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I know I owe you a DimeBag, so withdraw the attack dogs and shelve your scathing words of antagonism. It’s here. Enjoy the next 10 minutes of ignoring your school/work responsibilities and join in on the pointless ramblings of usually un-resolvable and socially obscure quandaries. Read More »

Stop us if you’ve heard this before. A Denver Nugget is going to play in China during the lockout and will sign the largest contract in the league’s history. This is getting to be ridiculous. Do the Nuggets have some type of deal with frequent flyer miles? That’s now five core players heading overseas: first Wilson Chandler and Ty Lawson, then J.R. Smith, then earlier this week, Danilo Gallinari, and now Kenyon Martin. Is there anyone left? Of course, Martin is supposed to be a free agent so there’s no guarantee his terrible lip tattoo even makes it back to Denver, but there is a chance we see him playing in the NBA later this year. Read More »

“Ohhhh Jesus I love you!”

“I love you!”

“Jesus, I need some money…”

No matter where he went on Coney Island, they came around. People always wanted something. Even in his moment to relax, trophy and check in hand, the sweat running off his fingers and dampening the paper, they mixed in with the crowd. Everywhere he looked, he could point them out: always reaching out trying to touch him… always with a fake look of despair on their faces. Read More »

One thing this lockout made perfectly clear is that He Got Game is by far the most popular basketball movie of this generation. By far. It’s been a minute since I actually sat down and watched the flick, but during our Dime Ultimate Movie Baller tournament, no player generates as much interest or popularity as Jesus (say what you want about Billy Hoyle’s miraculous Cinderella run). For every vote Neon got or Moses got or Scott McKnight got, Jesus got 5-10. Fans just cared more about seeing Lincoln’s finest in the final. Read More »

(4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game vs. (15) Billy Hoyle, White Men Can’t Jump

THE RULES

“Is your son Jesus Shuttlesworth?”

“That’s right…”

“Is your son considered the No. 1 college prospect in these United States of America?”

He couldn’t read the man’s face. It was too dark for that, the moon blocked out by buildings. 3:31 a.m. A mild night, with a slight breeze hitting his back, and yet he felt nothing mild about this pitch. He wasn’t sure why this man had cornered him, didn’t know at all what he wanted and yet here they were talking. Read More »

(1) Neon Bodeaux, Blue Chips vs. (4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game

THE RULES

“You lucky my jumper’s kinda busted right now…”

This isn’t really a dream. It could be, but it’s more like a reflection. A reflection that’s real. If he wanted to, he could reach out and touch it, caress it or slide it through his fingers.

“You look like a cock-a-roach…” Read More »

(4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game vs. (12) Scott Howard, Teen Wolf

THE RULES

The Wolf crosses over and jumps almost in the same instant, 360-ing through the air and then dunking even before Jesus can get his hand up. No one expected this. It’s 5-1, the Wolf, and Jesus is either scared, nervous, surprised or just plain disgusted with all of the greasy hair. The Wolf hasn’t shaved for a month they say, and he hasn’t bathed in twice that long. You can smell him from half court, drenched in sweat, slippery as a wet cat. Read More »

Jason Terry is one of the more personable guys in the whole league, and always an excellent interview. As long as he’ll be around the game, he’ll be a magnet for media. But what about his peers? Do they love him as much as we do? Apparently so. The JET is hosting a “Championship Birthday” celebration for himself next week when he turns 34. There will be entertainers and ballplayers there, mingling about for $40 ($30 if you’re a groupie). But somehow Lil’ Kim will be there, Jadakiss will be there and so will Gorilla Zoe. We thought this was a championship party? Read More »

(4) Jesus Shuttlesworth, He Got Game vs. (13) Travis Porter, Passing Glory

THE RULES

“Jesus…JESUS!”

Some lady is leaning out the window of a building, cupping her hands and screaming down some 10 stories to the court. You can’t even make out her face from here. But you can definitely hear her. Jesus Shuttlesworth looks up out of habit – a childhood habit – and shrugs. He’s used to it. Every person, newspaper, media member, fan, friend and opponent has used his name in one way or another, sometimes to praise him, sometimes to mock him. It is what it is. Read More »

Honestly, how did it take this long to set something like this up? We may not have the NBA on time, but Las Vegas finally has a team, and their “team” should be loaded. A long-rumored league is finally taking shape in the city of Sin, and should tip off at the start of next week. One of the most well-known trainers in the world, Joe Abunassar, is the brains behind the operation (which is being called “Impact Training Competitive Basketball Series”), saying summer leagues are cool, but there’s nothing like playing five on five with all pros (you might know Joe as the guy who’s helped turn Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Love into all-world players). At least 40 players have already committed to play and everyone is serious enough about it that we’ll have six to eight teams, a playoffs and a championship. Read More »