10 NBA Players Who Would Make The Best Bodyguards

5. Amar’e Stoudemire
Stoudemire was already one of the most physically intimidating players in the league and that was before he added 15 pounds of muscle. At 6-11, 260 pounds, Stoudemire is not known for imposing his will on the boards or in the paint, but plays an extremely aggressive style at power forward. He is known around the league as a gym rat and is obsessed with working on his already wide frame.
4. Metta World Peace
Metta’s first twelve NBA seasons have been filled with everything but World Peace. It’s sad that most casual fans will only remember him for the “Malice at the Palace,” but his rugged attitude is what gives him the psychological edge on his opponents. He’s always been one of the league’s toughest players and top defenders and you wouldn’t want to go to battle with very many other people.
3. Andrew Bynum
Not only is Andrew Bynum one of the biggest players in the league, but he’s also garnering the reputation as one of the dirtiest. Just pretend J.J. Barea was the gunman approaching Lou Williams. This is an example of what Bynum could have done if hired to be his bodyguard.
2. Dwight Howard
Dwight Howard was drafted as a physical freak at the age of 19. Now with almost eight years to improve his body, he has settled in at 6-11, 275 pounds. He doesn’t have the most aggressive personality – in fact some people think his laid back, always joking attitude will keep him from winning championships – but his size would be enough to thwart any enemies.
1. DeMarcus Cousins
Sometimes it’s better to be crazy than a good fighter. Cousins has both the size at 6-11, 270 pounds, and intensity to be one of the most intimidating players. His attitude needs an adjustment in the basketball world, but if you need somebody on your side of the ring, who better than Cousins? If you need a little help, here’s an example of what you’d be getting.
Which NBA players would make the best bodyguards?
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January 13th, 2012 at 4:24 pm
superfreak6 says:
we all know the best bodyguard in the NBA is……. “The White Mamba,” Brian Scalabrine.
January 13th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Shot In Ya Face says:
Ron Artest is a softy now thanks to his psychologist so I’d cross him off the list and replace him with Kendrick Perkins.
Even though he lost 30 lbs, his scowl etched permanently on his face is scary enough to peel paint. My roommate and I voted him “the dude we’d most be afraid of meeting in a dark alley”.
Also, where is Gilbert Arenas and Delonte West?
Both dudes aren’t built like bodyguards, but who needs muscle when you got loaded guns.
January 13th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
wcs says:
N. Pekovic for the wolves. Survives off of pain and murder
January 13th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Kevin says:
Dwight Howard? Yeah, right! He’s the softest, smiling, joking, bubbly guy around. Dude will never get amped.
Give me Brendan Haywood or Stephen Jackson. Or Marcus Camby or DeJuan Blair.
I want someone who would go to war with me!
January 13th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Isaac says:
REGGIE EVANS…. ‘Nuff said.
January 13th, 2012 at 4:46 pm
asdf says:
kurt thomas?!
January 13th, 2012 at 5:06 pm
igetmoney01 says:
i think lebron or dwight would be the best
January 13th, 2012 at 5:19 pm
LMNOP says:
Marcin Gortat, 7 foot tall, eastern european and the son of a professional boxer.
Ivan Johnson, gotta be a reason he’s been kicked out of most leagues he’s bin in.
Eddy Curry, its gonna take a week just to go around him
Hamed Haddadi, he’s iranian, probably listens to gunfire when he gets homesick.
Kobe, id tell him Jordan was the best body guard ever, Kobe would get every bone in his body broken to try and be better.
Ben Wallace, unlike ron who is just unhinged, ben looks like a hard bastard.
January 13th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Antouan says:
No love for Big Baby??? Who would mess with that guy?
January 13th, 2012 at 5:35 pm
webbdog says:
Ben Wallace and Byron Houston
January 13th, 2012 at 5:41 pm
zaboo says:
Steve Francis wasn’t impressed with Amare when he gave him a couple forearms to the neck for messing with Yao back in the day…
I’d go with Delonte West. Not only is he batshit crazy I can see him blending in with the crowd and sneaking up on someone and doing his business.
January 13th, 2012 at 5:49 pm
stefan says:
someone said it already. ben wallace. how can you leave him outside a top ten?
January 13th, 2012 at 5:56 pm
north says:
@stefan because until they edited the article they had in there than Ben Wallace had retired. They edited the post and then deleted the comments stating they were wrong.
January 13th, 2012 at 6:26 pm
imungloloupaw says:
You guys really picked Amare over Reggie Evans? Common now.
January 13th, 2012 at 6:35 pm
jackass says:
steph curry, enough said
January 13th, 2012 at 6:50 pm
control says:
LMNOP
Hahaha, all those are hilarious.
Antouan
That has to be sarcasm right? The fat idiot broke his hand throwing a punch…and cries randomly for fun. If he were a bodyguard, every time you tried to go to dinner, he’d eat the restaurant out of business before you could get a bite.
January 13th, 2012 at 6:51 pm
matt says:
I’ll pick someone from my team and city (Toronto) – James Johnson. He is Mr.MMA, his whole family (his dad and siblings) all are championship MMA fighters. Dude lost some weight, i believe 10-20 pounds this summer to be leaner, meaner and to deal with SFs. He can kick an nba regulation size rim.
January 13th, 2012 at 7:09 pm
ROBL35 says:
Well ya know Critteteten & Arenas already carrying whistles just in case ya get stuck up & KD35 be the best shooter >_< and I def agree with Eddie Curry being mad to hide behind coz no one ever get around that cheese burger eating mofo
January 13th, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Yves says:
Mbenga people! Mbenga!!!!
January 13th, 2012 at 8:01 pm
SayItAintSo says:
Now Kenyon Martin is REALLY pissed that he isn’t playing in the NBA. He’d totally have made this list.
January 13th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
pogi says:
udoka!
January 13th, 2012 at 8:55 pm
netstar says:
no kris humphries???
are you kidding me? he is an adonis
January 14th, 2012 at 12:05 am
Chaos says:
Ivan johnson, s-jax, kendrick perkins, ronny turiaf, udoka (good pick porgi), ben wallace, kurt ‘krazy’ thomas, and reggie evans
January 14th, 2012 at 5:31 am
Brokejumper says:
My All Time Bodyguard NBA team:
Bodyguards I would employ to intimidate the opposition:
Tyrone Hill, Sam Cassell, Popeye Jones, Chris Kaman, Donyell Marshall, Chris Anderson
Bodyguards I would employ to provide human cover in case of gun-fight:
Khalid El-Amin, Glen Davis, Oliver Miller, Brian Scalabrine, Boris Diaw, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry
Bodyguards I would employ to always be within a 5 ft radius from me at all times, with Fisher being my “Kevin Costner” lol.
Ben Wallace, Joey Graham, Derrick Fisher, Corey Maggette, Reggie Evans, Derek Strong, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Martial Arts Skills)
And Finally the armed bodyguards, always armed and ready for a gun fight:
Andrei Kirilenko, Delonte West, Hammed Hadidi, Gilbert Arenas, Javaris Crittenton
January 14th, 2012 at 5:47 am
Brokejumper says:
My All Time Bodyguard NBA team:
Bodyguards I would employ to intimidate the opposition:
Tyrone Hill, Sam Cassell, Popeye Jones, Chris Kaman, Donyell Marshall, Chris Anderson
Bodyguards I would employ to provide human cover in case of gun-fight:
Khalid El-Amin, Glen Davis, Oliver Miller, Brian Scalabrine, Boris Diaw, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry
Bodyguards I would employ to always be within a 5 ft radius from me at all times with Fisher.
Ben Wallace, Joey Graham, Derrick Fisher, Corey Maggette, Reggie Evans, Derek Strong,
And Finally the armed bodyguards, always armed and ready for a gun fight:
Andrei Kirilenko, Delonte West, Hammed Hadidi, Gilbert Arenas, Javaris Crittenton
January 14th, 2012 at 6:30 am
cesar says:
no perkins and dejuan blair???
January 14th, 2012 at 7:20 am
Jade says:
Only two guys showing some love to Reggie Evans :S WTF !!!
Reggie Evans 2012!
January 14th, 2012 at 10:12 am
southak says:
No Kendrick Perkins? I know he lost some what but that dude looks like he’s gonna kill someone even when he gets a good call.
January 14th, 2012 at 10:17 am
L says:
Two words… UDONIS HASLEM!!
January 14th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Soldier says:
Karl Malone. Built like a brick house, not afraid to use his strength (ask David Robinson), and packs more guns than the secret service.
January 14th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
beiber newz says:
demarcus cousins = suge knight.
give dude some shades and an all black outfit, no one messing with you.
January 14th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
JD says:
Why don’t I see Nene’s name being mentioned??
January 14th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
goattree says:
Joey Graham is still in the league? Where does he play?
Reggie Evans is a good call.
January 15th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
yoda says:
dj mbenga. big, survived lot of stuff in his life and he’s black belt in judo. i’ll take that over amar’e every day.
all time bodyguard list should have oakley and mason.
January 15th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
@las1ckas says:
what about KMART?! he would bully enough ppl!
January 15th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
flyingpuck says:
Back in the day it would have been Maurice Lucas, hands down, best bodyguard!
January 15th, 2012 at 9:04 pm
soleinthefrijol says:
GERALD WALLACE!!!!….deepest voice in the NBA too haha
January 15th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
Earl says:
They will all be bodygaurds if they did not have the talent of playing basketball. They’re just dumb guys over paid to dribble a ball and put it through the net. They will all be broke in a few years after they retire, if they do not know how to apply their minds into something else besides basketball.
January 15th, 2012 at 9:43 pm
Andrew Macaluso says:
Come on, no Kenyon Martin? He is the ONLY dude to punch Corey Maggette in the face, by the way.
January 15th, 2012 at 10:13 pm
George Kanteis says:
What? Am I the only person who thinks that Kevin Garnett is one of the scariest players in the league?
January 16th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
wishuwould247 says:
UDONIS HASLEM has to be on this list. Dwade, Lebron, and Bosh took millions less to retain this dude. How can Lebron be on the list when the dude he pays to watch his back is not??