Shaquille O’Neal’s 10 Best Quotes

Shaquille O’Neal is no stranger to being considered one of the game’s most powerful inside player ever.

Once you get past the 7-1, 320-pound frame that screams power, however, it became pretty easy to see early in his career he was light on his feet — on and off the court. Today is the big man’s 41st birthday. Here are some of his best quotes — proving he’s as deft with a microphone as he is on the low block.

*** *** ***

*Be careful what you ask, because SHAQ will loop you into the answer if it’s a bad enough question.

*You thought SHAQ was going to retire — until he led off his press conference with a dig at the Knicks’ haywire GM job. At 1:35, he calls himself the Phil Jackson of little league basketball.

*Speaking of Phil Jackson, SHAQ‘s take on the legendary Triangle Offense: “Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer.”

*Here among another list of SHAQ‘s top quotes is this gem on his alma mater, LSU, at 1:22: “LSU stands for Love Shaq University … can you dig it?”

*SHAQ on the good things in life: “Me having a beautiful wife and great family and friends around me, all the money I’ve got, all the things that I’ve got, a Ferrari that I just ripped the top off of and turned into a convertible, the rings I got, the two mansions on the water, a master’s in criminal justice, I’m a cop, plus I look good. So me shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God’s way of saying that nobody’s perfect. If I shot 90 percent from the line, it just wouldn’t be right.”

*SHAQ on coining another nickname: “The Big IPO. Put your money on me. Because when I go public, we all gonna make money.”

*It’s not a quote so much as it is a performance, but SHAQ as a Laker takes on Vlade Divac‘s proclamation the Kings would win.

*Check out this exchange between Cedric The Entertainer and SHAQ.

Cedric The Entertainer: If you were an AND 1 player, what nickname would you have?
Shaquille O’Neal: Lemme see… what would it be? Probably, uh…Diesel. Either Diesel or… you know, I don’t know.
CTE: Come on, man. You’re famous for your nicknames. I thought you’d come up with something better than that.
SO: All right. How ’bout O’nealiony Montana?
CTE: O’Nealiony Montana?
SO: Yeah, because I’m the biggest thing to hit Miami since Tony Montana.

*During his introductory press conference in Miami, SHAQ‘s take on joining the Heat: “This is another classic Shaquille O’Neal quote. I’m like toilet paper, tooth paste and certain other amenities. I’m proven to be good.”

*And after telling Laker fans “it takes two to make a thing go right” at the Lakers’ title rally, SHAQ starts rapping (followed by the classic Mark Madsen dance). Can you dig it?

What’s your favorite Shaq quote?

Follow Andrew on Twitter at @AndrewGreif.

Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.

Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.

×