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Smack / Apr 28, 2012 / 12:00 am

The NBA Playoffs Are Back

Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant

We know about Kobe. We know about LeBron. And we know about Kevin Durant. We know the championship will probably come down to one or two games, and one or two players. But in every series, they’ll be twists and turns. A Game 3 will slide on a bench player scoring 12 points in a half. Some lower seed with get a split on the road because one of their big men made 90 percent of his free throws. Some ref might throw a game. Anything could happen. So we had 10 of our writers give their predictions in an effort to pretend to be smart … We’ve heard everyone, from media analysts to Baron Davis, declaring the Knicks as this year’s version of the 2007 Golden State Warriors. Ummm, no. There are a few key differences. New York’s best offensive players right now might just be a guy who doesn’t like to pass, and hogs the ball like someone is trying to take it away and never give it back. The second best might just be a guy who comes off the bench because even though he’s incredibly talented, he’s such a lunatic that he could take a 30-foot three with 19 seconds on the shot clock with a playoff game on the line… and no one would blink an eye. The Knicks also don’t have a great matchup. They don’t have a signature style they can hang their hat on. And most importantly, they’re playing Miami rather than a Dallas team that at the time had Dirk Nowitzki, and a number of players who were VASTLY overrated (Plus, DeSagana Diop actually got minutes on that team remember?). LeBron and D-Wade will string up New York fans and spit them back out. New York’s only shot is if Carmelo turns into the T-Rex from The Lost World and starts causing world-changing havoc … Nine of our 10 writers picked Miami. We’ll keep the name of the one New York Knick fan under wraps for fear of embarrassment … As for this season’s Dallas team, their championship hangover lasted too long. We never thought we’d see the day when a team would miss DeShawn Stevenson. You always need at least 1.5 crazy guys to win a title. Abe Lincoln counts as two. Sure they got Delonte West, but they also picked up Vince Carter, who just completely cancels out West’s crazy meter. VC is also sort of bad luck, like a mirror that breaks over and over again. For that, we don’t see the Mavs beating OKC. Well, one of us does. Pretty much everyone else is taking the Thunder in six games … There’s a lot to like about Denver. They have a really cool strength coach. They’re healthy and don’t have anyone serving a suspension for losing his mind (the Lakers). They also have the perfect antidote for Los Angeles’ problem (still) of keeping up with quick point guards. Our predictions are all over for this one, going from a Laker sweep to a Nugget upset. The consensus though is Hollywood in six games despite the fact that we all want to see Birdman and JaVale McGee together in the playoffs for as long as possible, even if Chris Andersen hasn’t been a factor at all this whole year and really might not even be alive … Keep reading to hear about the one series that has NO CHANCE at an upset …

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