3. Karl Malone – “The Mailman”
You know, because he always delivers. Too bad he didn’t, ever. MJ stole the ball from him before that famous Byron Russell crossover. Just Google “Karl Malone choke artist” and watch your computer explode.
At least Malone’s nickname required some ounce of thought, so there’s that. But it’s completely inaccurate, which is unfortunate, if only because it would have been nice if Malone delivered at least once for a Utah squad that probably had one of the greatest non-dynasty teams to never win a title. He has to be in the top five most hated upon greatest players ever at this point – and, in a convoluted sense, playing with John Stockton probably only hurt his career reputation. Maybe he wouldn’t have been as statistically dominant, or even made an NBA Finals, but people would have actually, you know, liked him.