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Smack / May 15, 2012 / 12:24 am

Russell Westbrook Lays Waste To Kobe, The Lakers; Sixers & Celtics Give A New Definition For ‘Ugly’

Kevin Durant & Russell Westbrook

Kevin Durant & Russell Westbrook (photo. Rob Hammer)

The Lakers were pretty much done by the opening minutes of the third quarter, and by the end of the third frame, OKC had disposed of the bodies in a covered ditch. A 15-2 run spanning the end of the second quarter to the start of the second half, which was punctuated by a Russell Westbrook lob and then a pull-up transition triple from Kevin Durant, put the home team up by 22 and it only got worse from there. In Game 1 of perhaps the most hyped series of the playoffs so far, the Thunder strangled L.A., 119-90. In a way it was shocking. But then again, it wasn’t, even if Metta World Peace was shocked enough to leave center stage with nearly an entire quarter to go and head back to the locker room. We had a feeling this would happen, the worst massacre since Cappadonna on “Winter Warz,” especially with the weary Lakers – who constantly get blown out on the road – coming into a crazed environment. The Artist Formerly Known As World Peace came out and immediately hit his first three, then dished to Andrew Bynum (20 points, 14 rebounds) for a dunk, and then not more than a minute later he hit another long shot. That was just as unsurprising as seeing JaVale McGee tweet out a picture of himself holding two baby platypuses. We knew he’d come out like the crazy lunatic he is, and we also figured he couldn’t keep it up … As for OKC, Durant scored 25 in 28 minutes while Westbrook was a stud, and probably burned 600 calories in celebrating alone. He lit up Kobe with 27 points and nine dimes, and had Bryant (20 points) on the bench late in the second half contemplating his next trip to Germany. As for the Beard, it seemed like every time James Harden (17 points) did something even remotely good during the first quarter – come into the game, hit a layup, knock a ball off Kobe – the all-country OKC crowd went off as if someone just told them CBS is about to run 24 hours of “Everybody Loves Raymond” re-runs … Does anyone know where we can locate Ramon Sessions (two points)? Laker fans must be so happy their team traded for Sessions so that Bryant could wear out his brittle knees chasing around a 23-year-old All-Star point guard for 40 minutes a game in the playoffs. Wait … There was also Pau Gasol (a meaningless 10 points and seven rebounds) going through another sex change to become a woman for 48 minutes again. Okay, that’s a little extreme, but seriously, how can you trust a cat who brings it every third game in the playoffs? They desperately needed him, especially with the Thunder pitching what was pretty much a perfect game. They had big nights from their three stars, combining for 69 points even though none of them even played 30 minutes. They had four turnovers for the entire game while shooting 53 percent. And they turned the Laker bench into mush … By the way, did you catch our list of the 10 best LeBron James/Dwyane Wade alley-oops we’ve seen in the past two years? You probably need to watch these … Keep reading to hear about the ugliest game of the playoffs …

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