“My enemies, they’re worried because I’m back. They’re afraid a little bit. … It’s a great feeling.”

I heard one of the world’s most dominant athletes deliver that line last night. Was it Tiger Woods? Kobe Bryant? Floyd Mayweather?

Nope. It was Russian figure skater Yevgeny Plushenko, the defending Olympic gold medalist who came out of retirement before these Vancouver Games and is sitting atop the leaderboard after Day 1 of the men’s competition. Read More »

True, Tiger Woods clearly has other things to worry about right now, but this is crazy. We were only in Dallas for NBA All-Star Weekend for a few hours when we spotted these for sale, not on the street or in some shady spot, but in the hotel gift shop! Read More »

If you didn’t watch the standings or check the box scores, you’d think the Orlando Magic were actually struggling.

Halfway through the season, you can pick a negative story line surrounding the defending Eastern Conference champs and somebody, somewhere has already run with it: Dwight not getting the ball enough; Rashard’s game falling off like he really needs PED’s; missing Hedo and/or Rafer more than they thought; Jameer dealing with more injuries; overpaying Gortat; under-playing Brandon Bass; team meetings regarding Stan Van Gundy’s infectious negativity … You could even throw celebrity Magic fan Tiger Woods and his status collapse onto a pile that should be screaming “NBA Finals hangover.” Read More »

Apparently Rodney Stuckey got his holidays mixed up, because he treated New Year’s Eve like it was Halloween, trying his best to fill out an Isiah Thomas costume. In the first quarter of Pistons/Bulls, Stuckey got the ball on a fast break and planted his left foot wrong, dropping to the floor with a sprained ankle. Pulling himself off the floor like Zeke in ‘88 Finals, Stuckey toughed it out until a little later in the half, when he was coming around a corner and rolled the ankle again. Stuck left after that one, but soon returned and played the rest of the game in obvious pain while still putting up a team-high 22 points … Read More »

Seeing as Rasheed Wallace didn’t even bother combing his hair, you kind of got the impression early on that Boston was taking the Pacers lightly — and that was before the C’s fell behind by double-digits in the first quarter. (Oh wait, ‘Sheed never combs his hair. Scratch that part.) KG was given the night off with a thigh bruise, and even Tommy Heinsohn called in sick rather than risk his pipes against Indiana when there’s a big Christmas Day game against Orlando looming … Overcoming a slow start in which they made Earl Watson look like Tim Hardaway, the Celtics managed a tie going into the fourth, and that’s when Paul Pierce took over. Read More »

Today I came across a column where the writer listed some things Tiger Woods should do if he decides to go on an image-repair campaign: Sign more autographs, smile more often, be nicer to the media, that kind of thing.

Allow me to vigorously disagree. (So much that I had to use the word “vigorously.”) If Tiger all of a sudden re-emerges from this scandal shaking hands and kissing babies, it will come across as blatantly fake, because we all know that’s not Tiger’s natural way. Read More »

If anyone can relate to Tiger Woods right now, it’s Marion Jones. The five-time Olympic medal sprinter and long jumper was once in the good girl/golden child class of American athletes — then suddenly found her personal life being picked apart thanks to close ties to steroid users and her eventual admission that she also used steroids.

(In my perfect world, Tiger’s next press conference goes like this: * Reporter: Where were you headed at 2:30 in the morning? * Tiger: Well, to be honest, I was going to go mind my f***in’ business.) Read More »

Ranking the League from worst to first…

30. New Jersey Nets (0-17) — Can we just give Chris Douglas-Roberts (16.4 ppg) the Most Improved Player award out of pity? The kid only lost 10 games total in three years of college, and now he’s dealing with this.

29. Minnesota Timberwolves (2-15) — Once they get Kevin Love back, they’ll have a real good shot at winning 11 or even 12 games this year. Read More »

White Chocolate signing with the Magic yesterday likely signaled the last offseason move by any of the NBA’s legit championship contenders before training camp. (Assuming the Marquis Daniels-to-Boston deal is just a paperwork formality at this point.) So now that we know who’s working with what, why not start handicapping the field? … Orlando could very well run through the Eastern Conference postseason bracket again, but they probably won’t be doing it as a #1 or even a #2 seed thanks to Rashard Lewis‘ 10-game suspension. Read More »

Seeing as LeBron has given 15,000 “I’m cool where I’m at/I love Cleveland” interviews and yet you’ve still got dudes in New York City hawking homemade LBJ #23 Knicks jerseys on the street, there’s really no point in superstar free-agents-to-be saying anything about their situation in the months before they hit the market. Especially when they have a chance to sign a contract extension and don’t do it. Dwyane Wade probably gave Miami fans a lift with some recent quotes in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel: “Next year will be a big year for myself and for the team, but the plan has always been to stay with the Heat, and that’s still the plan,” Wade said. Read More »