ESPN announced their new body issue today, and the “Manimal” Kenneth Faried will grace this year’s iteration sans clothes. Since NBA players have been prominently featured in ESPN the Magazine Body Issue’s in year’s past, we thought we’d rank the top NBA appearances draped in nothing but their birthday suits. What we found may surprise you: it’s cursed.
First, let’s qualify this by saying we’re only going as far back as 2009. That’s the year Dwight Howard, yes—that Dwight—was on the cover. We’re pretty sure the entire city of Los Angeles would boycott the issue if that were the case this year. Dwight’s hijinks since the 2009 season earns him the bottom spot on our list.
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5. Dwight Howard
We’re not saying that Dwight’s torso isn’t chiseled from granite procured from the fountains of Hippocrene, but we’re also not saying that he wasn’t one-upped in the years since he made his appearance in 2009. Plus, the whole Orlando Magic hostage situation last summer and this year’s free agency run-around, doesn’t engender a lot of fan sympathy for Dwight these days. Could this be a curse?