA, has a documentary about how people dress lazily? HE WORE JEANS, A FLANNEL SHIRT AND A FUCKING BEANIE TO A BILLION DOLLAR NEGOTIATION!!!!!!!!! I am 100% on the “giving this one two thumbs down” bandwagon. Blaine and Toine style with snaps and twists.

    Big Freeze – Hey! Four Christmases wasn’t that bad!

  • Cha-Ching

    Yall sleep on Long Beach State, wow. I have enjoyed college basketball so far, plus it will get even better. I don’t even keep up with the NBA right now. F’em for now. No need for DIME to make daily comments about them. All about college ball right now. Has anybody noticed that college teams have long wing-span high jumping dudes now. No more tall, big back to the basket centers.

  • Big Island

    Kim Kardashian marriage tips.
    Whitney Houston sobriety lectures.
    Baron Davis fashion movies.
    Big Island fitness plan.
    BRUCE racial relations advice.
    Sporty J and how to properly handle your team losing.

    These are all very bad ideas. Add “giving Big Island access to a computer that isn’t password protected so he can type crap at any given time on a basketball website” and “Beiber News tells you how to safely label a picture NSFW on that same website” to the list as well.

  • Yoo

    Shit…I don’t even really feel bad for banks..he’s from jersey he used to play for bergen catholic b4 goin to memphis..I played against him a couple times in street games but everytime our schools were gunna play he’d get into some shit and he’d b suspended..and it was always on some gang related shit…

    He went to memphis and I think draftexpress had him as a top 20 pick after his sophmore yr but once again he couldn’t pass enough classes and got his scholarship revoked…some people jus never learn

  • http://www.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/88funny-pictures128.jpg JAY

    Big I… that’s some witty shit. Lol

  • http://www.psychodrama.com Chicagorilla

    Samardo Samuels and Terrance Williams should both stfu.

    Of course Samuels would’ve taken the deal, he’s a lazy bum who refuses to put in work and probably won’t be in the NBA next year anyway. Funny that he even has a voice.

    As for T-Will. I love the guys talent, but he’s already proven that he isn’t the smartest thinking guy. The last thing the players need is guys like this voicing their opinions. Because with out the internet nobody would even be talking to these two.

    As for Baron Davis…he really needs to just go away. Not only did he ruin what should have been a HOF career by being the Shaq of PGs (lazy and overweight but still good), but he also dresses like a complete idiot. now he wants to encourage men to do the same. Men aren’t supposed to be worried about their clothes. Jeans, sweats, and a t-shirt is all we should be wearing. All this metro-sexual $h!t is getting out of hand.

  • http://www.psychodrama.com Chicagorilla


    You guys should keep and eye on Quincy Miller down at Baylor. I watched the last game they played on ESPN the other day. That kid is long, athletic and versatile. He also has a ton of moves for someone who is 6’9. His 17ft and in game is off the chain. Honestly he is the best player i’ve seen so far this college season. And the best part about him is he seems like he’s out to prove something. the only thing holding him back is Baylor failed to recruit an actual PG. It was sad watching them trying to pass the ball yesterday.

    Basically Q. Miller is everything that people claim Terrance Jones (@UK) is. I would love to see a UK vs Baylor game.

  • Baloogawhales

    Good looking out gonna check out the next Baylor game to see him play

  • Sean Sweeney

    Big Island’s comments are always good for a laugh.

    Yeah I like Quincy Miller’s game, but I am surprised he started doing this so early. Baylor has basically already sealed their fate of an exciting team that inevitably gets upset in March because the guard play is so weak.

  • http://www.dimemag.com Austin Burton

    The Sean Banks case reminds me of the player from Seton Hall who got arrested a while back for armed robbery. Dude was like 6-9. There are a lot of things you can do when you’re tall that other people can’t do, but there are also some things you shouldn’t do. Like crimes to which there may be witnesses.

  • That’s What’s Up

    AB – good to see you back.
    BI – nice junior smack, as always.
    DIME – way to hang in there with great content considering your lifeblood is locked out and quickly becoming ostracized by a LOT of nba fans

  • First & Foremost

    If you are 6’7+ how do cops even find enough suspect-looking people your height to have a full line-up? You’d just look guilty, especially if you are the only one wearing some Sasha Vujacic jeans, standing in a hole, with scratch marks all in your faded Charles Oakley leather vest.

    Not a good look

  • UncheckedAggression

    Trying to remember the guy’s name but I think it was in the 80s an ex-Pistons center (who I think was at least 6’10”) was in a bad place and ended up robbing some store where lots of people knew him. Maybe it was Reggie Harding? When the person working the register said, “Reggie, is that you?” He responded, “Nah, it ain’t me!”

  • UncheckedAggression

    Kinda like the dude in White Men Can’t Jump

  • http://www.psychodrama.com Chicagorilla


    That dude in White men Can’t Jump is Marcus Johnson….former UCLA Bruin legend who also had a really good career in the NBA until his knees went out. That had to be one of the funniest parts of the movie.