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I know I owe you a DimeBag, so withdraw the attack dogs and shelve your scathing words of antagonism. It’s here. Enjoy the next 10 minutes of ignoring your school/work responsibilities and join in on the pointless ramblings of usually un-resolvable and socially obscure quandaries. Read More »

“Ohhhh Jesus I love you!”

“I love you!”

“Jesus, I need some money…”

No matter where he went on Coney Island, they came around. People always wanted something. Even in his moment to relax, trophy and check in hand, the sweat running off his fingers and dampening the paper, they mixed in with the crowd. Everywhere he looked, he could point them out: always reaching out trying to touch him… always with a fake look of despair on their faces. Read More »

(4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game vs. (15) Billy Hoyle, White Men Can’t Jump

THE RULES

“Is your son Jesus Shuttlesworth?”

“That’s right…”

“Is your son considered the No. 1 college prospect in these United States of America?”

He couldn’t read the man’s face. It was too dark for that, the moon blocked out by buildings. 3:31 a.m. A mild night, with a slight breeze hitting his back, and yet he felt nothing mild about this pitch. He wasn’t sure why this man had cornered him, didn’t know at all what he wanted and yet here they were talking. Read More »

(6) Butch McRae, Blue Chips vs. (15) Billy Hoyle, White Men Can’t Jump

THE RULES

“Dirty looks. That’s all I get,” Billy Hoyle messed with his hat. “Dirty. Dirty. All over.” The crowd was gathered around and were passing him stares that could cut right through his sternum. Hoyle moved his head from side to side, searching for one friendly face. Anyone. All he got back was the same thing: squinting eyes, closed lips and jagged brows. Read More »

If we didn’t know any better, off this summer alone, our top five NBA players might read something like this: Kevin Durant…Brandon Jennings…LeBron James…freakin’ Josh Selby…and John Wall. Washington’s finest has been destroying everyone from the blacktop to the gym. As “The Lockout League” has finally taken shape, he’s not doing anything to force us to back off some of the prodigious claims we’ve made about him. He’s going to be a beast, and some of us even think he could eventually be the best point guard in the world. Read More »

(10) Kyle Lee Watson, Above The Rim vs. (15) Billy Hoyle, White Men Can’t Jump

THE RULES

Everything had been fine until this guy showed up. Kyle Lee Watson thought he might with this tournament being back home and all. Georgetown had been great to him his freshman year, whether he played great or not, but still there were people back home who wanted to see him fail. They wanted to see him lose. Haters gonna hate. Always. Read More »

Would you take Allen Iverson? We think most fans would speak up in favor of bringing the future Hall of Famer back into the NBA. But how many GMs would? If you go by their recent actions, not too many, and every year he’s gone from the game, the more likely it is that we’ve seen the last of him in an NBA uniform. The Answer still wants to fight his way back in, and it’s being reported that’s exactly what he’s doing in reaching out to some of the game’s best trainers and working his way back. He might make an appearance in the Impact Vegas League. We wish AI would get another shot – he did grace our first ever issue of Dime and still holds a special place for us – but the chances are about as good as us seeing basketball on opening night … Read More »

(2) Moses Guthrie, The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh vs. (15) Billy Hoyle, White Men Can’t Jump

THE RULES

For some reason, the scent of salt is identifiable even though we aren’t near the ocean. The court is full with everyone crowded around one basket.

“Ah, f— you, your mother’s an astronaut,” Moses Guthrie spits out. Yes, Moses said that, the man too cool for his own good, the player who’s never once lost his head in an ABA game. Is it happening here? Is he getting played by a 5-9 dude with a goofy smile, some grey baggy socks, a parental advisory shirt and one of the dirtiest hats on you’ve ever seen? Read More »

The line stretches almost around the block. There’s a girl, black hair pulled back in a pony tail, with a Spalding basketball nestled between her arm and torso. A man with an afro squints forward, his eyes panning through the line ahead of him before reaching down with a finger to clean a sliver of dirt off his Jordans and adjusting a device on his ankle. Towards the back, a man dressed in rags is telling anyone that’ll listen that he could once grab a quarter off the top of the backboard. Read More »

When the NBA announced its preliminary selections for this year’s All-Star Dunk Contest (Blake Griffin, JaVale McGee, Serge Ibaka and Brandon Jennings), it seemed not everyone in the League was feeling its decision. Enter Billy Hoyle. I mean Josh McRoberts. I mean Josh McRoberts as Billy Hoyle and his Indiana Pacers teammate Brandon Rush as Sidney Deane from White Men Can’t Jump. Got it? Good. Read More »