Matt Bonner is a three-time high school basketball state champion and the greatest baskeball player in New Hampshire history. He’s also starred in the most exceptional baby carrot commercial ever filmed.
There is so much to love about this ad. First off, it’s got the Red Mamba in sunglasses pitching a snack bag of carrots. The greatest Ginger basketball player since Brian Scalabrine is pitching carrots!? Genius! Hand the brainchild behind this commercial a freakin’ CLIO. Then we have the two guys dancing to either side of Bonner.
One is wearing a karate ensemble with a black belt. A bowler hat rests on his head with sunglasses on his face, but his dancing contrasts with the ensemble: it’s excellent. The other co-star is rocking a flannel buttoned only at the top, sunglasses, converse kicks and a trucker hat with the carrot company’s logo; he can’t really dance.
Shakedowns™! is now Bonner’s unofficial nickname.
Bonner doesn’t dance as much as his esteemed colleagues in the commercial, but he doesn’t have to. He plucks the baby carrots from the bag, and plops them into his mouth while his cohorts gyrate. Then he smiles and the rubs his belly. It’s a performance deserving of an Oscar but probably relegated to a Golden Globe because of those creatively bereft
Cliff Chris Paul insurance commercials and Blake Griffin Kia spots.
Bonner’s performance during this Shakedowns™ commercial should be immortalized in a bronzed
carrot statue overlooking the Memorial Arch of Tilton.
Is there anything Matt Bonner can’t do?
Follow Spencer on Twitter at @countcenci.
Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.
Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.