Steve Johnson Eats Ass

I don’t want to be presumptuous, but is it safe to assume that a guy who orders, proudly displays and probably eats a birthday cake shaped like an enormous black lady-ass probably doesn’t have healthy relationships with women?

I can’t say for sure, but this is the 25th birthday cake of Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson, a 24-year old whose birthday isn’t until tomorrow. Flopping Out posted the pictures from his party and their found their way to Hot Clicks, and soon everyone will be able to enjoy the most urban version of Alive ever. I just hope the cake had vanilla on the inside, because nobody should want to eat chocolate out of an ass.

Personally, my favorite part of the cake is that the baker made a gigantic food ass but still put underwear on it. Is it too hard to bake a butthole? Couldn’t you just put a gumdrop between the cheeks and call it a day? Maybe we’ll find out soon on the grossest ever episode of “Ultimate Cake Off”.

[butt tip to Hot Clicks]

×